anyone else get sad at Christmas?

[cattia]

I love Christmas so much, everything about it and even more so now I have kids. But every year I find myself thinking that this could be the last year yhat we are all together and that I could die before next year, or something could hapen to one of my family. I hate the fact that these thoughts overshadow my enjoyment. It's a fact of life that we don't know what the future holds and all we can do is enjoy the present without worrying about what's to come. I know that logically, but I can't help feeling sad and worried when I think about all the awful things that could happen.
This week I weighted myself and found that I have lost weight without trying to so now I am thinking that I will slowly waste away and die before next Christmas. Crazy eh!?

[skippy66]

Christmas is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. But when I had health anxiety I found that Christmas was a tough time for me. It may be the same for you. Why? Several reasons:

- Christmas is a time of reflection and family time. You're free of life's distractions for a few days, which is a great thing when you don't have health anxiety but when you do it can lead to the classic obsessing over your health again, just because you don't have enough going on to fully distract your mind. That board game just isn't enough...

- You will doubtless have loved ones you have lost, or family members who know people who have passed away through the year. At Christmas we remember those people and it's easy to become melancholy because they're no longer around. It's human nature. They may have died of illness or disease and all that experience of caring for them throughout the bad times comes flooding back.

- Christmas tends to bring a flood of programmes about ill people. They are great and worthy causes, but for the health anxiety sufferer a charity programme filmed from a children's ward or stroke rehabilitation centre is only going to lead to one thing - more health anxiety. In addition to this, if you watch 'soaps' (thankfully I don't), they are looking for big ratings at Christmas so they go for the most shocking stories possible (which usually involve people dying either from illness or accident). Cue loads of hospital scenes, ambulance sirens and wailing of loved ones.

- Finally the most important reason. You think that over Christmas hospitals are understaffed and overworked, and due to this you won't be able to get good enough medical care if (or when, which is the HA attitude) you need it. You may have read stories in the paper, or seen on the news how strained the hospitals are just because of all the self-inflicted alcohol-related admissions. You think that the 'best' doctors would never work on Christmas day, it's guaranteed to be a student doctor or understudy lumped with the Christmas shift.


So this is why Christmas is tough for the health anxiety sufferer. But how can we make things better for ourselves?

I found that the best way to approach this is through total acceptance and facing the fear. If you read my posts you know that I bang on about this time and time again - you may even be getting really sick of me by now (oh the irony - excuse the pun)! But please believe me when I say that I have had more than several Christmases ruined by ridiculous obsession over my symptoms, and I have used the acceptance technique to cure this. I now enjoy Christmas more than ever, thanks to my new attitude and my 2 young children.

So at Christmas instead of reaching for your phone or laptop to google symptoms I want you to stop and think to yourself that Christmas is truly a wonderful time. Nobody knows how many more Christmases they are going to enjoy, it's probably loads but nobody knows for sure. Nobody.

Then you must accept that hospitals may be under a little more strain than normal at Christmas. Don't go looking for evidence either way. Just accept it. Life is unpredictable, life is short, life is there to be enjoyed. Ask yourself what you can physically do about the situation? Absolutely NOTHING. When you're flying in a plane and turbulence kicks in, can you do anything about it? NO. You trust the pilot. The best thing you can do is accept it, only then can you sit back and enjoy the ride. Enjoy Christmas for what it is.

Try and immerse yourself in all things Christmassy - this is vital for distraction. Board games may not work but other things will. If you have kids make it your SOLE MISSION to give them the very best Christmas they've ever had. If you don't make it YOUR MISSION to ensure that everyone you're with has the very best Christmas they've ever had. Get fully immersed.

If you don't want to watch the uncomfortable TV shows, don't. There's no pressure, but I would actually advise that you think 'to hell with it - they can't hurt me in any way' and force yourself to watch them. Go out of your way to watch the sad bits. Rewind them, watch again, watch over and over until you lose the fear of them and your brain gets rewired. Losing the fear of health stuff is the key to your long term recovery, but don't feel like you have to at Christmas - it's ok to take break.

Give Dr Google the holiday season off. Don't go googling symptoms because it can't make any difference whatsoever to your particular symptoms and situation. How many people has Dr Google ever cured? NONE. How many people has he worried shitless? Millions. Don't become another one of these at Christmas.


Whatever you're doing, make this Christmas one to remember for all the right reasons. If you go into it with this attitude you're bound to succeed. Positive mental attitude is the key.

Merry Christmas - enjoy it, and see you in the new year!

If you would like to leave any comments they are all welcome...

[Hypo]

My ex husband is dying. He has days to weeks to live.

We have three children together. This is his last Xmas, if he even makes it until then.

So I am currently seeing your fears play out first hand.

Let me tell you, anything can happen to anyone, but you are no more likely than anyone else to die. Please do not waste this special time thinking about next year. My ex husband who is dying is planning an awesome christmas and we must do the same despite our fears.

I am the same way as you., Xmas is always hard for me. I get scared due to the GP's not being open as much, scared because I am meant to be happy. I get exactly how you feel. This year please try to remember that you are physically healthy and enjoy it as much as you possibly can.

I wish I had a magic answer for you. Xmas sucks for most of us with HA I imagine.

[hanshan]

Hypo - my thoughts go out to you and your children. I hope they can have one more Christmas with their father.

Cattia - we don't know what the future will bring, or either tomorrow. However, most of us are fairly certain that we will make it home and into bed tonight, so plan on making this a good day.

[hadenough]

-

If you would like to leave any comments they are all welcome...

skippy, as usual I am in awe of the way you are dealing with this awful illness. Not just you but various others such as fishmanpa, cpe, Andrea and a few more. You all come across as so positive and I so want to be like that. I wish more than anything that I could accept my HA for what it is but so far nothing is working, it has literally taken over my life. Im waiting for CBT but there is a long waiting list.


To every one else, I hope that your Christmas turns out to be better than you imagine it will be and that in the New Year we can all find a way to kick this terrible illness into touch.

had

[fruity]

i love christmas but this time of year plays with my anxietys. but it,s also a sad time because i think of my dad he passed away two years this march coming. so christmas is difficult. he was only 62 and he didn,t look his age either he looked younger. he had cancer of the blood plus a bad heart. the heart killed him. but i believe he,s here with me. but we all have to carry on no matter how hard it is. and believe me theres been many times i could just fall.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxx

[AuntieMoosie]

I get sad every single Christmas, I think that's what Christmas does to so many people, it exacerbates our emotions.

Sadly, with it being such a commercial event now, most of us are completely stressed out to the point that we're blowing steam from our ears, by the time Christmas Day even gets here!!

This year I'm planning on having a fun filled day, I will have my Son here, grown up Son, which will be lovely, my partner absolutely loves Christmas, far more than I do, and with us both not being in good health now, who knows what could be round the corner?

Christmas is a strange event isn't it, on the one hand, it can be soo happy and magical and on the other it can be sooo sad and painful, with me, I think I get a mix of the both.

Hypo my thoughts are with you at this time, when we're being faced with the loss of a loved one, Christmas just pales into insignificance, I understand how difficult this must be for you and your children, planning away to keep your ex hubby's dreams alive, trying to do that in those circumstances must be the hardest thing that you've had to do, hugs to you hun :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Sadly, we lost a dear friend of ours to cancer at the end of March this year, so this will be our first Christmas without him, he was always the life and sole of the spirit of Christmas, so him not being here is going to be not only sad, but very strange too.

But you know, this year, I'm feeling a new emotion, I feel guilty. In the World and our Country there are people who just want to be warm, sheltered from the weather, fed a lovely hot meal, have someone to talk too, compassion and understanding, they have nothing, and yet I'm sat here, with Christmas trees, Christmas lights, all the nice Christmas bling all glittering and shining.........but do I really need this stuff?...........no I most definitely don't, so, yes, I feel guilty and greedy too, none of this stuff is essential, it's not for survival, I could easily live without it.

Please don't take too much notice of me thinking aloud, but this year, this is what I'm thinking, some are freezing, starving and so lonely and sad, yet I'm sat here with all this shiny stuff everywhere?....just doesn't either feel right or seem right to me. :hugs:

[Andrea2607]

I hate this time of year. My children 18 and 20 stopped talking to me four years ago after I split from my husband and went straight into a relationship that ended badly with me loosing a considerable amount of money (mostly my children's) because of fraud that this man committed. I have suffered terrible depression, GAD and anxiety ever since and have been hospitalised twice and sectioned once. I have now had to move back in with my parents and am on a cocktail of four different drugs. I would give anything to have my children back in my life, I have tried to contact them on many occasions but they don't want to know. I am counting down the days until the festive season is over, I feel so alone.

[rebeccad]

Snap I'm the same at Christmas but not just Christmas birthdays , holidays anything special I seem to ruin it with my obsessional behaviour some great advice on this thread x

[harasgenster]

Christmas has always been difficult for me, although I don't suffer from health anxiety. Christmas seems to be the time I suffer more from symptoms of depression than anxiety. I'm feeling depressed now - more so than for years - as a result of discontinuation of an SSRI (so it shouldn't last for too long), and have struggled to get out of bed, wash and wear clothes for the last few weeks (I managed to wash and get out of bed today, but screw clothes!). I think the fact it's around Christmas - which is always bad for me - isn't helping.

After therapy, I am more aware of what is going on within me emotionally, and I've realised that what gets me down is feeling alone due to emotional distance. Last year I noticed that I suddenly really missed an ex boyfriend who was more loving towards me than anyone ever had been. This year, it has been far more obvious to me that my low mood deepens when anyone mentions family or parents (as people consistently do at this time of year). I'd always grown up feeling that I had a 'normal' family, but deep down I must have known I didn't. It's obvious sometimes when me and my brother talk that we don't have a 'normal' family - my Dad didn't even bother to tell my brother that he would be out of the country this Christmas, for instance.

Feeling that I don't have a "home" as such is what seems to get me down. I believe, though, that over the next few years I will create a sense of home for myself and I will be able to make the emotional connections I need in life. I don't consider myself to be ill anymore, I consider myself to be unhappy for good reason. I know what needs to be done, so I can do it.

[cattia]

Thank you for sharing your experiences everyone. I am so sorry for those of you who have lost or are losing a loved one. Life can be so hard sometimes. It's difficult to focus on the positives when it seems there is so much heartache and grief. Sometimes when I look ahead all I see is things going wrong, but I am sure when I look back it will be all the little things that I remember so I know I have yo try to make the most of them. I think it's true that Christmas is a very emotive time that stirs up all sorts of memories and experiences. All the distractions that enable us to keep in our routine are suddenly gone so it can be hard not to dwell on things and get intropsective.

[bubblybearette]

I always have a bad time around Christmas. Right now my anxiety is screaming and I'm imagining all sorts of illness because I haven't been very well.

I can't stop thinking of all those family members that are missing, having passed over or been placed in care homes due to dementia. It just fills me full of melancholy. I can't seem to shake it. I can't eat, or drink and am rooted to the spot scared to move since I get the shakes a lot when I stand up.

I know it's only anxiety but how can I shake the sad feelings and get in the festive mood. I just hate Christmas so much, I just want to go to bed and sleep all through it which makes me feel bad for my partner who although really understanding shouldn't have to put up with me like this. I just don't know what to do.

New year, I've decided I'm paying to have a gastric band operation to solve one of my problems, and was going to look at getting hypnotherapy to try and get over this hatred I have of the season so I'm making steps but still love to finally shake it.