One minute I'm okay then boom!!!

[xBettyBoopx]

I can be perfectly fine and then bang the anxiety hits for no reason (well I don't think so). It's not like I get to work myself up to it as it just comes on without any warning.

I live on my own and I often get these feelings in the evening or during the night. I suppose I know that I can't talk to anyone at this time of night, but then I don't ever phone anyone about it anyway. I'm confused :shrug::shrug: I should really be used to this having suffered for nearly 40 years, but you never ever get used to bad feelings, do you?:wacko::wacko::wacko:

Hate this!!:weep::weep:

[inCOGnito]

I'm confused :shrug::shrug: I should really be used to this having suffered for nearly 40 years, but you never ever get used to bad feelings, do you?:wacko::wacko::wacko:

Hate this!!:weep::weep:


I used to think about this until I realised the answer. Emotions are always felt 'in the moment'. They are vivid and very real. Try to think of an emotion you felt sometime in the past. You won't be able to. You might be able to describe the experience, you might even say if it was a good or unpleasant emotion, but you won't be able to rememebr the feel of that past emotion. You might feel an emotion now thinking about that past event, but that emotion is felt now, in this moment.

So everytime you have an anxious period it seems so new and fresh because that emotion is being experienced is new and fresh.

When you add the thought "I should be able to deal with this after 40 years" you are basically saying to yourself (a) that something is inherently wrong with you and (b) I'm not going to get better. Aren't these two things anxiety provoking in themselves??? You might not consciously think them at the time but most of our thoughts and beliefs are under the surface driving our behaviours and reactions.

The extent to which you react and the severity of the anxiety is directly related to the thoughts and beliefs that you have surrounding it! so don't necessarily seek to get used to the anxious feelings but recognise and accept that these are the feelings of an anxious body. it feels so raw and fresh becuase your body is reacting in THIS moment to something it perceives as dangerous. It does not mean that the frequency and severity of the emotions won't be reduced the next time, or the time after that, or the time after that. Treat the causes and the intensity of the emotion will respond accordingly.

[xBettyBoopx]

Thank you for replying incognito:)

I have just read your first post here from March of last year and I totally feel the same as you did back then. Like there's no 'safe' place now so nowhere to run from the anxiety!

Everything seems too much for me at the moment and I long for some peace, my body aches with tension:wacko::scared15:

Thanks again for replying.

[inCOGnito]

Hi Bettyboop,

sorry for a late reply! Yeah, that was the most difficult period in my life and despite the impact it had I survived it, and you will too. It's fear after all. Fear is only a message after all, so it cannot actually hurt you.

what i realised is that I had been running my whole life from things I didn't want to face. They were things that I wasn't even aware of. Fear was trying to tell me that I needed to look at them. But how often to we actually heed its message. We feel fear and want to run. We want to avoid it. We are programmed to run from emotions we don't like. But it gets to a point where you can't run anymore. There is no more hiding place. It's learning the message the hard way. So I say to you, turn and face it head on. Let the fear consume you like a fire and see what it is trying to tell you. Consistent relaxation helps to take the sting out of it over time, but remember this...

"when you experience fear, there is no fear. If you experience fear and it still exists then it's because you're not experiencing fear, you are telling a story about it" - Gangaji