still suffering

[gregcool]

Hi guys.for those that have known me on hear for a few years know my current situation..iv not been on hear for a couple of months.not because iv been better.iv just felt i was posting to much over and over..so my update is..aftee splitting up from my wife in march and moved away from my home town into a new town and liosing my wife home job and kids.i moved inti my sisters in a different town.she kicked me out 4 weeks ago.so iv moved again to another new town lodgings.single room.still no job still craving for my old life esp as xmas on its way..missing my kids and not looking forward to xmas at all.as i wont be there to see my kids faces on xmas morning and have the family day and xmas lunch.its going to be hard this year.i feel very sad and lost.i hardly hear from my kids anymore as they have said they are getting used to me not being there now..hardly any contact..i dnt have a car so i cant goto them..its been 8 solid months now and still feels like it was only yesterday we split up..i just dnt feel like my life has improved ata all.no job no money cant even buy kids presants for the first time in 15 years.which makes me feel so sad.

[Annie0904]

Greg, good to hear from you but not good to hear that you are still so low. Under the circumstances it can be expected at this time of year especially as it is the first Christmas since the separation. Will you be able to spend Christmas with your parents? 8 months may seem like a long time, time wise but not in terms of coping with such loss and changes in your life.
Are you still getting support from the mental Health team?
Sending you hugs Greg :hugs::hugs::hugs:

[gregcool]

Ho annie.i am spending xmas with my mum and dad this year so a slight distraction.but loved so much my own xmas..i used to put talcom powder up the stairs and put my foot print in it so my youngest girl used to thing farther christmas has been.i will miss that this year.and i usrd to give out the pressnts from under the tree to the kids..i just loved everything about it..i used to cook xmas dinner.i had structure and loved it.and now ill be sitting round my parents and prob wont enjoy it much at all..only seems like yesterday since i split up..

[Annie0904]

Aww Greg, you have brought a tear to my eye, that was lovely doing that for your kids and you know they will remember those little things. Will you be able to get to see them on Christmas eve? How far are you away from them now?

[danj]

So sorry you are going through this Greg. I hope you find some peace and joy over xmas.

Dan

[MrAndy]

chin up Greg ,I know its hard but try and stay positive

[gregcool]

Thanks dan..i am seeing my youngest xmas eve.my x wife is going to bring her over for a hr sometime.but it will be xmas day for me waking up in a spare room at my mums and knowing my kids are at home with there mum and having the day there.i used to love xmas day soooooo much.seeing there little faces as they open there presants and the joy they showed..then xmas day all happy and then round to the inlaws for treets etc..xmas for me was allways about my kids.

[Annie0904]

If you spoke to your ex wife about this and tell her how it is making you feel do you think she would let you spend some time there at Christmas? I am sure the kids would like it. The first year that I was divorced from my ex I invited him over for Christmas day. The difference is he decided to disappear to America for few weeks without even telling me or the children :(

[gregcool]

Oh annie thats terable..sorry to hear that..i dnt think i could spend time at my own old house knowing that i once lived there.would feel really strange and not real.plus i cant get over to her anyway thats why she is bringing my youngest to me for 1 hr xmas eave..ill have to just except what i have and cope with it..i just want xmas to go quick

[Annie0904]

That wasn't the worst Greg, he then disappeared completely for 7 years and I found out he was living in America and married again! Didn't even tell his children. At least you love and care about your kids Greg and want to spend time with them. They really will appreciate that even if they don't always show it. Always keep that contact even if it is just a phone call. Make the most of that hour that you have with your youngest.
I am sure there will plenty of people on NMP on Christmas day for you to chat to. I know it no where near makes up for what you are missing but you won't be alone.
I kept hiding in my room for a while last Christmas day as we had too many guests for me to cope with. Knowing my NMP friends were hear to chat to helped.