View Full Version : Last trip to the doctors
Hi everyone,
I went to the doctors this morning about the mole as I haven't sleep in two nights. It was the same one that told me to leave the other day but was only app. He looked at the mole and measured it telling me it's normal. Asked if it was there before and I said I don't know. He then said, now if there is nothing else then I will let you go but please stay away from the doctors for a bit as you have had 8 appointments in 3 weeks. I see where he is coming from but then said to him about the pain under the mole. He said it looked normal and textures fine and that I do not have anything. I then told him the pain must be something then he got quite angry and asked me to leave. I'm still worried about the mole but can't go doctors anymore. Hoping this anxiety meetings later helps
---------- Post added at 11:14 ---------- Previous post was at 11:08 ----------
Could the doctor not have looked properly because of my anxiety?
Ok, there seems to be two parts to this:
1. The doctor might have been abrupt but that doesn't mean he was negligent. If he told you it was fine, it was and I expect you have been prodding and poking at it which has made it sore.
2. If he knows you have HA he shouldn't shooing you off even though his impatience is understandable. He should be making sure that it that you get the right help for it. I think you have said before that you intend to change doctors. Do that asap and speak to your new doctor about your HA first and foremost.
Yep, going to a new doctors to register now. On the other leg around the same place it's sore if I rub it. It may have always been like that. If we rub around we can probably find things anyway?
Stop rubbing and looking for things to worry about! Be firm with yourself and refrain from that stuff, it will only do you more harm than good x
Sean, take a look at yourself mate. This is going to turn into anohter 13 pager if you don't get to grips with this now.
The GP is unconcerned and you should be unconcerned. You can't go to the GP the second you notice a small pain, you have to give things a bit of time to remedy themselves, as they almost always will. For example at the moment I have a sore rib, occasionally my HA brain allows itself to wander, but in reality i know that it will go away at some point and it was probably caused by one of my kids.
The simple fact is, that until you break this cycle and learn to trust a doctor then you wont beat this thing. You keep yourself locked in reassurance seeking which is just destructive.
You need to grab the bull by the horns and get some discipline. It is a shame because we saw a glimpse of what a witty and fun guy you can be when you were feeling better. Get back to that place.
Thanks CPE, that helps. Have my appointment in 5 minutes about my anxiety so hopefully that will get me going.
unsure_about_this
25-11-13, 12:36
Hi willous1
I am bit like you going to the doctors in a number of times in a short period of time. I prefer to be reassurance that I am fine even though I do feel embarrassed about the numbers of time I been. my problem is the abdominal pain late last year, early this year.
The GPs know I am very anxious about my health and fear of the big c, I don't have just one GP I could see a number of different ones at the practice, because of the days the GPs work at the practice etc. I prefer some more than others, however I am grateful the GPs sent for scans, because I may need keyhole on my small bowel may have a small tear, loopy thingy.
I wish you well hopefully you can get the help you need about your anxiety, I have just started CBT and had 3 appointments already, I know I am not going to be 100% anxious free.
8 appointments is 3 weeks? That's nearly 3 a week! Quite honestly, no wonder he was abrupt. I really can't blame him. I mean, he looked, measured, told you all the indications that indicate a totally normal mole and you still questioned him. I'd be pissed too! ....And you're still doubting. I'm so sorry :( You had the opportunity to not go and gain a victory in the war but fell for the enemy's tricks. Thing is, deep down you know it.
Like the others are saying, hopefully you'll get some help soon.
Positive thoughts and prayers
Years ago, when I had HA that was really out of control, I got a really good piece of advice from my GP. Unless it's a **dire emergency** (which is the really obvious things that we are all told are "red flag" symptoms) leave odd aches and pains for at least a week before getting an appointment. In that time, your symptoms will either have gone away or got more consistent, in which case you're in a good position to decide what to do.
There is no 100% cure for anxiety - in fact, if there was we wouldn't live very long as we would have no fear of real danger. It's all about learning to manage it.
It's funny, I had a similar conversation with my GP recently blue angel, although unfortunately although she is great, she is a bit socially awkward and so doesn't explain herself well. But I asked her how you re calibrate your response to physical symptoms. What you have written above is a really good rule of thumb and one that we should all try and stick to.
Sean,
I tried to be kind and understanding on Saturday. Now I think that, as we are friends (and as I'm a grumpy cow because I've been projectile vomiting since 5am) its time to be honest.
You keep changing the reality of the outside to suit the reality in your head. For example, just the other day you said that the pain wasn't even in the same place as the mole. You also said you thought it had been there ages.
Now suddenly that's all changed - don't you think your mind is playing tricks on you?
Is this your New doctor that you have seen 8 times in 3 weeks? Regardless, that is excessive. I don't think your doctor would mind the excessive visits as much if they helped but they don't because you think you know better than him.
I don't take a hard line against reassurance seeking because I understand that we all have off days and a bit of reassurance can help. It doesn't seem to help you though, it just escalates things with you re-asking the same question in a hundred different ways. Stop it.
Have to agree with Katie's stance here. The door to freedom from HA is opening in front of you. A few days ago you poked your head out and had a look around. Seems like you have slammed it again and you just have to make sure you don't turn the key and lock it.
Sean - you were doing exceptionally well, we shared some laughs on this forum - but Katie is right now is time to grow some massive balls (metaphorically only otherwise a trip to the GP would be In order.) and push on through this blip.
Thanks Kate, CPE and others. I am banning myself from the doctors now unless I know it's urgent. Today was a shock to the system. I spoke to someone on the phone for nearly an hour and think he is booking me in for CBT but he is also seeing what else there is. I do listen to people on here etc but my mind just plays tricks like what Kate said. I am really going to see today as the real beginning. I had a day off and collected the boys from nursery and for the first time in ages felt happy and like I'm alive. With Christmas coming up I'm going to see it as an opportunity to change. The CBT may help as well. I know the mole has been there ages but my mind earlier was telling me it may not have been, so silly.
Football on tele tonight and back to work properly tomorrow. Normality is needed though Crystal palace won on the weekend which certainly was not normal ha.
The weekend was a horrible blip and nothing more
---------- Post added at 17:15 ---------- Previous post was at 16:28 ----------
How are you finding the CBT Phil?
unsure_about_this
25-11-13, 17:28
Hi Willous1.
I am finding CBT okay many thanks for asking it very mind blowing which I expected, we have talked about a lot of things I am worried about, including the condition my dad's has (nothing serious) and my mum has NF type 1 neurofibromatosis. I know it will be a lot more sessions before he moves me onto another thing.
Well done Sean and Phil for giving this thing some welly.
Sean I totally understand how our minds can be. Well done on pulling it together
Thanks Kate, I have woken up this morning with no worry at all. It's crazy as it's the first time in so so long. Perhaps yesterday did do something to me mentally that's helped me massively. I know it's going to be hard but feel positive. Worrying about other things apart from my health this morning as I am a naturally anxious person. It's like I HAVE to have something to worry about but maybe this CBT etc will help.
Felt amazing this morning and thought I was moving forward. Then on a call at work I sneezed and my anxiety has flooded back. Keep thinking the hernia has come back out. After 3 weeks do you think it would be a bit more stable. I am staying off google. It only hurt for a second.
Mate come on. I get pain in the gut if I sneeze and I've never had a hernia, let alone had surgery on one!
If the hernia came back out (which aint gonna happen) you would know about it and get it sorted.
Thanks Kate, I have been so good this morning and had nothing but positive thoughts. Then that happened and I just wanted to walk out of work.
It's silly because you cant help but sneezing and im sure surgery is done so that things liek that are not going to affect it. Just can't think logically. Do you think you would definately know about it if it pushed back out a bit?
Oh hell yeah. From what I've heard, it would be excruciating and last a damn sight more than a second
Sean, new rule from now. You need to post without finishing each post with a reassurance request. It's the small things keeping you in a bad place.
Sounds good, I really have got to work hard. Every niggle around my hernia is stressing me but I know deep down it would be painful if something happened. Cant wait for this CBT.
CBT won't be a golden bullet. You also have to really really want this, be prepared to challenge yourself and exercise discipline. All the motivation you need is in your photo and the children that your beautiful wife has created!
Keep it up mate we are behind you.
Thanks CPE, this site is a real lifeline and I do want it so so bad. This has got to be it now.
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