View Full Version : Hernia operation
Hi,
Having a bit of a bad morning but getting there. As some know I had my hernia op 3 weeks and 2 days ago. When I went to the doctors on Monday he said the area is healing fine but I have just looked at it from a new angle with me standing up and a bump is there. I know the healing ridge is normal but this lump looks smaller. Could it be where it's simply healing or should I see doctor again. The pain is no more than normal although it was a bit tender last night.
Hello :)
You had the wound checked two days ago and it was fine. The chances of there being problems with the wound this far on after the operation are pretty small and the chances of one developing since Monday are fairly minuscule I would imagine. You can afford to wait and use distraction. My husband had major heart surgery seven years ago and after the operation he had ongoing problems with the wound being infected. Believe me, you would know about it. Sorry if this is tmi, but his wound smelled bad and was weeping pus. He had a fever with it. It took a while to get under control but he was fine in the end. A would being tender and changing appearance as it heals is normal :)
Thanks cattia, feels like the op really has made my health anxiety ten times worse. It's the fact that it's a bump there and a hernia has same effect so starts me off thinking about it coming back again. The wound looks fine just seeing it from a new angle made me think about if it's changed or not.
Sean my friend,
You have got to let it go. You are doing very well in that you have become very self aware and know what you need to do but you are still stressing on at least a daily basis.
Limit yourself to giving the wound a quick check just once a day, no more. If it becomes bad in between, then trust me, it will let you know!
Sean,
C'mon man... don't let this little niggle get you started. Read what you wrote again. You "looked at it from a new angle". Really?... You're fine! You're healing! You're looking at a scar with "scar tissue" Besides, our bodies are not made of smooth porcelain and have bumps that are not hernias! You had your's fixed and they didn't sew you up with sewing thread. ;)
Buck up Sean... You're simply healing.
Positive thoughts
Im okay with that worry now but without thinking at work I dragged a small seat along a few meters and now worried I could have done damage- Ive had to leave work as was so upset. What is wrong with me
Sean,
I've decided to add this because I'm getting concerned about you. You seem to be on self destruct.
Look I genuinely feel for you. You are clearly in a very bad and distressed place and nobody deserves to feel like that.
But the unfortunate and unchangeable fact is that there is no magic that will suddenly make you wake up tomorrow and be "normal". Even CBT, as excellent as it can be (and which, to your credit, you have sought out and are waiting to get) requires a LOT of work on our part.
People like myself and CP who are in the midst of the recovery process still get the fears and niggles that you get. But we have to force ourselves, time and time again, to not give in to them and carry on with our day. Do you think CP, who saw his dad get a nearly terminal illness at his age doesn't feel terrified when he has symptoms that to his mind, could indicate the same disease? Of course he does but as he has resolved to beat health anxiety, he makes himself get on with it and stop feeding the cycle - through nothing but sheer force of will.
Fishmanpa doesn't have health anxiety but despite his positive attitude, do you imagine he wasn't afraid when he was waiting for his appointment to find out whether his cancer had come back? But somehow, even until the day of his appointment he was living his life, even coming on here to give help and support to the people of this board.
What I'm trying to say is that we all get scared. That's ok - it sucks, it's unpleasant but it's ok. But how we manage those fears is what is truly important. We can give in to them, wallow in despair and freak the hell out or we can say "OK. I'm going to accept my fear but carry on with my life." It's hard but it gets easier every single time we do it and eventually, it will become the new normal for us.
If we choose to give in to it, then we risk looking back at ourselves in 50 years time and cursing ourselves for fools to have wasted our youth, our years of health, for risking our relationships and well being.
You are a bright, articulate healthy young man who just had to have a minor and routine operation. You have a gorgeous wife and children. You have absolutely no reason in the world to believe that you are in any danger of any serious illness.
What you are in danger of is mental exhaustion, wasting precious time and spiralling un-endingly in to the depressing cycle of health anxiety.
We are all here for you Sean. We all care about you and will support you every step of the way. But you really need to push yourself now
I am determained to get better but finding it hard. I do feel on a self destruct mission. Do you think moving a seat round at work would cause anything. I did not carry- more dragged it. There was no pain. In fact pushing a door probably causes more strain do you think?
I edited my post before you answered I think Sean.
NO YOU DID NOT CAUSE ANYTHING!
Hon, really. Ask your doctor and he will back me up - if there was something wrong with it you would know about it.
I'm not doing reassurance anymore now Sean. It is not helping you at all.
I am determained to get better but finding it hard. I do feel on a self destruct mission. Do you think moving a seat round at work would cause anything. I did not carry- more dragged it. There was no pain. In fact pushing a door probably causes more strain do you think?
Sometimes no answer IS an answer....
Positive thoughts
You need to understand that reassurance is not helping you and ending each post with a reassurance seeking question is not helping either.
Willous as Katesa said we all have niggles and worries but you have to try and rise above them.I'm having a rubbish day terrible knee pain and now back,just had some osto treatment and its onwards and upwards well maybe sideways sometimes. Take care pleasant thoughts. Simi
Okay, that's got to be it now.
Just read through your message Kate and I agree with it all and appreciate you taken your time, I really do. I am on self destruct but going to force myself tonight to occupy myself. I need to get out of this cycle. Like you said, i do not want to look back in years to come knowing I've wasted my life. I'm going to push myself now for me and my family plus everyone here that has taken the time to support me.
Okay, that's got to be it now.
Just read through your message Kate and I agree with it all and appreciate you taken your time, I really do. I am on self destruct but going to force myself tonight to occupy myself. I need to get out of this cycle. Like you said, i do not want to look back in years to come knowing I've wasted my life. I'm going to push myself now for me and my family plus everyone here that has taken the time to support me.
:yesyes:
Well done Sean, you're back in the room with us!
This may sound a silly question but I'm going to ask it anyway since you are in your right mind again and can answer rationally.
When you have future episodes (and you will, we will all do) what sort of response from us do you believe will best help you? (if you say reassurance over and over I will disagree although I am happy to reassure once per "episode").
---------- Post added at 16:17 ---------- Previous post was at 16:17 ----------
its onwards and upwards well maybe sideways sometimes. T
I think you just described the HA journey to recovery in one sentence! :D
Good question Kate and to be honest I do like the hard line approach telling me I'm being an idiot ha.
This is not going to sound good but I've just gone to see a new doctor. But that's it now. I'm banning myself from doctors because it's doing me know good. He said it looks fine and when I asked if moving a seat could damage it he replied with 'unlikely' then I broke down as I was expecting him to say no. I asked him what heavy lifting was and he said things that would normally be heavy to lift. I need to get a grip.
Ah Sean. One thing I've learned is that doctors never give absolute yes or no answers. They daren't in this sue-happy culture.
I know I kind of asked this earlier before editing my post, but I really want you to think about this question for me now. What are you so afraid of? I know, you're scared of getting your wound infected/having the hernia pop back out. But why? Given that it is such an easily treatable issue with blatant warning symptoms, why are you so afraid of it?
I'm actually not sure, that's the really odd thing about it and it sounds stupid. Maybe the fear of the unknown or fact I would have to go through all this again. I just feel so fragile at the moment. I fear having to have another operation most as even though I got through it, the operation terrified me completely. I understand the reason why he said unlikely as we live in a sue happy culture. This sounds stupid but before I left work I kept moving the seat slightly to see how heavy or light it was and probably moved it more than the original time which is pathetic. I'm. Shadow of my former self Kate. I used to be the live and soul of places and people could not shut me up. I used to go to watch football, used to have a beer with mates etc but I don't do that anymore. I literally love crystal palace ha and used to go all the time. I haven't been since June and even that was ruined due to anxiety. Sorry to go on but I am so aware that I need to fight this. I also need to understand doctors are not necessarily mental health experts either.
It's ok Sean. See, you're getting somewhere!
I know that in CBT (and CP, who has more experience than me will surly butt in if I am wrong) they would ask you to question why are you so afraid. Imagine the worst case scenario and think about how you would deal with it.
In this instance, lets for example take the "scared of having the operation again" reason. So, imagine you do have to have it again. Ok, that sucks. But you've had it before and you survived, even if you behaved like a panicky pillock. So, worst case scenario, you have it done again, you behave like a panicky pillock again, you survive again (and buy your wife a big bunch of flowers)
And another question now. Why aren't you doing the things you enjoy anymore? Is it because you suspect you will "miss something" if you are caught off guard? Is it lack of self belief? Again, what is it you are afraid of?
to be honest I do like the hard line approach telling me I'm being an idiot ha.
Well then... stop being an idiot or we'll kick your ass! ;)
Seriously though.... you can do this. There was a glimmer of light a little while back and we all got to see a side of you that was pretty cool. Personally, I'd like to see more of that!
Positive thoughts!
Ok as Kate has invited me to butt in I will give you my thoughts. I find it interesting reading different people's experiences of CBT. Often people will talk in terms of exercises which for me I suppose is part of it, but actually the part of CBT that seems to be helping me is analysing the process that leads to anxiety.
I have done this is quite some detail and have started to understand how I might come to terms with this. The first point is that anxiety is normal, everyone has worries from time to time and that is ok. The second point is to understand the process of being anxious and the components of that process. In that process there are things we can't control and there are things we can, with probably the greatest being the way we react. The hope is that if you alter your reaction and behaviours (the bits you can control) then the bits you can't will fall into place behind.
The second strategy I am looking at is imagining the worst case, what it is that I am so afraid of. My therapist asked me to write down my nightmare scenario. To give you an indication by the time I had finished reading it out, she was in tears. We then challenged my beliefs around this and challenged irrational thought processes. I also recorded it to my phone and have been listening to it again and again for the past ten days. Again, the hope is that the nightmare scenario becomes boring.
Overall I am starting to feel better. I still have annoying physical symptoms in the most incredibly achy legs and arms, but I am able to rationalise those things. Firstly by acknowledging they came on after I was anxious which provides a logical stimulus, but also my reaction to the stimulus is far less violent and it is that reaction that started a decline.
I don't feel the need to ask for reassurance which is a big step, although strangely I found myself googling this afternoon to find out what might be causing it. Who knows, but I am enjoying getting weekly sports massage which seems to help and I am reasonably content to accept that it is brain created as a result of a hyper anxious brain for so long.
I don't know what has made me feel better and I am far from there. I have significant wobbles, but overall the trajectory is positive. I am not sure I attribute it all to CBT and I don't know how I would have progressed without it and whether the tincture of time would be enough. However I do think that CBT has forced me to be more analytical and reflective and consider how I can positively change my behaviour to improve things.
I also notice that my time here now is spent in the main trying to support other people (not always successfully) but again this is a huge market of progress in my eyes.
Not sure if this is the sort of input you were looking for a out CBT but happy to share my experience
Thanks Kate, I suppose worst case senario is not the worst thing ever and I have not got a life threatening illness. Therefore why do I act like this. My son just held my hand and jumped up on the the sofa so now I've gone onto the fear something happened to hernia and the seat thing at work means nothing now. My brain must hate me if that makes sense.
The reason I don't do things anymore is because nothing makes me happy and I just want to be on my sofa or in my flat so I can just be my myself or with my family. I have tried to go out and did half enjoy my stag do lol.
Thanks CPE and Fishmanpa, read your posts after writing this and have responded below
Just read through your messages CPE and Fishmanpa.
Thank you CPE, that info is so handy and thanks for taking your time to write that. I'm going to give it a go and hope it gets me on the right track. I need to force myself to stop looking for reassurance straight away.
I'm going to save your post and try them tips.
And thanks Fishmanpa, that's what I need ha
Maybe I can shed some light by relating a personal experience.
CP, something you said struck a nerve and that was "maybe it will get boring"
I don't have HA but I do worry and get anxious. Hell, I literally have a 50/50 chance of my cancer returning in the next 18 months! I could let it consume me or choose to ignore it and live each day as a blessing. I choose the latter.
When I think of what CP said, it brings to mind a few heartbreaks I've had in my life. My first big one being my first real love and the demise of that relationship which was due to infidelity.
For several years it consumed me in my early twenties. I felt hatred, heart break and a plethora of emotions that never relented. Much the same as your HA worries. When I would think about it, my heart would race and I'd get that same panicky feeling as if it happened that day. It was awful!
Eventually, it started to just be a pain in the ass. I thought less and less about it, and moved on. New girlfriends, fun times and living life. It got to a point where I actually couldn't remember how it felt when it happened. Don't get me wrong, I remember it happened but I couldn't recall the feelings and it didn't affect me anymore.
That seems to be what CBT is doing for some of you. It's a mindset to take concerning your health worries. Eventually, what HA is doing to you will become such a PITA that you'll push it to the wayside and move one. You'll forget how afraid you were just like I forgot how hurt I was.
May you all learn to put this beast called HA behind you and stop chasing the wind. Many blessings to all on this Thanksgiving :)
Positive thoughts
semper solus
27-11-13, 18:29
Hiya
I had an open surgery hernia operation 2 years ago and all is well. I have lumps around the surgery area and was told when I went for my check up it's just muscle.
I do get the odd twinge every now and again when I do strenuous work and it has not damaged me in any way. If you had open surgery then they would have used mesh which is very strong stuff and blends in with your muscles.
You really have nothing to worry about it's all about healing up and getting on with your life.
Life is like one big party!!! It's just knowing when to leave :)
Nik
Thanks for your replies,
Fishmanpa, I love your posts Nd thought goes into them. I have so much respect for you....giving your time to help others when you have your own things going on.
Thanks for your replies,
Fishmanpa, I love your posts Nd thought goes into them. I have so much respect for you....giving your time to help others when you have your own things going on.
Thanks Sean... I believe in paying it forward. It truly is my hope that you and others take the advice given to you and beat the beast, stay on and help others. Cause I gotta tell ya, it gets exhausting when ya'll don't listen!! And if it's exhausting to me, it's gotta be ten times more so for those afflicted!
Positive thoughts
Hi everyone, Have been having a much better day today. Just a silly one though. I was sitting down and realised my belt was on tight. Now im paranoid. Could it off been just above repair and popped it out. If it did would it have happened then as I would have noticed or could it do damage over time.
---------- Post added at 17:47 ---------- Previous post was at 16:14 ----------
Really sorry but panicking
---------- Post added at 18:59 ---------- Previous post was at 17:47 ----------
Does anyone think this could have caused a problem
I really hope for your sake Sean that no one replies to this. I mean it in the nicest possible way.
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