relapse - what's going on with me

[danj]

Hi Everyone,

Am having my first major period of anxiety / panic for about four years.

Over the years I have had a lot of different types of anxiety and panic and during the last major bout (4 years ago), I started starting Citalopram 20mg which I am still taking now.

My life is pretty busy and stressful but I thought I was managing it well. Then I went and bought a puppy (with my wife) and for some reason it has thrown me over edge. Now I am waking up with anxiety everyday, struggling to get up and go to work, finding virtually all situations fear inducing and that every day is a fight. This all started about a week ago.

My symptoms are:

1. feeling shaky
2. teary and depressed / sad
3. frequent waves of fear
4. occasional tingling in fingers
5. loss of appetite

Thing I am trying to do to support myself:

1. seeing my therapist more
2. still taking the citalopram
3. exercise (just did a 20 mins run)
4. baths
5. breathing / meditation

I run a business with staff relying on me and it was already struggling so am scared it's all going to fall apart.

A couple of side points:

a. I don't feel this really fits in with general anxiety, maybe these are just boxes
b. Often the anxiety comes in the form of strange energy sensations in my body (often in my head), they are are to describe. Anyone know what I am talking about?

Sorry for all the randomness here, I guess I'm looking for support, suggestions, ideas.

Thanks

Dan

[Jebdog]

Hi Dan,

I'm in a similar boat. 3 years on normality and then the anxiety/dep has hit back. Are you on any medication? What helped in the past?

Jeb.

[Tanner40]

Hey Dan, sounds like you are doing all of the right things to take back control of your life and your emotions. Sometimes the smallest things can set us off and cause a bad week or so. A change in routine, such as a new puppy, can be a stressor. Just keep doing the things that you have planned and all will be fine.

[danj]

Hi Jeb - I have been on 20mg of citalopram for the past 4 years. All the things I have listed have helped in the past. Just really hard, frustrating etc to be back in this place again.


Hi Dan,

I'm in a similar boat. 3 years on normality and then the anxiety/dep has hit back. Are you on any medication? What helped in the past?

Jeb.

---------- Post added at 22:25 ---------- Previous post was at 22:23 ----------

thanks for the encouragement!


Hey Dan, sounds like you are doing all of the right things to take back control of your life and your emotions. Sometimes the smallest things can set us off and cause a bad week or so. A change in routine, such as a new puppy, can be a stressor. Just keep doing the things that you have planned and all will be fine.

[Kate 1956]

Hello Danj, Unfortunately it's the nature of this illness, it comes and goes like a tide coming in and out. It will go again, its just a set back. Awfully disappointing to you, but only a setback. The less you think of I the less symptoms you'll have. I know from experience how hard this is to do, but try. Also, daily breathing in a particular way helps in to a count of 7 and out to a count of 11. Good Luck.
"This too will pass" X

[nursegreenwhippet]

I can tell you that getting a puppy is a big deal - like having a baby, all that responsibility and relaxation time spent with a crazy pup. I know this happens a lot as I take puppy classes and do canine behaviour, lots of my clients suddenly feel tied down, tired and didn't expect the impact it makes. I myself go into a massive panic period every time we have had a puppy - or a baby! It settles down once you get used to it and when the puppy settles into a routine. I would totally expect someone like us to react like this x

[pas74]

Hi Danj, so sorry to hear about your setback. I am new to full on anxiety and have been struggling for a few months but now seem to be making progress. After losing my appetite, and a subsequent half a stone in weight, this has returned to a degree. I find breathing exercises and focusing on the present really helpful to reign in those galloping, negative thoughts and what ifs.

I do wonder though where I would be without my dog. He's not the most cuddly canine but does like to curl up with me. He also demands at the very least one daily walk which gets me out of the house in all weathers. I am sure you are doing all the right things for yourself and once your pup has learnt the ropes he/she will be just as great a friend and comforter as my lad is to me.

Best wishes, Trish

[Rennie1989]

Do not get angry with yourself for relapsing. It is very common to relapse when recovering from anxiety. It sounds like certain life styles may have triggered it so it may be helpful to sit down, write down what is stressful or anxiety provoking, and see what changes can be made to help reduce the anxiety.

Remember that you did it before, so you can do it again :)

[Jebdog]

Hi Dan,

Do you think the stresses of work may have played a part? Not to question the role of the puppy but it does sound like you have a fairly intense job.

Jeb.

[danj]

Hi Jeb

I think the work stress is the main problem but somehow I had been keeping the lid on it. Getting the puppy has sent me over the edge...

Dan

---------- Post added at 16:08 ---------- Previous post was at 13:06 ----------

10 days of suffering now :(

Maybe I should up my citalopram dose from 20-30mg?

[Rennie1989]

Never increase medication dosage without speaking to your doctor first.

[danj]

I would not up my dosage without a consultation with my doctor. my experience with my doctor is that she asks what I think and we make a joint decision therefore I am trying to decide what I think is the best solution.

[Rennie1989]

That's fair enough. Have a think about it, remember that medication is harder to get off on a higher dose, but it could help give you a push to recovery again. Weigh up the pros and cons before deciding.

[Jebdog]

A temporary increase might help, as Rennie says important to discuss with your GP. But it doesn't seem a completely unreasonable suggestion.

How has your week been so far Dan?