Exhausted by it all!

[ady1779]

I don't really know what I am searching out by posting this...maybe reassurance, maybe just a way of getting it out of my head! I have Health Anxiety OCD. I ruminate excessively for hours and days about my health. Every twitch, twinge, sore muscle, eye twitch, tingle.....is a DVT, stroke, heart attack, blood clot...the list goes on. I have a wonderful CBT therapist, I have made some inroads. But lately I just seem to be sliding back into health compulsions. I am exhausted. My breathing is always off now, has been for 6 weeks or more. Even when I feel happy it still sneaks in there to torment and worry me. I am obsessed that there is something wrong with my heart even though I have never been told or led to believe that there is. I have had chest xrays and two ecgs in the last 2 weeks. Both textbook and completely normal. But then I think maybe the ecg didn't pick up what was wrong because it wasn't happening at the time or the doctor read it wrong because he is not a cardiologist. Right now and all day my breathing has been bothering me. I take deep, sighing breaths all day. My chest and upper back ache now. Do I think that is anxiety? On one level. The other level tells me its life threatening.

I am exhausted by this. I am tired from this. I am over this. I have to make some changes or I will waste what little time I have here that I have been gifted with by God.

[Andria24]

Ady - Rome wasn't built in a day. It sounds as though you're on the right track but dissatisfied with the time that it's taking to resolve and recover from your anxiety disorder/s.

You are moving in the right direction, you have stepped onto the right path.

Have you considered revisiting your treatment, and altering it in some way? Are you in meds for example, and, if so, are they the right ones for you? Do you need counselling or some other form of therapy (there are many)?

Please try and celebrate the successes. You have many. Further discuss exactly how you're feeling, or keep a diary of your day to day events and experiences. Sit down and consider what you're good at, and aim to build upon your natural talents. As a guideline I'm creative, and patient enough to restore/upcycle bits of furniture. I am also quite good at drawing and sculpting, and enjoy reading, reading and more reading.

And you're not wasting your time, you're investing it in a happier version of your current self :)