Just don't know anymore

[wilsano]

Hi all.

Since the beginning of my relationship I used to obsess over if my gf loved me or if she would cheat on me Etc. It went on for ages up until summer. When my thoughts just suddenly started thinking we were falling out of love for no reason I had anxiety attacks in work, constantly looking for reassurance.

These thoughts still haunt me. I've been thinking them that long they have become statements. Like 'you don't love her' 'dump her'

I don't want to think this it's depressing me I can't enjoy anything I always expect the worst of things. I'm so down all the time. I done even know if I experience anxiety anymore I don't know anything I'm just turning in a circle in this empty space. There is days when it clears and I can enjoy it then. BOOM! It's back. I constantly look online trying to find answers I'm just so down about it.

I've gad to fight urges to break up. Help please.

[danj]

does your rational self feel the same way?

it's usually not good to make big decisions from a place of anxiety.

Sometimes we can project our feelings onto the people around us, I don't know you at all or if this is the case, I would highly suggest finding a therapist.

Dan

[wilsano]

No when I have clear days I know I love her. Most days are riddled with these thoughts. I've been to a therapist for the get to know stage. It's like once I knew she loved me I stopped worrying about that. It's as if it was thinking you don't worry about that you don't love her and it went on from there it makes me feel miserable.

[worried 101]

i swear this is becoming more and more of an issue with so many of us...are you aware of something called rocd? relationship ocd. I certainly have it and there are many others out there with it. if you havent heard of it then let me know and ill give you some more info.

[wilsano]

Yeah worried. I've heard of it. I'm so tired of it it makes me feel like I don't love or want to be with my girlfriend makes me think I want to break up but I don't. I've had these thoughts so long it doesn't make really anxious more down and sad. It's like I've been thinking it so long I'm starting to believe it.

[worried 101]

can completely relate and ive just got engaged!its the worst feeling in the world and hits you like a tonne of bricks. Its unbeleivably tiring, and it is hard to keep track of your real thought and the ones that arent true.
I think the only thing we can do is ride through these times as best we can and when they are over and are true thought are there, bottle them, so when these horrible intrusive thoughts come back we can try to tell ourselves its not true. easier said than done I know.

[wilsano]

I know I'm so depressed because of it. It doesn't cause me the churning stomach like it did before that's why I think what if this is real and I think about it 24/7. I can't even bring myself to be intimate my mind tells me I want to be with other people but I don't.
I'm tired of this I just want to be happy with my gf.

[Rennie1989]

No when I have clear days I know I love her.

Here you go. You know that you love her when there's no anxiety. The anxiety is making you doubt. Remind yourself, when the anxiety rises, to say 'I know I love her. The anxiety is making me doubt' and keep thinking positively. I know how hard it is to ignore the doubt, but the more you remind yourself that you're both fine the easier it gets.

How long have you two been together for?

[wilsano]

We've been together 2 years just there and I've been experiencing this for aground 6 months it depressing me to the point I can't be bothered being intimate. My mind constantly telling me I'm wasting my time when I know I love her :(

It takes all the feeling away I'm just like a heartless brick.