Motorway driving at night :-(

[Hellington Boots]

Hello lovely folk,

Just wanted to share a little problem I'm having and see if anyone else has had this experiance or can share any helpful tips.

I have been suffering with general anxiety with all sorts of aspects of my life for a few years now ( I have had CBT and counselling for quite long periods). Recently I have started to have very bad anxiety on the motorway. I have never been hugely comfortable on the motorway. However, I have driven on it very regularly without issue for the last ten years (almost every weekend), sometimes doing 150 mile round trips and I was always relatively Ok. In the last few weeks I have become extremely nervous, hardly able to go over 60mph, not wanting to change lanes and being what I would describe as 'hyper vigilant'. It's almost like I am waiting for something to happen and anticipating problems when they arent necessarily any. I break when i see breaklights ahead ( but i am talking way way ahead, not in front of me.)

Coming home from my parents last night (60 mile journey), it was completely dark on the M25 ( sections of it are unlit, without even any cats eyes on the road). There was one section where roadworks were being done and 2 lanes had been divided in to three - so all the drivers were very tightly packed in. I was really struggling with the lack of light and felt like i was being dazzled by the lights of the cars behind me, and i felt really panicky/dizzy and light headed like i could faint any minute. I was driving along this section for almost 30 minutes and was getting in such a state. I kept breaking and thinking cars were much nearer then they were, and my partner (broken foot so unable to drive) who was desperately trying to calm me down but keep us safe and help me through, told me repeatedly that actually we were really far from the cars and that everything was fine but I simply couldnt judge and really thought i was close.

When I got home I was in a terrible state and didnt stop shaking for hours( and I'm sure so was my poor partner, since he had to experience it too and frankly had no idea if i was in control and could carry on.) I was tense for so long in the car that today I feel exhausted and all my muscles are really painful, especially my hands and arms.

This is now the third time this has happened, but i feel this was the worst experience of the three. I cannot tell if it was the veil of anxiety suddenly creeping over me that made me feel i couldnt see clearly, or if i have an actual problem of another nature. I have just had my eyesight tested and it's fine, and i am fit and well in all other aspects. Is this just another area of my life where anxiety is taking over? I really dont know but i worry that I am a danger to myself and other people.

I am now in the dilemma where do I carry on with the driving and try and push through this? Or do i stop driving on the motorway? I dont want to add weight to this issue and give in to the anxiety, as well as limiting myself in this capacity but i dont want to risk being a danger to others and myself. I also dont understand why this has suddenly started out of the blue.. I have not witnessed any accidents or been involved in any so I really dont understand.

Any suggestions gratefully received.

xxx

[fedup36]

Hi Hellington,
O what a relief to read this, I get exactly the same thing! I often drive down the M40 to my parents, 3 hours in total and where there's no lights on the M40 I go into a state of panic! I get this horrible like wave of anxiety come over me and I start to get pressure in my head and start feeling really dizzy... Also I start to get really blinded by the lights and everything looks like huge stars!

One way I've learnt to distract myself is going a new way - I know it sounds silly but you have to focus on where your going which in turn distracts from the panic and anxiety...

Also if you listen to an audio book or a podcast that's good for distraction.. Not sure if this helps :) x

[Edie]

It is harder to judge distance and speed in the dark, because of the way our eyes are made. In people over 40 or so, it actually gets harder (not sure how old you are or whether this would apply to you anyway).

I know that some lane changes are necessary on the M25 due to the turnoffs on some stretches, but it's not actually necessary to overtake if you don't feel comfortable doing so. It's quite OK to sit behind a lorry without overtaking it. Lorries are restricted to 54mph, so being unable to exceed 60mph is just fine.

It might be worth having a couple of driving lessons on the motorway in the dark. I had a couple of lessons after having a car accident, and my instructor said that quite a few people do this. Although you haven't had an accident, you have had a knock to your confidence, so some driving lessons might help. My instructor was able to give me a few tips that just made me feel so much more confident about driving again. I mean, I'm still quite a nervous driver, but no longer to the point that it stops me going places any more.

I often find it helpful to listen to music quite loud when I'm driving. I find that loud music "fills my brain" and pushes the anxiety thoughts out, leaving me free to focus on driving. Everyone's different and for some people that would be a distraction from driving, but just an idea that might be worth a try.

[SarahH]

As I have got older (late 40's) I have noticed a change in my eyesight when drving at night and particularly on the motorway. It can be quite scary when it is pitch black no other cars then suddenly I feel like I cant see any road in front of me. Also sometimes the motorway can be anxiety inducing as you feel you cannot get off the road!

My cure for this has been to stop driving on the motorway at night:D ...simples

[yappie94]

i know its of subject abit but try putting on some glasses cause when i had this issue i found i got more scared and fearful cause i couldnt see cause of the lights and it kept triggering panic attacks for me ( if this makes sense ) and by wearing glasses its dims down passing cars lights but also makes my visibility way better and keeps me carm in the car. so worth a try

[cls1033]

I also know that feeling. when I drive at night feel very focused and it seems to mess with my eyes. when I start to notice it I start to get that funny feeling in my stomach. with other lights from cars also mess with my eyes. I have to drive certain routes that have places to pull over so I can collect my self. if I have to drive and there are no places to pull over if I need to I will start to feel trapped.

[Yorkie22]

Hi Hellington,
In the past Motorways were one of my main PA triggers...especially the M1! I used to feel trapped and would get the usual shallow breathing, dry mouth, tense muscles and over sensitive sight. It was unbearable at times, and I used to come off the motorway early or avoid them all together at times (both of which dont really help long term). I tried a few techniques to resolve the issue but it wasnt till I discovered CBT that I found something that worked well for me. I had a few sessions, including a 200 mile journey on the M1 with my therapist and it helped enormously. Now I drive all over the country and even tow a large caravan in the Summer, something I wouldnt have seen myself ever been able to do a few years ago! CBT may not work for everyone in this situation but I can certainly recommend you give it a try if you havent already. Message me if you want any further info. In any case please be assured that what you are experiencing is only temporary and with the right treatment can be resolved.
Good luck.
Yorkie.

[NorthernGeek]

I haven't driven for over 15 years now & just the thought of trying to get behind the wheel again makes me start to panic.

Apart from one very minor embarrassing bumper scrape with a parked car on a very narrow double parked street, I never had any accidents so it isn't due to any particular incidents either.

I used to live in London & stopped driving to work when my daily commute altered, but then after a while found that I had lost my confidence entirely & haven't driven since.

I never had any particular problems with motorways, but how on earth I ever managed the London South Circular in the rush hour is completely beyond me now!