Why do I feel apprehensive every morning

[Raphaels]

Good morning to all.
I wake up every day with a feeling and thoughts of will I be alive at the end of the day.
Then I can rationalise these thoughts with idiot of course you are going to be alive. But these thoughts are so harmful and intrusive.
I always feel that if it's going to go wrong it will happen to me. I'm sure that's what we all feel. It's all neg thoughts. But to move forward and know that it is thoughts and not reality is so hard. I'm always waiting for the next catastrophe to happen. I'm afraid that I will not be able to cope. I've been through so much in my life that I'm afraid I will MIT be able to vote with anything else. But that's what I'm hoping to get next. I want help to move forward and to be able to cope with whatever life throws At me. If there is a therapy that can do that I will forever be grateful.
I will be watching the programme tonight about Aviophobia. I am so afraid of flying. So it will be interesting to watch others going through the fear and how they overcome it. I wish I was fearless. I do so admire people who are fearless.

[cpe1978]

I dont believe anyone is fearless. I just believe that most people deal with their fears in a proportionate way. That is the problem with HA, perfectly rational thoughts and anxieties that are blown way out of proportion by our crazy minds :)

[Raphaels]

Your right fearless is not the word. I wish I could trek to the Himalayas. What an achievement. Climbing mountains. When you've always been afraid and you look at others doing this activity to me they are fearless.

[cpe1978]

No they aren't they just cope with their fears better :)

---------- Post added at 10:00 ---------- Previous post was at 09:56 ----------


Good morning to all.
I wake up every day with a feeling and thoughts of will I be alive at the end of the day.

Do you have any evidence to support these thoughts? I guess not, given you have been alive for many years ;)

Then I can rationalise these thoughts with idiot of course you are going to be alive. But these thoughts are so harmful and intrusive.

I always feel that if it's going to go wrong it will happen to me.
Do terrible things always happen to you?

I'm always waiting for the next catastrophe to happen. I'm afraid that I will not be able to cope.
Have you had a life riddled with catastrophes so far? Even if you have you seem to have coped ok up to press?



What you outline in your post is textbook catastrophic thinking which most often comes with no evidence to support it.

[Raphaels]

Yes, I have had awful things happen. Touched up as a child. Parent violent. This is were my fear is based. Because everyday I did not know how the day would end. Not having a mum who would give me love. Never been hugged by her as a child. Then touched up by my GP, idiot. If I ever see him I'll touch him were the sun doesn't shine. But that's Another thread. Then my son having several heart ops. Which has given me anxieties over him and my fear of heart attack. So life has been hell. I try not to compare my life with others but our social life one were everyone else's life is hunky dory and I'm struggling. Not bothered about there wealth as it's not important to me. I just want my life back without anxieties.
But don't we all.

[cpe1978]

But look how well you have coped in spite of that adversity. You are still here, alive and kicking. How can you take the confidence from that and use it productively?

I hope you don't see me as provocative, I don't intend to be, just think that sometimes when you look at people's stories objectively it is easier to see.

I also think when we look at other people's lives we only see the positive. The phrase the grass isnt greener didnt come from nowhere. I remember when we had our first child. My wife used to meet up with the other new mothers and concoct an image of a perfect baby and a perfect life, whereas we were at home, not sleeping, knackered with a baby who wasnt doing what she was supposed to. Of course, it is all just PR, everyone had those challenges and although clearly you have faced more than most you need to think about how you can draw strength from the fact that you have faced those things and come out the other side.

[Raphaels]

Cpe1978
Thank you so much for replying. I really do appreciate all your comments. My so called friends are not interested in what my issues are. They all think I should move on. They have not been through what I've been through. They may ring once a week to check in but really they are only concerned with there own uncomplicated self indulgent hypocritical lives. I used to have many friends in the baptist church I went to. But now in the Greek church it's so different. Even my priest who is so well educated has no idea about mental health issues. So basically I'm very lonely. I depend on my son and husband for support.
I used to have parties and get together snow that's all finished. My parents are gone my brother is estranged. My sons have there own lives so basically I'm lonely.
Again thanks for taking the time to write.