I wish people wouldn't do this!

[baxwalker]

I have good days and not so good days like many of you appear to have.

My good days can be wrecked by just one person making what to them is a caring remark but to me can be devastating.

I can be sitting at my desk feeling really well and actually enjoying the day when another member of staff can walk by and say something like - "Are you ok? - you do look a bit pale today".

Bang - that's it! I immediately feel very unwell and all my symptoms of health anxiety come soaring back - ectopics etc. Another ruined day!

If only they understood, but how can I convey my problem to them - I'm their manager. If I tried to explain it to my team of hairy tanker drivers they'd have a field day and it could undermine my position.

John

[reddevil]

Hi,

I agree with what your saying, I have the same problem but in a different way.

I can be having a great day until I hear somebody talking about how their friend is poorly or something to do with health is detailed on the TV, then all my symtoms can come back.

Some of my close friends at work know about my anxiety issues.

Red

[hayles]

yep am the same.
Having a right good day today until a collegue came in to say that her husband had been up all night with a horrible sick bug. Well with a fear of sick, that is the last thing i need to hear!!!!

Hay x

[Sheik N Shimmy]

Yep! I know what you mean.

Out of the blue, the other day, my mother started talking about all the people she knows that have cancer. I suggested that cancer is not as common as she was suggesting and that is mainly a disease of old age but she insisted that it is rife in every age group.

Then she suggested that I get tested for diabtetes....... Does she know something that I don't? Maybe..... maybe not.

Being pale is a symptom of anxiety isn't it? I'm not sure why but apparently it is.

E

Keep On Keepin On

[Ma Larkin]

Hi John, I sympathise with you on this one. It must be extremely hard for you with your hairy tanker drivers (that bit made me laugh for the first time today!!) Although I'm in a senior position at work myself, I do have a manager who is our Borough Solicitor and find her extremely intimidating at times. I couldn't even begin to tell her anything about how I really feel and sometimes feel like I'm "wimping out" when I give her one excuse after another. I hate it when she says "you don't look too clever today", it really undermines my confidence and makes me think there is something wrong with me that is worse than just anxiety! i reckon you've coped pretty well so far because it looks like you do manage to keep your anxiety under wraps from your hair tankers!! Well done mate, just ignore the comments and tell yourself there's nothing wrong.

Take care.

Les

[missacorah]

God you have hit the nail on the head with this post.

I work in a school and there are 2 dinner staff that come in and they are renowned for their gossip. They seem to delight in telling me how rough I look most days lol! And it does set you off doesnt it?

A few times I passed and they said hi to me then I heard them say '' woah she DOESNT look well''. the next time they asked me if I was ok as ' I didnt look well' I said I felt fine thanks but told them I was just thinking exactly the same about them. I commented on the redness of her cheeks which was quite excessive and it went down like a lead balloon - she didnt like it at all obviously.

Sounds petty but it made me feel a little better![:I]

[Paddington]

hello John,i have an idea for you!How about telling them??Or dropping it out in conversation in some way,The only reason i say this is because ayoung chap i know,[hairy truck driver!!]suffers with awful anxiety and actually chose this profession so he could be on his own most of the time[does a lot of long haul work!]there are sooo many of us with anxiety in one form or another that maybe there is someone like you who is suffering in silence at work!!Big thing to do maybe ,tell folk,so any body else got an y ideas of how to tell others without feeling foolish!!The work place can be so cruel.Now that fella i mentioned has no social life or workmates and it is no life for a 31 year old is it!?God luck John.love mary rose.xxxxxxx

we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore

[yorkylover]

Me to I can get Up ok,then someone at home says you look moody and bang Im feeling bloody down again.:(

Ellen XX

[leanne1980]

HIYA

im like this aswell, 3 years ago i had a blood clot and this is 1 of my big fears now, anyway i was fine and my aunty said " your legs look swollen" a perfectly normal comment i spose but it effected me so much i had to leave the family get together. looking back it was mid august and very hot thats probably why lol

leanne xxxx

i just wanna feel normal

[net]

this happened to me yesterday
a friend saw me and said i didnt look well and did i want her to take me home.

really messes my day up

netty


the dreams of the future are better than the history of the past

[Insomniac]

Even when people are aware or do understand, I don't think they realise the effect a comment can have. I personally can worry about anything, and nothing, and everything! I worry enough about what people MIGHT think of me, so when they actually do say something I read all kinds of meaning into it as well. Lots of us suffer from low self-esteem and guilt for being ill, I guess that's why these comments affect us so much.



Lisa.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

[angstsoup]

Hi Bax

I have felt as you do now- meaning comments from others which can trigger my anxiety and HA into full swing
There is one " friend" who always has a knack for scaring the pants off of me
For instance, I may speak of a symptom I have been experiencing and she will reply with, " Well, a neighbor or mine had the same thing and.... " then she would insert some dire and serious ending- as in the neighbor croaked or the like
It had gotten to the point where I did even wish to speak to her as she would scare me and make me nervous
Rather passive agressive in my book, if you ask me and many others have agreed with me
I have limited my contact with her, try to longer speak of stmps with her and if she begins speaking of illness, I say I have to go or change the subject
In the situation of someone telling me that I look pale, tired or what have you, I would reply with " really? wow, Louise, so do you" ( childish I know but it works I think) or " really, actually I though I looked fine today."
Try ( not easy I know ) not to let others stir up the anxiety for you for goodness knows we sufferers do it to ourselves more then enough and do not need more
Wishing you laughs and peace




Hugs,

Soup

" I have developed a new philosophy.....I only dread one day at a time." Charlie Brown

[Lousy Hero]

Hey Baxwalker, im the same totally. I can be totally fine until someone remarks out of consern "oh youre looking a bit pale today" "are you eating" or something of the kind and i suddenly feel like bursting into tears and my heart starts racing.

Id love to be able to tell people about why this happens but i really dont know myself :s

Religion? Communism? No, Love is the Opiate of the People

[missacorah]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Hi Bax


There is one " friend" who always has a knack for scaring the pants off of me
For instance, I may speak of a symptom I have been experiencing and she will reply with, " Well, a neighbor or mine had the same thing and.... " then she would insert some dire and serious ending- as in the neighbor croaked or the like
It had gotten to the point where I did even wish to speak to her as she would scare me and make me nervous


<div align="right">Originally posted by angstsoup - 11 November 2006 : 03:18:08</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Yes one of the the same people I mentioned in my above post is exactly like this. Last year when my anxiety wasnt too bad I found a tiny lump on my foot just near my toe and got really worked up about it and convinced myself it was slowly poisoning me etc (lol all the usual logical stuff).

I said to my 'friend' that I was planning on going to the docs as Id convinced myself I had cancer o0f the foot etc expecting her to tell me not to be so silly but instead she gave me a long account of a friend of hers who had died from it!!! I dont even know if the account was true or if this woman sensed my fears and got pleasure out of telling me things!


To cut a long story short, the doctor checked me over and I was fine - I cant even remember what he said the lump was called as it ws so trivial!

Sometimes I think there are stranger folk than me in the world and thats saying something!

[reddevil]

Hi all,

The very thing has happened to me today.

Somebody has told me that I have lost weight and because I have noticed my shirt has been coming un-tucked it has got me worrying.

Red