phil6
18-11-13, 18:04
I know this is not going to be a good thread to start, but once again I find myself despairing while trying so hard to get better from anxiety.
I think I suffer from GAD, although 1 know what a panic attack feels like, and I do struggle in social settings.
I have done CBT, tried medication, and I'm currently starting a new CBT course which is 1-1.
I know only too well that I shouldn't struggle with my anxiety, or fight it, or try and change the way I feel. I know none of these strategies work.
I don't want people to believe that I'm a brave soul, because I do try and carry on and do normal things each day, and I am not saying that every day is as bad as today, but some days, and today is a good example, I just get so overwhelmed with the feelings of anxiety that I feel I cannot cope with it
I think I have a problem with exaggerating things, but today I was returning from a visit to the gym I did start to feel very very sorry for myself. I felt the need to rush home as I really didn't want to break down in public.
Then the despair really kicks in. I rarely take medication but took a Valium just to try and call down. This worked for a short while but within 2 to 3 hours I felt it wearing off and the despair returned and it was even higher.
I have taken the second Valium.
I thought I was doing so well over the past few days feeling anxiety but not reacting too badly to it. Even feeling quite well by the afternoon.
The problem I have is that now I feel like this was all a waste of time. The progress I made seems to have all vanished and I'm back at square one.
I know people will say there are good days and bad days but these bad days kick me in the teeth. I despair beyond belief. I cry, and I mean I really cry. It's hard to stop.
I read on the Internet and in books about acceptance, about how anxiety cannot do you any damage, but you do reach stages where you just want to give up..
I know even know that I will have to start again, as there is no other option.
But at the moment I don't know where I will get the strength to do this.
I have no idea why I cannot accept the anxiety. Negative thinking seems to kick in and completely defeats me.
There just doesn't seem to be a thought that I can cling onto when it gets this bad. It's not that the physical feelings are that bad for me, it is the associated dread. I can hardly describe it. What do I think I will achieve by running to bed?
I guess I'm posting this to look for some kind of encouragement.
I really don't have anything to fear outside of this feeling of anxiety.
I want to get better.
I understand when I am told to just let the feelings come, but if I am honest they still frighten the life out if me and any positive thoughts like...this will pass... Seem to get swamped.
Phil
I think I suffer from GAD, although 1 know what a panic attack feels like, and I do struggle in social settings.
I have done CBT, tried medication, and I'm currently starting a new CBT course which is 1-1.
I know only too well that I shouldn't struggle with my anxiety, or fight it, or try and change the way I feel. I know none of these strategies work.
I don't want people to believe that I'm a brave soul, because I do try and carry on and do normal things each day, and I am not saying that every day is as bad as today, but some days, and today is a good example, I just get so overwhelmed with the feelings of anxiety that I feel I cannot cope with it
I think I have a problem with exaggerating things, but today I was returning from a visit to the gym I did start to feel very very sorry for myself. I felt the need to rush home as I really didn't want to break down in public.
Then the despair really kicks in. I rarely take medication but took a Valium just to try and call down. This worked for a short while but within 2 to 3 hours I felt it wearing off and the despair returned and it was even higher.
I have taken the second Valium.
I thought I was doing so well over the past few days feeling anxiety but not reacting too badly to it. Even feeling quite well by the afternoon.
The problem I have is that now I feel like this was all a waste of time. The progress I made seems to have all vanished and I'm back at square one.
I know people will say there are good days and bad days but these bad days kick me in the teeth. I despair beyond belief. I cry, and I mean I really cry. It's hard to stop.
I read on the Internet and in books about acceptance, about how anxiety cannot do you any damage, but you do reach stages where you just want to give up..
I know even know that I will have to start again, as there is no other option.
But at the moment I don't know where I will get the strength to do this.
I have no idea why I cannot accept the anxiety. Negative thinking seems to kick in and completely defeats me.
There just doesn't seem to be a thought that I can cling onto when it gets this bad. It's not that the physical feelings are that bad for me, it is the associated dread. I can hardly describe it. What do I think I will achieve by running to bed?
I guess I'm posting this to look for some kind of encouragement.
I really don't have anything to fear outside of this feeling of anxiety.
I want to get better.
I understand when I am told to just let the feelings come, but if I am honest they still frighten the life out if me and any positive thoughts like...this will pass... Seem to get swamped.
Phil