phil6
27-11-13, 14:48
I am at present not on any meds and doing the best I can trying to accept the way I am at the moment. Good days and bad days. Usually bad early mornings, waking very early and struggling with my thoughts in the dark.
There is definitely two modes of thinking in me. When I am feeling OK with no anxious symptoms, I can't relate at all to the worries I struggle with when I feel anxious.
I worked all my life and have had to face a lot of my fears and insecurities throughout a long career (over 40 years). I feared public speaking, travelling and staying away from home for periods, a little social anxiety, etc etc. I avoided very little and often soldiered through and found some relief when I got through situations. But it always felt that someone else was in control of my life... Not me.
Now I am retired.
I don't have to do any of these things any more unless I choose to. What a relief! Yet I still worry about them. Should I be able to do things like those mentioned even if it is extremely unlikely I will ever have to.
When I wake with anxiety, I think about doing these things and if I try to reassure myself that I no longer have to, but I t feels like avoidance when I think this way.
Because I don't actually have these stresses now, my mind seems to be continuously looking for something to stress over. I seem to be worrying all the time about situations that don't exist anymore.
Am I cheating if I tell myself I can forget about all the stuff I used to have to do?
Am I avoiding if I say no to taking on new responsibilities now and stick to a quiter life. I am confused.
Also, when trying to accept when feeling anxious.... Thoughts as well as feelings, I sometimes start to feel OK. Then for some reason I feel that I have not dealt properly with the anxiety.... Sort of not resolved the anxiety, and so start looking for it so I can accept it properly.. Do you know what I mean.
This anxiety is all about faulty thinking, and this is the part that I need to get straight in my head. I know all this probably sound stupid. Why worry about things that don't exist any more. I think I need some reassuring thoughts to hang on to when i get a bad day.... Most days at the moment!
Phil
There is definitely two modes of thinking in me. When I am feeling OK with no anxious symptoms, I can't relate at all to the worries I struggle with when I feel anxious.
I worked all my life and have had to face a lot of my fears and insecurities throughout a long career (over 40 years). I feared public speaking, travelling and staying away from home for periods, a little social anxiety, etc etc. I avoided very little and often soldiered through and found some relief when I got through situations. But it always felt that someone else was in control of my life... Not me.
Now I am retired.
I don't have to do any of these things any more unless I choose to. What a relief! Yet I still worry about them. Should I be able to do things like those mentioned even if it is extremely unlikely I will ever have to.
When I wake with anxiety, I think about doing these things and if I try to reassure myself that I no longer have to, but I t feels like avoidance when I think this way.
Because I don't actually have these stresses now, my mind seems to be continuously looking for something to stress over. I seem to be worrying all the time about situations that don't exist anymore.
Am I cheating if I tell myself I can forget about all the stuff I used to have to do?
Am I avoiding if I say no to taking on new responsibilities now and stick to a quiter life. I am confused.
Also, when trying to accept when feeling anxious.... Thoughts as well as feelings, I sometimes start to feel OK. Then for some reason I feel that I have not dealt properly with the anxiety.... Sort of not resolved the anxiety, and so start looking for it so I can accept it properly.. Do you know what I mean.
This anxiety is all about faulty thinking, and this is the part that I need to get straight in my head. I know all this probably sound stupid. Why worry about things that don't exist any more. I think I need some reassuring thoughts to hang on to when i get a bad day.... Most days at the moment!
Phil