ocd thought process?

[princesspanic]

Hello guys having a bit of a tough time, just wondering if anyone can relate to this, instead of saying how I feel and what's worrying me I'm just guna write down my thought process as I'm getting really worried that its just me and I'm an evil person deep down....

Would I do that to someone?
I can tell myself I don't like it but does that mean I really don't?
(Imagine a scene in my head) am I liking this?
Does this thought give me any satisfaction?
Omg it is!
That must mean I really am going to do it!
I don't think I do really want to but why am I feeling differently when I think about it?
Am I liking these thoughts?
Am I liking that bad scene from that programme or movie?
Does it give me pleasure to think of these things?
Am I going to end up doing this one day?
Omg! I don't know if I will or not but I don't think I want to!
Am I making myself think these things now on purpose because I actually want to?
How is it making me feel when I see someone getting harmed?
My thoughts are telling me I like it but this scares me because I don't want to like it!
I'm not sure how I really feel anymore!
I feel like I'm changing or maybe I was always like this and just realised!
I think of all the mistakes and hurtful things I may have done in the past and think maybe I done all that because I'm a bad person?
And the questioning goes on and on...........

Anyone else think this way?

[hallam11]

Oh blimey, bless you. Cant speak for anyone else but pretty much every sentence has got a huge tick by the side of it from me! Those thoughts have ran through my mind - im doing better these days and tend to let them wash over me but I would think they are common thoughts for those with ocd,obsessional thoughts/ intrusive thoughts.
I cant give you reassurance because trust me it doesn't work, or if it does its for like 2 seconds and then you think"well maybe they're wrong" or they don't know me so that may be true for other ocd sufferers but not me.

That's how I used to get around reassurance anyway. Stay strong, im starting a course online called cbt4 . And also looking at mindfulness,done a little on it before and it helped. Want to look into it more so if im in a situation I will remember it! X

[carlleo123]

yep describes my thought processes perfectly, along with not knowing if I want to do it or not, or whether I love the people my thoughts are aimed at, those are the two that really get to me