Choosing Power Over Pain

[Tanner40]

This morning I am choosing my own power over pain and suffering. I am choosing my power to view the world and my circumstances differently. I am choosing my power not to react to my morning anxiety symptoms. I am choosing my power not to blow small symptoms out of proportion. I am choosing to relax and accept that my sickness this morning is merely anxiety. And I am choosing to believe that anxiety can't hurt me.

I don't want to feel like a victim, like all of this is happening to me. I have been the one that has created my own anxiety and continually allowed it to rule my life. I have been the one in charge. Today I am going to be in charge again. After all, who can be in charge of my life other than me? I intend ti take charge today and accept what happens. The more I do this, the easier it will become. At least that's what I'm told, and I'm going to choose to believe that.

What are you going to do to be in control of your own life today? How are you going to take charge?

[skippy66]

Excellent post. You're nearly there Tanner…

[MrAndy]

im going to take charge by going to gregs at lunchtime and buy everyone at work doughnuts :D Today is going to be an anxiety free day, in fact anxiety can take a vacation for a while :winks:

[Tanner40]

Thanks Skippy. That means a lot coming from you.

Thanks for sharing Mr.Andy. Doughnuts do sound good and it will start your work day off on a positive note. I hope your anxiety stays on vacation.

[cpe1978]

Loving this post Tanner! Today I have focused hard on a job that I love and am exceptionally lucky to have but since HA kicked in have only been working at 50%. Now working full throttle!

[Tanner40]

Awesome post, CPE. Sounds like you took a bit of your life back today. I'm sure that felt great to be working full throttle. Enjoy the moment that you created!

[TooMuchToLiveFor]

Wow- just ran across this post after doing a search for "morning anxiety." It was so good that I wanted to give it a bump. I know I won't be the only one that benefits from reading it.
Well done, Tanner!

(Also, it is clear to see why you are braving your current storm so well.....you are a strong and courageous person!)

[Tanner40]

Too Much, no one needed to read this post this morning more than I did. Hard to believe that I wrote this six weeks ago and this morning, I am struggling a bit and so, this morning I am going to choose my power and my control over trying to figure out what these morning symptoms are. So my scalp has a spot that is tingling and I am sweating. So what! It's anxiety and it can't hurt me.
So I am tired and nauseous. So what! It's anxiety and it can't hurt me. So my stomach hurts and my ribs hurt. So what! It's anxiety and it can't hurt me.
I'm not going to react to the circumstances that arise today. I am going to be in charge of my reactions and my emotions. I will not be a victim.
I'm going to pay special attention to my victories - no matter how small they may be.

Thanks for bumping this Too Much! Like I said, no one needed to read it more than me.

[TooMuchToLiveFor]

Oh, yay! There was something deep inside telling me that it might be really empowering for you to hear what your strong, inner voice was telling you not too long ago. :)

I am also still struggling big time. After each day getting a little better last week, and then a great day on Tuesday- I seem to be going downhill. Each day has been a bit worse, and yesterday I had actual moments of panic swelling up, but I managed to keep them at bay. This morning was escalating quickly, so I am back here trying to refocus.

I know all these feelings are "only" anxiety (adrenaline), and I am "accepting and floating" the best I know how....., but letting time pass while feeling so horrendous....how do we actually do it? I think I am just a bit lost on how to put into action the tools that I know are the key.

[Tanner40]

Ypou couldn't have been more right, Too Much. I definitely needed to read that today. Sorry to hear that the past week has been a bit rough for you. I think the key for me is to realize that everyone (even people without anxiety disorders) have patches of bad days. They just don't give them quite the significance that we tend to. And your Dragon wants to be significant. Acknowledged. Empowered. Doted on.
The key for me is to say pshaw. Dragon, you are a nobody. You're a has been. This is one of your final performances in a B Grade Movie. No voting for Oscar nominations for outstanding actress award.
Do not give it the attention that it seeks. The fire of the dragon needs you to stoke it and give it fuel. Otherwise it becoes a baby dragon that has no power.
I wrote a post somewhere about a trip to Atlanta and the tool chest that I packed. Maybe you will find that helpful. Maybe you need to put together your own Dragon slaying kit.

[TooMuchToLiveFor]

Thank you, Tanner. :)

Okay, here's to small victories today......we should check in and post them here as they happen- the day before us has yet to unfold. Let's make it be full of good choices and positive thinking.

[Tanner40]

You got it. Small victories posted here throughout the day. I like the idea!

[TooMuchToLiveFor]

I got my four year old fed a healthy breakfast, and got my baby her first bottle of the day (although my hands are shaking so badly I got formula everywhere trying to get the powder in the bottle).

Got my Ensure down and took my Sertraline.

Your turn! :)

[mermaid]

Hi I would like to join this positive thread!

Bad few days and had to resort to diazepam yesterday. Woke up stomach churning and mind chatter. The decided to go swimming for the first time in years! Managed it all and now feel exhausted but I did it!

Mermaid

[Tanner40]

Took a wonderful, hot shower with Caswell Massey fig soap. Made it back to the hospital to stay with my Dad and trying not to let Mt brothers negativity get to me.

[Leslie735]

Great post!!! :) Have a great day Tanner!

[TooMuchToLiveFor]

Mermaid- Welcome to this thread! Good for you on the swim!

Tanner- Congrats on the shower! How long are you at the hospital today? As you are having to deal with your negative brother maybe it will help to think how miserable he must actually be to live with such negativity. Every minute at the hospital you stay in a healthy place with yourself is a success to be noted!

[flossy74]

Hope it's ok to join in?

I have managed to not poke my sore bits all day and am feeling much calmer.

Tanner you are showing such amazing Grace and courage, it is really awe inspiring !
Well done everyone every little helps. :)
X

[Tanner40]

Thanks Flossy. I left my Dad in the care of the hospital staff and had a nice 30 minute break.

[TooMuchToLiveFor]

Hey All!

I managed to get all of our Christmas decor (we looked a bit like Santa's workshop :) ) boxed so my husband can move it all out to storage. Yay! House is still a wreck, but......wait, no. No, no, no. I am listing successes here-- wow, see how easily negative thoughts creep in? Caught ya!

Tanner- how are doing symptom-wise? Are they easing at all as the day goes on? Mornings are the worst for me for sure.

[mermaid]

How is everyone doing today?

Been for a walk with my dog even though it's cold and wet!

Also came up with a survival guide for my return to work tomorrow knowing that when I have got through it I will feel much better.

Mermaid

[Tanner40]

Doing okay Mermaid. Today, I have written in my journal, which is always good for me. Getting ready to do some posting on NMP for about thirty minutes, and then head to the hospital.

[mermaid]

Hello how's everyone doing today?

I survived my first day back at work yayyyyy! Cheated a little and had 2mg diazepam before I went because anxiety levels sky high but I did it!

Mermaid

[mermaid]

Managed work again today and felt ok. No diazepam either.

How is everyone?

Mermaid

[TooMuchToLiveFor]

Well done, Mermaid!!! :yesyes:

[Tanner40]

Very well done, Mermaid. Fantastic on your first two days back at work.