View Full Version : Looking for a girl for a date must have same hobbys as me anxiety :)
hi every one been a while since ive posted like us all here im an anxiety sufferer so i though i would look for a girl with the same intrests as me for a 3 way relationship me her and anxiety :D.
A little about my self !
I like going to the gym that i usually don't make in to but i get some good exercise trying to get out like the place is on fire then a brisk run home straight in to bed on the internet to make sure google says i'm ok :)
On a weekend i like to go shopping this entails going as fast as i can through tesco forgetting everything i came for feeling a strange pull to anything relaxation orientated so i usually go home with books slippers and werthers originals i also spend 5 minutes looking for a real small que :yesyes:
I keep slim because i always buy light from the supermarket this is because at the checkout i feel like a drunk man on a ship on a rough sea i do a bit of a wobble as my stuff is checked through i aways hope i can last long enough
I like to eat out but im to scared to do it :shades: Nandos is my particular favorite food is quick you can get as many refills as you need and i need allot of water when out and about helps me stopping choking to death apparently or so i think it does :yesyes:
i think if i even knew some one with anxiety we would have allot to talk about where sometimes i feel like im talking to a brick wall !!!!! achally no not a brick wall because that wouldent think im mad like some people do :yesyes:
so im looking for a girl who likes the following things
Staying in allot
Eating out occasionally (but if it looks busy in there lets run attitude )
Loves to read anything anxiety related
over questioning everything
over thinking everything
im sure you ladies will have your own anxiety stupidities as i call it but im up for running out of asda screaming our heads off :shades:
my reckoning is 2 people with anxiety will rock im sick of telling people you wont understand how i feel mabe its time to get some one who will i reckon it can make for some laughs !!
Inbox me
and im not looking for some one to hop on the foot and do the bad thing with just some one with common intrests :)
i'm 32 by the way and male :yahoo:
Totally get where you are coming from but are you sure that reinforcing each others' anxieties would really be the best thing for either of you?
Unless it's that you feel you could tackle your problems together in which case I am misreading you.
Good luck though :)
think you fit the bill reading more in to it, its a bit of light hearted fun :D
dont you get sick of people not knowing how it can be you know them days its just a bit to much where everything you do is forced be nice just on THAT day for some one to understand :)
Ha ha, no, I'm spoken for :)
But yes, I do know what you mean.
Having said that I got over my panic attacks completely and the way I did it was by gradual exposure. Sometimes it was OK to get off the tube and walk, sometimes it was OK not to want to go out at the weekend but it wasn't allowed all the time.
I was never going to miss work and if avoiding something was going to affect other people that wasn't allowed either.
Next time you're in the supermarket make a list. And when you've got everything on it just tell yourself there's no hurry and look at a few more things before you go and pay.
You can find plenty of ways to trick yourself into staying longer in other situations too, you just have to be inventive.
The only exception is if you see an empty checkout - you'd be mad to pass that up! :D
1 min i think im dying agian for the 10th time today :) phew glad thats over !!!!!!
Im not as bad as i was in busy places no one knows about me love affair with anxiety except me and any way who cares :)
im so glad you got over it so theres hope for us all because ive come to terms with the fact that ive got to live with it.
Im not even going to say this and that about how im feeling in a super market there is 10000000 other threads on here about that the only other more popular thread is ....is cetralopam good for anxiety :)
I like work aswell gets me out of the house to be honest between me and i thing 50% of the anxiety is because of work but a bit young to retire i have thought about it though but my boss didnt like the idea :)
:) xx
valleybear
05-12-13, 17:44
Brunette,...just got to say that that is a brilliant post! I have managed to control my panic attacks by having much the same "rules" as you but you have put them into words so well! I still sometimes have a panic attack, but usually in the middle of a period of recognisable anxiety/depression when I am aware that it might happen and have the coping mechanisms in place to a certain extent! Again well said hon! :yesyes:
Is this post for real?... Looking for a date on an anxiety forum?
So then I thought about it... there's a dating website for just about everything out there. I did a quick search and lo and behold there is a dating site for people with anxiety! Might want to look it up and give it a shot.
Positive thoughts
why can't it be for real !!!!! any one with anxiety and i dont mean im scared of the doctor anxiety the type where it affects you life 24-7.... people look for people with similar lives so why not some one with anxiety !!!!
Thanks valleybear :)
Scrog - as long as you keep turning up for your job you can work round everything else. If you are worn out with the effort at the end of the day it's fine to go home and crash out. It was all I was fit for some days.
Just keep chipping away at it. Challenge yourself one day, be gentle on yourself the next. Remember some people actually like fear. They like it so much they jump out of planes and do other dangerous things. Just pretend you are one of those people - even if it is only on a trip to Tescos :D
why can't it be for real !!!!! any one with anxiety and i dont mean im scared of the doctor anxiety the type where it affects you life 24-7.... people look for people with similar lives so why not some one with anxiety !!!!
I see your point but honestly, it reads like a sarcastic joke profile one might put up on Match.com or some other dating website. In reality it's kind of sad :(
It would be like me posting an ad looking for a woman who had oral cancer.
"Looking for a gal to hold hands with and enjoy our gravity drip into our PEG tubes while we practice our swallowing exercises.......... Do you have nueropathy? lymphedema? (turkey neck) Well then Gobble Gobble, we'll have a lot in common! Previous heart attack experience welcomed and encouraged"
See my point?
Positive thoughts
Your totally missing the point if you think it's sad that's ok
It's a bit of harmless fun I try not to take anxiety to seriously thanks for the comments though ..... Duly noted and ignored ������
Why should one person with anxiety not seek to date another with anxiety? I can't see why that should be discouraged in any way. A natural empathy could be a real positive in such a relationship. Good luck.
Hi scrog brilliant post!!!!!! made me chuckle
Thought about all the times that's happened to me
i couldn't have put it better:)
you have to laugh or you would go mad
remember you are not alone I share your pain
good luck with the date you deserve someone who understands
Im lucky that my wife does
all the best mate Tez
Hmmm my opinion (I know it's just light hearted as you stress) is that anxiety is not the real you...it's just fear. And I dunno about you but when I have anxiety it goes up and down throughout my life. So my profile would be different everyday! And I would rather judge someone by their personality underneath it all.
I find it interesting you don't see your anxiety as a problem that needs solving, but more of a mild incapacity.
---------- Post added at 00:04 ---------- Previous post was at 00:03 ----------
It would be like me posting an ad looking for a woman who had oral cancer.
"Looking for a gal to hold hands with and enjoy our gravity drip into our PEG tubes while we practice our swallowing exercises.......... Do you have nueropathy? lymphedema? (turkey neck) Well then Gobble Gobble, we'll have a lot in common! Previous heart attack experience welcomed and encouraged"
See my point?
Positive thoughts
Sorry but oh my lord this is just hilarious
MissLady83
07-12-13, 02:24
Scrog80 anxiety is a bugger lugs eh! You managed to get a date then haha :)
Sorry but oh my lord this is just hilarious
Yes, it's quite a bit of dark humor but that was my point. It may be funny but would be inappropriate in a setting of oral cancer survivors. Some may find the humor in it while for others it's a reminder of the limitation the disease places on them. Thus my point about the OP.
Positive thoughts
Fishmanpa ... Can I be honest take all that negativity and aim it at some one else.... there might be a forum for people like you im sure there will be a forum for it
I've got anxiety issues I deal with every day tried it all Cbt / meds wearing funny clothes and chanting ermmm what else suna facing my fears ...u name it but it's still in full force some days more than other why is enjoy this forum talking about issues and offering words of wise to new sufferers so why not date some one from here not that it will or wont happen but ive had loads of inboxes saying it was a great post and people have the same issues so its not necessarily a bad thing
ive got anxiety had it ages so what im scared of crowds and all the other stuff but u no what i go any way i feel the anxiety wobble oll over but still do it.
yes its embaressing writing a thread like this but i did it any way !!!!!!! What have you done today ???????
What i dont do is knock some down who is allready trying to get up !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If it makes you feel good to have a go at me then thats fine if i can give you 5 min from anxiety by having a go at me then thats ok go on keep going water runs off a ducks back like negative comments do to me im trying and thats the best i can do.....
Feel the fear and do it any way .... GREAT BOOK !!!
I wouldent compare oral cancer to anxiety but there you go but on the plus side apart from me Beeing a saddo postngi a thread like this had a nice response with inboxes from people who seam to like it so not all bad .
ALWAYS BE POSITIVE BUT IF YOU DO NEED TO HATER SOME ONE ONLY HATE A HATER !!!!
******To every one else thanks for the nice comments and keep up the fight its weekend the worst time for anxiety soon be monday ***** :roflmao:
Actually there are a couple of sites I frequent. Both are oral cancer sites. It was several postings from people who obviously suffered from anxiety, specifically HA, that brought me here. I've learned a lot about anxiety and specifically HA to try and help those on the cancer sites and I've stuck around to offer support to those suffering here. Specifically those with heart and cancer fears. I've been there so I can offer words of reason concerning those fears, especially since I don't suffer from anxiety. I have and do suffer from some depression, which is understandable and quite common for someone having battled cancer and heart disease so I have a pretty good taste for mental afflictions.
I'm truly sorry my words strike a negative chord with you. Keep in mind that a public forum allows opinions and not everyone has to agree. All I'll say is good luck with your affliction as well as your search for love. I do hope you find what you're looking for. As a survivor of two heart attacks, bypass surgery, stents and most recently stage IV oral cancer, I know what it's like to suffer. The only difference between my illness and yours is that one can bury you under ground and the other above it.
As far as what I've done today? Besides some Christmas shopping and making a big pot of chili, I've answered quite a few PM's from people here in an attempt to help and encourage them.
Best of luck in your endeavors.
Positive thoughts
I don't think fishmanpa is a "hater" scrog, even if his humour was a tad naughty in trying to give you a new perspective. At the end of the day everyone on this forum wants you better and wants you to have a life you can enjoy, try to take everything on board even if it feels bad now as it all adds up :)
Catherine S
08-12-13, 00:48
Hi Scrog...if I was so many years younger I would probably have answered your dating appeal :blush: How many times we 'anxies' wish that people in the real world could understand us, so to be with another person who has the same anxieties would help make life more bearable yes? I'm ok nowadays, having lived with my anxieties...mostly stemming from heart anxiety and claustrophobia...we could've sat and cried together on a plane for example, instead of sitting with somebody who doesn't get it and thinks you should just snap out of it :lac:!
But as ive grown older...and i'm very old now :noangel:...the anxiety has finally turned a corner, or I should say that I have finally learned how to ignore it all, because really, it never leaves completely I don't think, you just find ways to live with it. You will be ok believe it. You're a good looking bloke and you will find your significant other one day. I loved your post :)
Take Care
ISB xx
Fishman it's fine honestly It's just all that oral cancer stuff and calling me a saddo but that's your opinion to be honest I like a bit of banter.
Goz mabe he's not a hater but he called me a hater and referred to anxiety as oral cancer :)
I still believe ... I'm hoping one day my anxiety will ease off think I need a change of job I've got a job with 200% stress all day long thanks for your kind words though ��
MissLady83
08-12-13, 12:05
We all have different ways of thinking and I took Scrogs post as a bit of light hearted banter. Now all kiss and make up or you are blooming grounded lol
Scrog,
The issue with the written word is that they are just words on a screen and contain no inherit emotion. One cannot interpret inflection nor intent. The way one reacts to it depends on one's state of mind when it's read. Obviously, your state of mind had you take my words as an attack on you personally which it wasn't.
While I agree your OP is written tongue and cheek, I felt you were serious in using the forum as a way to get a date. Quite frankly, if I read your OP in a tongue and cheek manner, it's actually quite witty. As far as the "sad" part? To me it's sad in that you are suffering from this malady, not that "you" are a "saddo" as you call it. I also believe that some suffering from anxiety could read your post and feel saddened that they themselves are suffering as you are. However, it's evidenced by your posts, you took it personally and I'm sorry you did so.
My point and opinion, and I still stand by it and am entitled to it, is whether or not you were serious or making light, this is not a forum to seek a romantic interest. I'm not saying you aren't entitled to meet someone at all, nor am I saying either way whether meeting someone with similar issues is a positive or negative. It's not a knock on you personally (although you obviously took it that way) but again, I don't feel this forum is the vehicle to use. I compared it to OC in that it would be inappropriate for me to seek a date on the oral cancer sites I belong to as I feel it's inappropriate for you to do that here.
There are dating sites for all sorts of people, from those seeking a partner for outdoor activities to those seeking extramarital affairs to those with herpes to those that prefer foreign women etc.. There actually is a dating site dedicated to those suffering mental illness where one can be "no longer lonely" ... "Nudge nudge, know what I mean? Say no more say no more". I'm sure you're a nice guy with good intentions and your personal ad would do well there. I actually met my gf on a dating site and we've been together 3 years this Christmas and she's getting a ring. There are many success stories so give it a shot.
Good luck in your quest as well as in your journey to heal from anxiety. I believe as with my illness, you can do it. As with my battle, desire, determination and most importantly, a positive attitude are key elements in doing so. If I can battle stage IV cancer and win, you can certainly defeat anxiety. While treatment is challenging, it's a hell of a lot easier than chemo and radiation ;)
Positive thoughts
Rennie1989
08-12-13, 12:33
I'm in two places.....
Whilst I see the banter, I'm still a little uncomfortable with the idea of looking for someone who has anxiety. I understand there's a bonus of each other understanding, but I get the impression that the anxiety is a central point to the relationship, which I agree is sad. Anxiety is an illness that none of us here wants to suffer from, what would happen in the relationship if one person was cured or got a lid on their problems whilst the other still struggled? Sure, person a would support person b, but there could be animosity, like 'well, he's better, why can't I get better?' and 'I feel like I'm dragging him down' etc etc.
I understand that certain diseases and conditions can bring people together. My husband and I met online and we were first connected by our interests in music and our morals, then later found out he suffers from depression and me anxiety. Our experiences and knowledge gave us hours of conversation, but we did not glue solely because we have a mental illness. You need other interests and conversation starters than what is wrong with you.
I think ever one is overthinking this to death now it was a bit of fun mabe best we leave it here before we end up with a debate on morals :)
Scrog, loved your post and read right to the end of the thread to see whether or not a lady with a sense of humour had agreed to a date! As no-one has yet responded in that manner, friends swear by OK Cupid and it is free! Hope you find someone great.
scrog if it makes two anxiety sufferers happy ,go for it :D
danj you know what i have had a good few inboxes but some to old some i was to ugly for them and some live to far away :roflmao:
lindadiana
12-12-13, 21:21
well im 55 and I can honestly say I wish I could meet a man with similar anxieties to me,then I wouldn't feel so stupid, when ive been on dating sites ive spoken to many,met a few...(in my home) as I cant go out on my own ,they have liked me and asked me out on dates but they want to go for meals or skydiving anything but stay in type relationships or go out and take it steady see how you can cope so ive been single for 15 years now because of this.i really do think meeting likeminded people could be very good.ive searched and searched for a dating site exclusively with men and woman who are like me and found nothing at all so if anyone knows of one please let me know.its no different to dating for people who are not plagued with anxiety,youmet ifyou likeeach other see where it goes,i wouldn't just meet one person and think oh he will do,there still has to be attraction and similar interest etc but it sure would put me at ease meeting people to try to find my mr right hugs to everyone linda x
well at least your having a go at it keep it up you might meet some one like US LOT one day :)
No more panic should have a dating page!
I totally agree with what Scrog is saying,
its so difficult to form relationships if you have had bad anxiety from a young age,i have missed out on so much in life,it would be great to be with someone who feels to same to help each other.
set up a dating site No More Panic!
Good thread, Scrog. Good luck. I agree with the last post by Mike.
Maybe try www.nolongerlonely.com
Whilst I agree that it's ideally better to have a "normal" relationship as two anxious people could make things worse.... I would also agree that to be with someone who understands and doesn't judge is helpful. You could save each other! I say, good luck to you, man :)
In the nicest possible way, although, yes 'we look for people with similar lives' may be true, and may work, looking for someone who shares anxiety, on purpose, may be a bad idea..
Whilst it is hard to find people to understand sometimes, seeking out a partner based on your mutual - as you put it - 'love affair' with anxiety, is probably a bad idea..
My other half is a relaxed, totally free from anxiety person and i find this very helpful. After all, we all become similar to our friends and our family members and our partners, i don't think having a partner who also has an anxiety disorder would be a good idea - how are you supposed to imagine and work towards a life without anxiety when it's what your relationship revolves around? Unless maybe you could make sure the person you meet is focused on improving things etc, being positive, and is not likely to stop you from moving forward.. Because if you take the right steps your life doesn't have to be ruled by anxiety.
Sorry if that came across harsh! :-) Wish you the best of luck x x
Hi hun....
I just read this and i would love to get to know someone who could understand the things i go through and the way i feel ;) It would be amazing to have someone special in your life who understood and who could support you and you them xx
Scrog . Your post was VERY humorous. I am in my 50s. And married.
But did the dating thing whilst panicking all the way though.
So I REALLY appreciate/agree with everything you highlighted.
It's ALL true.
You absolutely need to be a panicker to REALLY know what it's like.
And how it affects your life.
I have a panic/agarophobic/depressed brother and I can honestly say
We DO NOT bring each other down when we are in a state.
In fact IT is comforting to know someone who really does know what it's like!!
Well done you! for feeling the fear and still getting on with your life.
I have backed down on many occasions and ended up agoraphobic.
I also agree this site SHOULD have a dating page....it has a pen pal page!!!
Having a partner is so important to most people.
Comparing anxiety to cancer is not helpful. This post said it like it is...through humour.
Just wish I was 30 years younger!! Lol xx
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