Confidence issues

[shakey1961]

Don't know where else to post this on the interweb.

I play the trombone in an Orchestra. I used to be principal trombone then a much better player came along and I was more than happy to relinquish my place and play second trombone.

We both get on really well.

My problem is this. I'm 52 and been playing since I was 11yo. Due to my bad health I had a long lay off and didn't touch my trombone for years. Also I'm not the best at doing any practice at home.

Last Tuesday (rehearsal night) 1st trombone guy pointed out that I wasn't playing few notes correctly, which is fine and I marked my music to help me. Then I make some silly mistakes and I get angry with myself cos I'm thinking I shouldn't be making the mistakes.

The correct thing to do would be to practice the parts at home over and over and over again, but all I do is feel inferior and want to give up.

The 1st trombone guy is a lovely guy and is younger than me and he tells me all the practice he does is blow long notes everyday.

How do I get past the feeling of being inadequate? Our conductor says I'm a good player.

[pas74]

Shakey - if your conductor says you're a good player believe it. He is, after all the head of the orchestra and I'm pretty sure he would say if you're not up to scratch. It's good that you get on with 1st trombone and there's no animosity between you. It was a rehearsal, rehearsals are there for you to iron out mistakes.

You say yourself you're not great at practising at home. Meet a fellow culprit. I'm in a choir and often can't be bothered to pick up the music from one week to the next. We both know we should but can think of better things to do. But, are they really better things?

I tell you what. Let's just both get on and practice. I'm not the best singer but can manage to hit most of the notes and it does make me feel good when we're all singing together. I'm sure you must get great enjoyment from playing. Used to play piano a long time ago, so do understand the need for practice, practice, practice. Gave it up when the future husband came on the scene. In hindsight it would have been much better to stick to the piano :)

So practice Shakey and be confident in the knowledge and skill that you have.

[shakey1961]

Thanks Pas. Trouble is, I don't have anything better to do, I sit on my a**e most of the day or am out. I love my music. Think it's a lot of apathy.

It's just when I play a wrong note, when I should play it correctly, or miss the dynamics. Mr 1st Trombone is playing it fine and I just hate myself when I don't do something right. I play something wrong, my eyes roll up and the head goes back, big sigh, and I feel dreadful. Makes me feel about an inch high!!

I've always had confidence issues tho, took me 18 months to learn to walk until my parents got me a baby walker and then, so they tell me, I was away.

[theharvestmouse]

Maybe you have fallen out of love with playing the instrument? Maybe you need a break from it? Or to reawaken your desire for wanting to play again.

You could also address your confidence issues away from your instrument, I do yoga and it's helping build my confidence in all areas of life.

[Fishmanpa]

Don't know where else to post this on the interweb.

I play the trombone in an Orchestra. I used to be principal trombone then a much better player came along and I was more than happy to relinquish my place and play second trombone.

We both get on really well.

My problem is this. I'm 52 and been playing since I was 11yo. Due to my bad health I had a long lay off and didn't touch my trombone for years. Also I'm not the best at doing any practice at home.

Last Tuesday (rehearsal night) 1st trombone guy pointed out that I wasn't playing few notes correctly, which is fine and I marked my music to help me. Then I make some silly mistakes and I get angry with myself cos I'm thinking I shouldn't be making the mistakes.

The correct thing to do would be to practice the parts at home over and over and over again, but all I do is feel inferior and want to give up.

The 1st trombone guy is a lovely guy and is younger than me and he tells me all the practice he does is blow long notes everyday.

How do I get past the feeling of being inadequate? Our conductor says I'm a good player.


Shakey,

I'll be 55, been playing since I was 8. I'm a professional musician (guitar, mandolin, vocals), classically trained. After college I went on the road, toured etc. I played full time (bands, solo, studio etc.) for 15 years and retired from performing in '94 after my 2nd child was born. I barely played for 15 years. Yeah, I played at parties and occasionally at church but that's nothing really you know. I'm a soloist and play singer/songwriter stuff. Songs from the 60's, 70's etc. along with some classical/instrumental pieces in my performances.

In Jan. 2009, I was persuaded by friends to come to an open mic. You get to do three songs. It was fun to get up in front of people again. Well... a couple of months later, a get a call and it was the owner of a winery that wanted me to play. It was a two hour gig for good $$$. Long story short, I did over 100+ shows 2010-2012. I didn't perform at all this year due to the cancer crap :( But I did do a Christmas show last night... what a blast :)

Anyway... I say these things because I know what you're saying. I once heard Tommy Emmanuel (one of the best guitarists in the world IMO) say about practice. "You need to play a song over and over and over and over. Practice it until you think you can't practice it any more and then, practice some more!" . You have to "own" it so to speak. You want to be able to play music and be able to think about what you need to do tomorrow. That's how well you should know it. I take that to heart. I won't perform a song until I "own" it. I understand with orchestral/classical music you need to have your sheet music, BUT... you shouldn't have to be reading every note. It be there more for reference. You want to know it well enough that you can play not only well but with feeling and emotion. That's what separates a good player and an exceptional player.

No excuses... you have to PRACTICE! No way around it I'm afraid. If you're 1st or 2nd chair in the orchestra then you're a good player so don't put yourself down. Sorry, but it's BS to feel inadequate due to your own lack of initiative. Get busy, start practicing and kick ass. That's what an exceptional musician does!

Music is Life.... LIVE ;)

Positive thoughts

[bellesmummy]

Hi Shakey. Why don't you do what I call the 5 minute rule. Just say you will practise for 5 minutes each day or even every other day and go from there, chances are you'll practise for longer than 5 minutes without realising but if you don't then at least you've had 5 minutes of doing it rather than 0!! :yesyes:

[shakey1961]

Thanks everyone. It really does come down to practising and I need to get my butt moving.

Ironically, our next concert in March hardly features the trombones. The orchestra are performing a brand new work written by a local concert pianist, followed by the Saint Anthony Variations, both having no trombones. The second half will be Dvorak 8th Symphony and trombones are only in the 1st and 4th movements! Typical.

However, like you say Fishmanpa, I have to own it. I understand what you say and it reminds me of a similar saying - The difference between an amateur musician and a professional... An amateur musician will practice something till he can play it right, a professional musician will practice something till he can't play it wrong! Subtle difference but so so true.

I really am not that bad, I know I'm not, and 1st Trombone guy was great yesterday.

Concert went fine, I just feel a bit exhausted now, then again I am recovering form a cold I had a week ago, not good when you have a chesty cough and have to blow your instrument. It's going to be an easy day today.