perdurabo
08-11-06, 19:45
Hi there everyone
I'd just like to share my own recent experiences with you in the hope someone can shed some light on what's going on because my symptoms are gradually becoming more and more debilitating and my GP doesn't really want to know.
I first started experiencing the symptoms of panic disorder about 5 years ago, a few months after developing the manic symptoms of manic depression/bipolar disorder. I've since struggled with the symptoms of depression and the awkward after-effects of mania (eg shame! confusion! panic! debt!), but by far the most frustrating symptoms I've had to deal with have been the symptoms of panic which have really come to the fore over the last 12 months.
I've never actually ended up in an emergency room although I've lost count of the times I've been worried that I'm having or about to have a huge heart attack. In recent weeks I've spent several anguished nights sobbing away to myself (worried I'll wake the neighbours!) and unable to sleep because of these horrible symptoms. I've also experienced sleep paralysis fairly frequently in the past although not in a while. What I've been experiencing recently is a combination of panic, heart palpitations/chest pain, my left arm going numb, difficulty swallowing, hot flushes in my neck, difficulty breathing, bouts of weird, subdued belching (which can last for hours and really embarass me at work and would embarass me even more if it wasn't quite a noisy environment already).
I'm no longer sure if my symptoms of panic relate to my natural neuroticism/anxiety or if they're simply fear of the physical symptoms themselves or something physical in origin. I've been to my GP about 4 or 5 times in the last 8 months, the most recent visit occurring last week after the aforementioned sleepless nights when I couldn't sleep because of palpitations/chest pains, difficulty swallowing and sleep apnoea, the latter forcing me to wake up periodically and momentarily before almost immediately falling back to sleep again because I was so tired, before exactly the same thing happened again 5 mintues later - and this went on ALL NIGHT :( My GP was civil enough but he was also palpably pissed off that I'd turned up yet again with symptoms of what is, as far as he's concerned, a totally psychological disorder which he's not trained or inclined to treat. He actually said to me "you visit the doctors fifty times more than the average 28 year old" which obviously made me feel GREAT about myself ie not only am I enduring these horrible symptoms but when I go to the doctor in a state of polite despair (hanging on in quiet desperation being the English way and all that) I'm made to feel that I'm wasting his time. He took my blood pressure and listened to my chest and deemed it perfectly normal.
The sypmtoms are also affecting my ability to function at work (I work within a targetted sales environment which can't help my stress levels, but then again I've experienced the same symptoms with similar frequency and severity when working in a mickey mouse call centre job with little-to-no obvious stress earlier this year) due both to tiredness following sleepless nights and the palpitations/heartaches/neckaches themselves occurring at work.
I'm worried about my physical condition because my dad had a severe heart attack about 5 years ago (after smoking 30 a day for 5 years) and I myself smoke (cutting down to about 10 rollies per evening recently, none at work, but having smoked fairly constantly for the last 10 years). I also drink red wine frequently because I find it alleviates the symptoms I've described (it's an anxiolytic after all.... I'm sure someone's going to lecture me on this and maybe that's what I need). I'm probably an alcoholic but a functioning one at least. I've also been taking at least 4 - 6 beta blockers (propanolol) per day every other day if not every day for the last month and it's starting to drive me to despair.
I've cut out marijuana and all other illegal narcotics.
Thing is, I'm not even sure if I'm really that depresse
I'd just like to share my own recent experiences with you in the hope someone can shed some light on what's going on because my symptoms are gradually becoming more and more debilitating and my GP doesn't really want to know.
I first started experiencing the symptoms of panic disorder about 5 years ago, a few months after developing the manic symptoms of manic depression/bipolar disorder. I've since struggled with the symptoms of depression and the awkward after-effects of mania (eg shame! confusion! panic! debt!), but by far the most frustrating symptoms I've had to deal with have been the symptoms of panic which have really come to the fore over the last 12 months.
I've never actually ended up in an emergency room although I've lost count of the times I've been worried that I'm having or about to have a huge heart attack. In recent weeks I've spent several anguished nights sobbing away to myself (worried I'll wake the neighbours!) and unable to sleep because of these horrible symptoms. I've also experienced sleep paralysis fairly frequently in the past although not in a while. What I've been experiencing recently is a combination of panic, heart palpitations/chest pain, my left arm going numb, difficulty swallowing, hot flushes in my neck, difficulty breathing, bouts of weird, subdued belching (which can last for hours and really embarass me at work and would embarass me even more if it wasn't quite a noisy environment already).
I'm no longer sure if my symptoms of panic relate to my natural neuroticism/anxiety or if they're simply fear of the physical symptoms themselves or something physical in origin. I've been to my GP about 4 or 5 times in the last 8 months, the most recent visit occurring last week after the aforementioned sleepless nights when I couldn't sleep because of palpitations/chest pains, difficulty swallowing and sleep apnoea, the latter forcing me to wake up periodically and momentarily before almost immediately falling back to sleep again because I was so tired, before exactly the same thing happened again 5 mintues later - and this went on ALL NIGHT :( My GP was civil enough but he was also palpably pissed off that I'd turned up yet again with symptoms of what is, as far as he's concerned, a totally psychological disorder which he's not trained or inclined to treat. He actually said to me "you visit the doctors fifty times more than the average 28 year old" which obviously made me feel GREAT about myself ie not only am I enduring these horrible symptoms but when I go to the doctor in a state of polite despair (hanging on in quiet desperation being the English way and all that) I'm made to feel that I'm wasting his time. He took my blood pressure and listened to my chest and deemed it perfectly normal.
The sypmtoms are also affecting my ability to function at work (I work within a targetted sales environment which can't help my stress levels, but then again I've experienced the same symptoms with similar frequency and severity when working in a mickey mouse call centre job with little-to-no obvious stress earlier this year) due both to tiredness following sleepless nights and the palpitations/heartaches/neckaches themselves occurring at work.
I'm worried about my physical condition because my dad had a severe heart attack about 5 years ago (after smoking 30 a day for 5 years) and I myself smoke (cutting down to about 10 rollies per evening recently, none at work, but having smoked fairly constantly for the last 10 years). I also drink red wine frequently because I find it alleviates the symptoms I've described (it's an anxiolytic after all.... I'm sure someone's going to lecture me on this and maybe that's what I need). I'm probably an alcoholic but a functioning one at least. I've also been taking at least 4 - 6 beta blockers (propanolol) per day every other day if not every day for the last month and it's starting to drive me to despair.
I've cut out marijuana and all other illegal narcotics.
Thing is, I'm not even sure if I'm really that depresse