CBT and identifying emotions

[phil6]

I am Currently doing CBT training.
One of the tools you learn to help with your anxiety is to identify, label, and describe an emotion as it happens, in the moment.
I find this very difficult. I know that anxiety is very much connected to fear, but I get very confused over what emotion I am actually feeling.
The sensation that most upsets me the feeling of almost home sickness. It is a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I don't belong and that I need to leave, even if I am at home. It's a feeling that makes you feel vulnerable. When the feelings arises it removes all my confidence and makes me feel that I need to do something about it. Is it self consciousness,
Is this simply fear.?
It always feels that there is something more to it than simply fear, but maybe I am complicating things too much. There is also an urge to fall into despair and get tearful, so depression is also part of this. The feeling just takes me to a dark place. A place that I feel I need to get out of and that I need to resolve.
CBT simply suggests that it helps to identify, label and describe the emotion so that you fell less overwhelmed by it. But I get really stuck with doing this.
Do you know what I am trying to describe?
Should I just make up a name. Is it not that important to give it a proper label.
Is tis what we all feel, just hard to describe.." Simply anxiety "
Phil

[inCOGnito]

notice how fear makes you avoid that feeling. like it's trying to protect you from something. i don't know about you, but i have grown tired of running. my suggestion would be to go into that feeling, come hell or high water. don't worry about labelling. just feel whatever it is, like when you are mindful. the mind always wants to analyse, to understand, and to problem solve. always come back to the feeling.

I like to be reminded of a poem by Rumi called The Guest House;

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
...
You could always check out Tara Brach's Radical Acceptance.

[Volvoman50]

I understand how you feel and often feel the same. I do think its good but also hard to accept your feelings and face them even though you may from time to time like me today find yourself crying with the emotion of fear fuelled irrational thoughts. Better than running which makes it worse.

[harasgenster]

The inability to identify emotions was what was at the crux of my problems. Like you, I was aware of a feeling in the pit of my stomach sometimes - other times I was just aware of feeling physically unwell but didn't notice any emotion. Despite being diagnosed with anxiety, I rarely actually felt worry or fear. The only emotion I was definitely aware of was anger.

I identified my pit-of-stomach emotion (eventually) as grief and loss: for the dreams I didn't believe would come true, for the opportunities I missed out on as a result of my illness, for people I had lost touch with as a result of the illness. I felt my life had been taken away and was grieving.

But for you it might be another emotion.

I found two things useful in trying to identify emotions. Are you with a therapist at the moment?

One exercise I did in person-centred counselling was picking up objects that 'looked' like what I was feeling (my therapist provided different shapes of shell, different dolls, different shapes of pebble and all sorts) and when I described the shape that just sort of made connections in my mind and I'd have a little 'epiphany' moment where I realised what emotion I was describing.

The other thing I did was mindfulness exercises, where you don't try to analyse what you're feeling, you just 'observe' it - i.e. don't run away from it or try to distract yourself (but also don't focus on it!) just sit there and allow it to happen. I found that this helped me to be a lot more aware of my emotions and over time I just sort of started to understand how I was feeling.

I know this all sounds a bit vague, but I had exactly the same problem as you and I've been able to overcome it, so there are ways out there. Don't worry about trying to 'fix' negative emotions as well. If you're not very 'tuned in' to your emotions and find it difficult to identify them, you actually want to do the opposite. Your inability to identify what you're feeling is probably because you have become so practiced at ignoring your emotions!