I need to vent

[chicaplatense1]

Hi, it is morning and I have to go to school but I feel so sad and anxious, hopeless.
Today is my 19th day on Zoloft and 5th day on 100mg.
I wonder why would this pill help me when I have been feeling like this since February (9 months!) and tried 2 other AD's (Celexa and Lexapro) that didn't help. I gave them a good try, 3 months each.
I am really doubting that I will feel better, I have 4 children that need me.
I feel so sad that sometimes I think it would be a relief to die but I know that relief won't come...
Anyone ever feel like this? Anyone felt really bad for this long with 2 AD's failing and finally found something that worked?
I keep begging God to help me at least for my children.... :weep:

[MrAndy]

hi chic i was on a cocktail of drugs for a year then tried sert which helped but the biggest help was olanzapine it simply knocked anxiety for six
nothing in life cant be overcome stay strong and maybe get some counselling support ?

[-Stella-]

Not myself, but my sister's boyfriend suffered for a very long time and also tried two ADs that didn't seem to do anything for him before he found one (which happened to be sertraline) that worked for him.

I am sorry that I can't do more to make you feel better but I hope that this illustrates that it does happen to other people, there is hope. Hang on in there :hugs:

[Ally-SA]

Aww. I feel for you, I really do... Am also struggling - but I am going to stick to it.

I don't know if you'll find comfort in this BUT - someone said to me once that if you experience side effects, it's a sure sign the meds WILL work. So hang in there! :)

Take some time to be with your kids and do something with them - something fun - play some games, watch something funny on TV, bake or whatever (I don't have kids so I have no idea what to suggest :D). Try to relax. I know it's not easy, but you must try to take your mind off how ick you feel.

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

---------- Post added at 14:44 ---------- Previous post was at 11:30 ----------

Oh and I wanted to share this with you:

http://www.lettersofnote.com/2009/10/it-will-be-sunny-one-day.html

:)

[chicaplatense1]

Awww! You guys are so sweet!
Thank you, that makes me feel better.
My day yesterday wasn't too bad in the end and I felt great in the evening.
This morning I woke up feeling ok but a little later I started feeling waves of anxiety and panic again. I am at Uni now during lunch break. I had to take a Clonazepam once more because anxiety was so bad I could eat breakfast and had bad nausea. Seems to be calming down now....

---------- Post added at 11:54 ---------- Previous post was at 11:53 ----------

So far I have been taking Clonazepam every other day. I try to reserve it for the really bad moments.

[-Stella-]

I am glad to hear you ended up doing better yesterday! Here's hoping you will feel as good this evening too. Keep on going, one day at a time :)

[chicaplatense1]

Yesterday was really hard the whole morning and after I took Clonazepam I felt better. This morning I woke up early with terrible waves of anxiety and feeling sick. I decided to eat breakfast right away (I never do that) because I thought maybe that would help stop the nausea and it did. Then I took my Zoloft and wondered if today would be the same as yesterday, if I would start feeling really anxious soon after taking the pill and while driving to school and if I would end up having another entire day of nausea, having to take Klonopin again. But instead I felt calm, I kept waiting for the anxiety but it never came! I came home from school and I am going to study for a test tomorrow. I feel calm. This medicine is so strange, yesterday I felt awful and thought I would feel the same today because I woke up with the same awful feeling.... but I felt good! Who know tomorrow... I guess who cares tomorrow, I will enjoy today.

[-Stella-]

I agree that it is strange! For me, the first couple of weeks were a bit of a rollercoaster and I never knew what to expect one day to the next, just as you are describing, but it did settle down and now I feel that it is really starting to help - I am still having good days and bad days but there ARE good days, which there weren't before...
I think you are right that the thing to do is to take each day as it comes and enjoy the good times when they happen. You are doing really well!

[chicaplatense1]

Thank you Stella, and I am glad things are settling for you. Today I woke up with no anxiety and no depression.
I got a little anxiety later in the day but nothing too bad and it was because I had to teach Spanish to a group of medical students and I had no idea I was expected to stand in front of them and teach and had to improvise. But I got through it ok. I got a little anxious in the evening again but nothing too bad but I did take the clonazepam because my doctor has told me that I need to "create distance between my last panic attack" to allow me to "get myself up all the way" as each time I get anxious it contributes to anticipatory anxiety and the cycle needs to be broken. But yesterday I didn't take clonazepam at all, so it is ok.
I hope that you continue to feel better each day.

[Ally-SA]

You guys are doing great! :D

I'm doing okay too. Day 3 of 50mg and I'm managing. Feel a little anxious now and then, but nothing like how it was even a week ago! I'm sleeping really deep - yesterday afternoon is the first time I had a nap in weeks where I managed to sleep through my alarm! lol Still having strange dreams. But it's ok. Feeling a bit light-headed, but I know it'll pass in time.

Have a lovely weekend! :D xx

[chicaplatense1]

Hi, the last few days have been good for me. This morning though I woke up feeling a little anxious and sad. I hope it will go away. I have my cycle also so I don't know if that has anything to do with it..

[chicaplatense1]

Yea, it's me again on this same day. Really tough day. I took a clonazepam at 5am because I woke up feeling anxious but it didn't do anything. Then I stayed in bed til 10 am when I got up and took my Zoloft. After an hour I started to feel better but then a couple of hours later I started to feel anxious and down again. I waited until 2pm and took another clonazepam. I felt better again for about 3 or 4 hours and then again I started to feel anxious and like crying. I cried for about 15 minutes. I feel sad....

[-Stella-]

Just stopping by to send you more encouragement and a hug: :hugs:

[chicaplatense1]

I woke up feeling sad again. I don't feel like doing anything or seeing people. I just wish I could go to sleep and not wake up again.

[Ally-SA]

I wish I could give you some really good advice, but I'm not sure what to tell you. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. Try cut your meds down a little and see how it feels - some people go down and feel better. You have to find a level that will suit you. Also, and I could be wrong here, but I've heard that taking things like Clonazepam with meds should only be used short-term as they will mask effects and make it harder to come off them. Try to relax and do something small that will take your mind off things - something happy. I've been doing some painting and reading. I have to be patient, and it's hard...