ARandomSparkle
15-11-13, 13:52
So glad I can introduce myself this way - I can barely talk to new people face to face anymore...
I am 23 years old and was diagnosed with depression around 2 and a half months ago. In reality, I look back and see depression in my life for a number of years. Shortly after I was diagnosed with depression, symptoms of anxiety kicked in, and now I am a mess.
I have been signed off work for 2 and a half months, I feel utterly useless being at home all day, but if I can barely leave the house to go to the shop, I cant fathom how I would cope working a 9 hour shift in my office. Going part time or working from home isn't an option unfortunately.
After being off work for 2 weeks, my friends and family made it very clear that I should go back to work - my GP didn't think so, but they weren't having any of that. Subsequently, I have told my family and friends I have returned to work. Now I feel awful for lying to them, but I also feel panicky that they will find out I have lied.
I am having CBT training, which isn't much help so far. I am takinf 15mg of mirtazapine daily, which is ok - ive settled quite well but it doesn't seem to be improving my symptoms at all. I am scared to discuss this with my doctor as I have tried fluoxetine and citalopram and both made me quite ill and worsened my depression, so I am scared to change my tablets - they might not be helping but they certainly aren't making me feel worse.
I live with my partner and feel like a huge burden. His EX was manic depressive and this had a bad effect on their relationship, and we had many discussions about depression before we got together, and I told him I wasn't crazy. Turns out I am, and I feel like I have really let him down. He clearly doesn't know what to say to me, or how to deal with my anxiety and depression. Ive offered to find help to help him understand but he doesn't seem to want to know.
I hate my life - I feel like such a failure and cant see it getting any better. I'm sorry to throw all this negative out there - I just really need some help. Any kind words or shared experiences would be greatly appreciated.
Peace and love to you all :blush:
I am 23 years old and was diagnosed with depression around 2 and a half months ago. In reality, I look back and see depression in my life for a number of years. Shortly after I was diagnosed with depression, symptoms of anxiety kicked in, and now I am a mess.
I have been signed off work for 2 and a half months, I feel utterly useless being at home all day, but if I can barely leave the house to go to the shop, I cant fathom how I would cope working a 9 hour shift in my office. Going part time or working from home isn't an option unfortunately.
After being off work for 2 weeks, my friends and family made it very clear that I should go back to work - my GP didn't think so, but they weren't having any of that. Subsequently, I have told my family and friends I have returned to work. Now I feel awful for lying to them, but I also feel panicky that they will find out I have lied.
I am having CBT training, which isn't much help so far. I am takinf 15mg of mirtazapine daily, which is ok - ive settled quite well but it doesn't seem to be improving my symptoms at all. I am scared to discuss this with my doctor as I have tried fluoxetine and citalopram and both made me quite ill and worsened my depression, so I am scared to change my tablets - they might not be helping but they certainly aren't making me feel worse.
I live with my partner and feel like a huge burden. His EX was manic depressive and this had a bad effect on their relationship, and we had many discussions about depression before we got together, and I told him I wasn't crazy. Turns out I am, and I feel like I have really let him down. He clearly doesn't know what to say to me, or how to deal with my anxiety and depression. Ive offered to find help to help him understand but he doesn't seem to want to know.
I hate my life - I feel like such a failure and cant see it getting any better. I'm sorry to throw all this negative out there - I just really need some help. Any kind words or shared experiences would be greatly appreciated.
Peace and love to you all :blush: