Worried I have cancer - can't trust the world anymore!

[jesswilkie]

My latest health fear is down to having painful joints - knees, ankles and earlier today shoulders. Im convinced I have cancer.
There's always something I think I have but it's been getting worse. Now I have children I'm worried they have something awful too. My son had red stools the other day (sorry TMI) but turned out that it was the dye from strawberry jelly, was convinced he had bowel disease!
Anyhow, life hasn't been kind to me in the past two years and I know where this anxiety comes from. My dad died 18 months ago, from a heart attack, he'd had pains for years, doc said nothing - I went round to his house and found him sadly.
My mother this week has been diagnosed with cancer and has 9 - 12 months to live. She complained of aches and pains and this and that but nothing was diagnosed until she broke her hip a few weeks ago. She's just got the diagnosis.
Im now convinced I have the same thing as her, I've felt tired, sometimes thirsty, have aches and pains...can't quite believe I've turned all this on myself!!! I shouldn't be worried about myself now should I? But I can't help it... I have no faith in the world anymore. I thought when my dad died that I'd be given five years grace or something before being hit again...now I'm looking for the next problem in my life and I just can't let it go...

[BumbleGirl]

Hi Jess. Have you spoken to your dr? It sounds like you feeling like this is anxiety because of what's happened to your parents. You've had a rough time and grief can come out in physical symptoms xx

[jesswilkie]

No but I should do, I've seen a counsellor before after my father and it helped a little. I know the likelihood that both my mother and myself both having cancer is minimal and me having it at all is minimal but can't help thinking about it...!

[willous1]

Life is a joke it really is. It's not fair. And I really do feel for what your going through but you know that you have anxiety and no wonder. Don't worry about thinking about yourself, that's natural and you are bound to worry. Them symptoms are part of anxiety and a quick trip to doctors may put your mind at ease. Trust your doctor even though your parents have had issues please believe me and trust them. I've got to the point where I just don't understand how life can be so so cruel and have no faith in anything anymore. Children dying, suffering everywhere and other things make you wonder.
But we have families and children and need to be strong.

[jesswilkie]

It's really hard to trust the doctors though, I'm so fed up with this health anxiety. I know what you mean though, thank goodness I have a little family who keep me going and make me strong. Life feels like such a game sometime, like it's filled with lots of tests and unpredictability, but hopefully my aches aren't cancer. I'm really hoping not because even though I know it's not, it could be, couldn't it?! arrrggghhh

[willous1]

That's the bloody horrible thing about health anxiety. We know it's not but that could be part never goes away. It's not fair. Some people deal with these illnesses better than how I deal with just thinking I may have it. If I didn't have my family I would give up but we have to keep going and being strong. I wish you all the best Jess and your health is fine I'm sure but mentally your going through a lot and should see someone. What's your doctor like?