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Rennie1989
06-12-13, 11:40
Hiya

In a month and a half time my husband and I will be moving from our flat in Surrey (near the London border) to my parents home on the Kentish coast. I was excited about this at first but now, for so many reasons, I feel apprehensive and premature nostalgia.

Work has been dominating my personal life a lot. I work full time and my manager gave me weekend on weekend off, which was good at first, until it meant working eight or nine days in a row with only two days off to rest before starting more or less all over again. I care about my job a lot too, even though I hate it, but feel like I'm the only one who does. My manager takes the mickey with his shifts, once he spent most of his 5 hour shift either outside or on the phone. I get paid second to least yet do most of the phoning when things are broken and ID the customers who look underage. And with such a short time left here it's being dominated by work!

When I got married in September only one of my friends from my hometown came up (out of seven) and it really upset me, naturally, and the one who did come up was my bridesmaid who was a nightmare. My friends were meant to come up and see me last month, they were excited about it before, but went ahead and made different plans. So I now have no friends to return to.

We aren't planning on living with my parents for long, we have plans to move to a different town in Kent, as the one my parents live in has turned into a dive. But it's not here. I love it here, I love being close to London and having 'London things' around. Day and night life is better, more places to go and see, people have more get-up-and-go and the general vibe is much better. Not to mention, when in central London, I love the how busy it is, seeing all the commuters in their expensive suits looking important, looking at the tall buildings and just loving the whole magic of the place. Going to miss how easily accessible it all is, I suppose.

When I moved up here in September 2011 I never looked back. I was never home sick, I missed my friends and family but not to the point where it upset me and I took my new life with open arms. Now, especially on the way back from the V&A yesterday, I was almost in tears watching the world go by. I know I'm returning to a place that made me miserable, to people that made me miserable. My friend, who came to my wedding, doesn't even seem that excited to see me when I visit in a weeks time, what will everyone be like when I move down?

It's really starting to get to me. I'm beginning to feel snappy (even acting passive-aggressive towards my manager, which is not like me but I do blame him for pushing me sometimes), teary when I think about the move. We're getting a transfer from work to our new place and I just don't care anymore. I'm struggling with my writing too, which is a bad sign to me. Even reading this back is making me feel really upset.

Unfortunately it has to be done now. Transfers have been secured, landlord notified of moved, and the simple fact that we cannot afford to live here if we want a mortgage and family. The town we're looking to move to has affordable housing and the area is lovely, but it's not London. There's no going back, it's 'like it or lump it'.

I suppose I just wanted to rant. I don't know what advice can be given, really.

Brunette
06-12-13, 14:15
Just remember you often have to lose something to gain something.

The way I see it you'll have the best of both worlds - a nicer environment with easy access to London (it's really not that far and it will always be there). And once you do have a family you'll meet other people with young children and make new friends.

Work - well it's a necessary evil but you could go all out and look for a new job too!

Rennie1989
08-12-13, 11:39
Access is not as easy as it is here. It costs me £8 for a travelcard to go into and around London whereas down there it'll cost over £30 just to get to London. I know it's not that far, in terms of the rest of the country, but it's not something I can go to on a whim down there as I can now.

I understand I have to work, in fact I am heading to my parents next week because I have an interview at college to train as a counsellor. I have a career in sight and just have to grin and bare this. I'm getting a transfer and want to work up until March, at least, so I get my bonus. I will be looking for a new job once I've moved.

I was saying to my husband last night that I feel like I have a 'mental cold'. I feel rotten for many reasons, apprehension of no friends when I return, a difficult transfer, long winter nights, returning to a place that made me ill and just not knowing what the future holds. I want it over with but want it put back as much as possible. I need to ride the low mood out, like a cold, but it really could not have come at a worse time, for me.

Jacsta
08-12-13, 12:26
Sounds like you thought long and hard before making the decision to move. Remember that new friends can be made and it is a reason for you to get out and do things when you move back. Starting a new job Is already an opportunity to meet new people, and you never know, your old friends may you more now that you're closer (even though it sucks they missed your wedding and haven't made much of an effort)...if they are worth knowing they will be around.

Moving house is always stressful, and you are moving a distance so that will add to the stress. Try and focus on the positives about the move rather than the negatives as that may help lift your mood a little. Also, do something nice for you and your husband...something you enjoy, a nice treat :)

Good luck

MrAndy
08-12-13, 18:32
try and focus on the positives rennie and let the negatives sort themeslevs out
you help a lot of people on here so heres a hug :hugs:

Rennie1989
10-12-13, 19:09
Thanks for the replies :)

Now I have an ACTUAL cold I have an excuse to have some TCL. Porridge is in the microwave (yes, I know it's 7pm) with hot chocolate, knitting, Master Chef and manicuring later. As long as I take time out to relax, do things that I enjoy (what ever is left, writing is out of the question) I can ride through this like I do every winter.

Andrea2607
10-12-13, 19:35
Good luck to you Rennie, try and treat this move as an adventure, a new chapter in your life I bet that your parents will be thrilled to have you home for a while and spoil you rotten (I had to move back home and I'm 40 and my parents have been so supportive). You can get cheaper train travel from thetrainline.com and save up to 43%. Every problem has a solution. I wish you well and Merry Christmas. x

Tessar
10-12-13, 19:57
Oh that's just typical Rennie, when u cud least do with it....... Bummer indeed!!!
For you..... :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: