Back again, feel worse than ever

[Laura1989]

Hi all, I haven't been on the forum in absolute months, feels nice to be back in a funny sort of way!

I first of need to start by apologising to everyone I lost contact with earlier this year, Oh_no and BobbyDog to name just 2.

I have retreated within myself over the last few months, due to a lot of home life stress and work stress all at the same time. So here I am again.

I start a new job on Monday, it's something I have always wanted to do, which is work and care for children with special needs. But I am worried as I can't shake off this stress and insane mood swings I am having. The mood swings are the worst. I blow up at the tiniest little thing at the moment. The worst part is, I know I am doing it and it's wrong, but I can't help myself :(

I have been back to the Doctors and they want to see how I get on this next couple of weeks, when I have changed jobs and got settled in before they look at helping me in some way.

I'm worried about the possibility of medication again, it really helped last time I was ill, but it was so hard getting on them, and extremely hard to get off them. I don't know if I want to repeat that again :(

[Tanner40]

Welcome back Laura. Try not to be so hard on yourself, as we humans tend to become irritable under stress. You know that you're in good company here!

[BobbyDog]

We have all really missed you Laura, we would love to see you again when you feel up to it.

Medication

The medication helped you get through some very difficult times, it helped you get through each day, it gave you the breathing space you needed and allowed you to reflect on what was going wrong in your life. It reduced your depression and anxiety and made you feel calm and in control. It is really difficult coping with the side effects when starting and ending medication, you have to way up the pros and cons. I seem to remember you saying that your GP was very supportive, talk your concerns through with him again.

I have been in a similar situation myself, snapping at those I love and worse. Sometimes I felt as though someone was tightening a screw in my back, tighter and tighter. I have also felt the constant guilt of snapping at those I love, which just escalates the feelings of depression and anxiety.

I hope the new job lifts your spirits.

love sarah.x

[Laura1989]

Thank you Sarah, I am hoping to come to a meet in the New Year and see you all again!

I didn't manage to see the GP i dealt with before, but this new one was very understanding and i felt able to talk to him honestly, even though he is a man (my other Doctor was a woman!) He wants me back in to talk to him sometime next week and see how i'm doing.

i think i have just got so bogged down with everything, it is taking its toll on me and i don't know what to do with myself to cope with it. Last time i was like this, it was because of something that had happened to me, whereas this time, i don't feel its directly related to one or two things so its scaring me a little bit!

[oh no_1]

Hi Laura,
Lovely to hear from you!
you have been greatly missed. :)

Yeah I am not on any medication but i defo need some so waiting to see what happens. So we will be in it together. The pros and cons of them bring to my mind too but if they help us then we may have to deal with cons such as side effects for a short while. Struggling myself, some how going to work. Good Luck in the new job you will be fab! Bogged down with everything seems the same to me too.
got a xmas card and prezzie for u! :) :)
Thinking of you.

[BobbyDog]

Thank you Sarah, I am hoping to come to a meet in the New Year and see you all again!

I didn't manage to see the GP i dealt with before, but this new one was very understanding and i felt able to talk to him honestly, even though he is a man (my other Doctor was a woman!) He wants me back in to talk to him sometime next week and see how i'm doing.

i think i have just got so bogged down with everything, it is taking its toll on me and i don't know what to do with myself to cope with it. Last time i was like this, it was because of something that had happened to me, whereas this time, i don't feel its directly related to one or two things so its scaring me a little bit!

At least you can talk to your GP and get it all out in the open, that is half the battle.

Taking medication is not such a bad thing, if one small tablet can improve your quality of life. Personally speaking if it wasn't for medication I don't think I would be here today typing this message to you today - I know I wouldn't.

It will be great to see you again soon, we have all missed you and you are always remembered when we get together.

So pleased about your new job.

[Laura1989]

New job is fantastic! I love it......so why dont I feel any better? :(

[Annie0904]

Welcome back Laura. Even though you love the new job it could just be getting used to the new surroundings or maybe it is just the time of year?

[Laura1989]

i really don't know, it could be the time of year, it may be anx about new surroundings? just hoping it goes soon because its wearing me out! my family are putting up with so many mood swings and outbursts at the moment and it isn't fair on them!

[Annie0904]

Sending you hugs Laura, I hope you start to feel better again soon :hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Laura1989]

My GP seems to think its that,we'll just have to hope that after the Xmas hols, and once I get back into it in January for the new term that i settle back down!

Thank you for all the messages and hugs, its nice to know I have the support here :) :) :) x