Why can't I escape this?

[HollyBob]

Hi all,

It's been a long time since I last posted. My anxiety has been really bad recently and I just CAN NOT escape it.
It's driving me insane.

It's recognisably unhealthy for me now. It stems from my relationship with my partner. He's amazing and extremely supportive of me and being with me. When we're together, I glow.
When we're apart, I shrink in fear. What if he wakes up and doesn't want me? What if he changes his mind?
I've voiced these concerns and he understood very well. He even said that I could leave...he just has to hope that I won't.
He's made the most wonderful suggestions and has high hopes for our future.

But what if... That's all I can ever ask myself. What if I was wrong? What if I'm awful? What if I'm not good enough?

I'm trying to finish my masters degree and get a job. I want this relationship to flourish and I know that the people around me love me.

But what I know and what I feel are so different.

I know I've just ranted and thank you for getting this far :) What I'm asking, is for tips to try and reduce and manage my anxiety. Especially, when I am alone.
My heart races, my muscles tense and my thoughts become entirely clouded by negativity.

I'm just done. I can't put myself, my partner or my friends through this again. It's not worth it.

Please help me get away from this.

[hanshan]

Hi Holly,

There was a post on another thread about "relationship obsessive-compulsive disorder". You might want to do some searches under that heading, as there might be helpful information, tips and techniques.

[HollyBob]

I've never heard about ROCD before. But that's some great advice. Thank you!