acceb
09-12-13, 20:07
I am 19. I have recently moved away from home to start University. Last night i woke up in the middle of the night after only an hour's sleep, choking and gasping for breath. The panic in me was unreal. I genuinely thought I wasn't going to get my breath back in time.
Half an hour ago, I googled what had happened and was linked to this page where a boy had posted about the same experience.. which is why I joined.
I have always been a nervous person for as long as i can remember, however i think it got worse as i attended high school. Just like everyone, i hated doing solo talks in front of the class, but being from a smaller primary school than the majority of people at the high school, i felt so much quieter and withdrawn from the rest.
I had friends all the way through high school, and made the best friends in my last 2 years. Now that i am at university, i still visit home a couple of times a month and see my friends who i love to bits. I am closer to a few of them than the others, as i know they would never ever judge me.
The thing is, i don't have a reason to have an anxiety disorder.. it just kind of crept up on me. I am funny (so i've been told), i'm average looking and i have lots of friends at university.
But 2 years ago i went to the doctors to gain help with my anxiety. The counsellor wasn't much help. I know she tried her best but it somehow didn't work.
At the end of the day, i have brilliant friends, a good social life, a loving family and I got into university. But somehow i still get intimidated by almost everyone, have feelings of worthlessness and paranoia, and i'm not really sure where to go from here.
My greatest fear is social humiliation. I can't think of anything worse than making a full out of myself in front of people. I get frights easily and for the first time in my life i'm finding it almost impossible to fall asleep. I think this is partially because i have moved away from home, but it's like my mind is on overload. I just overthink everything, not so much the future but more the past. Re-think things that have upset me or things that worry me.
I'm not really sure where this rant is going..... cry for help i guess.
Half an hour ago, I googled what had happened and was linked to this page where a boy had posted about the same experience.. which is why I joined.
I have always been a nervous person for as long as i can remember, however i think it got worse as i attended high school. Just like everyone, i hated doing solo talks in front of the class, but being from a smaller primary school than the majority of people at the high school, i felt so much quieter and withdrawn from the rest.
I had friends all the way through high school, and made the best friends in my last 2 years. Now that i am at university, i still visit home a couple of times a month and see my friends who i love to bits. I am closer to a few of them than the others, as i know they would never ever judge me.
The thing is, i don't have a reason to have an anxiety disorder.. it just kind of crept up on me. I am funny (so i've been told), i'm average looking and i have lots of friends at university.
But 2 years ago i went to the doctors to gain help with my anxiety. The counsellor wasn't much help. I know she tried her best but it somehow didn't work.
At the end of the day, i have brilliant friends, a good social life, a loving family and I got into university. But somehow i still get intimidated by almost everyone, have feelings of worthlessness and paranoia, and i'm not really sure where to go from here.
My greatest fear is social humiliation. I can't think of anything worse than making a full out of myself in front of people. I get frights easily and for the first time in my life i'm finding it almost impossible to fall asleep. I think this is partially because i have moved away from home, but it's like my mind is on overload. I just overthink everything, not so much the future but more the past. Re-think things that have upset me or things that worry me.
I'm not really sure where this rant is going..... cry for help i guess.