Could I have hit the nail on the head -advice please?

[har76]

I think I have actually made a bit of sense to myself just now and wanted to share my findings and check if others can relate to this as beinga symptom/cause of anxiety. My most recent episode started mostly due to health worries and stress from changing jobs, a negative emotional experience earlier this year and just generally trying to cope with two kids under 6 and a nearly full time job (don't like my new job as well but had to make decision to move to it to be nearer home for children and cost etc). It the spiraled into general anxiety but still mostly focused on fears of illness taking away myself or my husband from our children's lives or something taking them. However when I am able to rationalise these worries I findi am still trapped by anxiety and start looking for other fears and problems and while I don't ever have thoughts of physically harming my children or husband (I broke down in floods of tears and beat myself up mentally for ages after I lost my temper with my 2 year old and very fleetingly considered smacking her but asa family we are anti smacking so this thought upset me greatly) however find my intrusive and distressing thoughts sometimes focus of the harm I am doing mentally or the harm I could cause by leaving them or finding out I'm not happy where I am and feel compelled to leave them which is distressing as I have absolutely no intention of doing any of this and am happy other than when I am stressed anxious and a little depressed and it is only at times like this that these thoughts occur. Is it possible that I am continuing this cycle or spiral by allowing my worn out nervous system to attach far too much meaning to these thoughts and the key really is to let them go along with over thinking every single health worry?
Any thoughts?

[russdownunder]

Have you discussed this with a doctor? If not, print out the post you just wrote, make an appointment and let him/her read it. I'm not saying you've cured yourself, but your post makes a lot of sense.

[Tanner40]

Har76, it sounds like you've had a lot of changes over the last 6 months to a year. All of these changes are stressful in and of themselves. For me, I find that I have to try to continuously stay positive about the changes, even if it is finding only one positive thing that I can dwell on during the work day. I will find that one positive event and try to make it the highlight of my day, dwelling on the one accomplishment instead of the overriding negativity and anxiety.

I do believe that you've hit the proverbial nail on the head when you state that your may be allowing the cycle or spiral of anxiety to continue by attaching for too much meaning to your intrusive thoughts and worries. I know that when I allow my intrusive thoughts to become disturbing to me, and then I continue to dwell on them, along with my health anxieties, it only fuels the fire. That is when my anxiety will spiral out of control.

I find that i have to accept the feelings and the thoughts and not dwell on them. I find a distraction and try to find a single positive thought to focus on. CBT has helped me much in this regard. Just a thought?

[har76]

Thank you for the replies -I know I'm not cured as even as I write I'm trying to pick holes in my rationality if that makes sense. I've spoken toa very sympathetic doctor plus i have access to a counselling help line through my work who have been amazing. I think that it doesn't even matter if it makes sense to anyone else if it resonates with me then that is all that should matter. I've been doing lots of research mindfulness and am down to do some group cbt once dates are available and in the mean time I'm looking at lots of self help exercises etc so am really hopeful that I will be able to counter act the effects of stress anxiety depression on this occasion and should it happen again the future. Plus I have found lots to support my theory both under symptoms on this website and also getselfhelp.co.uk both of which suggest that while stressed anxious depressed then normal thought patterns become distorted and that it is common to give to much weight or to start to believe these 'automatic' thoughts and that feelings can be effected as well.

[Edie]

Oh yes, I definitely think you are attaching too much meaning to these thoughts. I think that is probably an issue for nearly all of us, though clearly we all have a different combination of thoughts and issues. CBT can be an excellent way to deal with this automatic way of thinking, so once you get that opportunity I think you will find that very helpful.

I do think you've taken a huge step forwards here. You've identified a major cause of your anxiety, now you just need to work out how to stop attaching so much meaning to your thoughts, which will be a major task, but you're at least one step closer to that now.

[Fishmanpa]

The fact that you've identified these irrational thoughts as irrational and have found ways to quell them is a huge step in the right direction. Add to that therapy and self help and you've make strides in beating the beast.

The thoughts you're having should be discussed with your therapist but I do feel you're onto something that makes it easier for you do deal with your anxiety.

Keep up the good work!

Positive thoughts!

[har76]

I'm going to go for full on distraction -I've spoken about this when I had my assessment for the mental health team when I was asked if I had considered self harming I said no except in am emotional sense which is how I'm viewing these thoughts and it is from that I'm being referred to CBT as I think that is where I will find most success -for now I'm going for full on distraction -I'm going to accept that I have had these thoughts and that they are part of a chemical response to anxiety however I refuse to accept that I have to give them any further headpiece -I'm going to get busy getting well