lilysmum
11-11-06, 03:20
Hi,
Just went on-line tonight seeking a little comfort in knowing I am not alone. I know I have found it here!! I have suffered from panic/anxiety attacks (whatever you want to call them) since a car accident in 1999. I have struggled over this time with depression, paxil and zoloft side effects (weight gain OMG! nothing like making you more depressed!) increased nervousness, and even times of agoraphobia.
I am proud to say that I have been med-free for over five years now and have only gotten better with each passing year (mostly). It is difficult, as many of you know, as it often feels like it is a journey of one foot forward and two, or three back, sometimes. Since having my daughter 18 months ago I have never felt better. I am very lucky and motherhood has agreed with me famously. I have lost 35 pounds, I walk everywhere I can (as fast as I can usually) , eat wholesome/healthy and organic foods if possible and am trying hard to do better everyday. I have even begun a practice of ashtanga yoga!!
I am feeling really defeated tonight because it was a tough couple of days. Most of my anxiety is generally triggered by the possibility of either being "trapped" in a vehicle, whether in traffic jam on the bridge or in an accident. I took a huge step in August and began to take the bus to work (something I never dreamed I could do!) It has been pretty good except for some minor blips on the calmness scale occassionly.
But Wednesday was what I call minor panic and I came home from the busstop with the excuse of having to use the bathroom and then I got drive (well I always have to actually do the driving but that is another part of this long story!) to work. Then yesterday I had full blown panic. Three phonecalls to home, the sweating, the heart racing, the inability to focus, the upset tummy, the fear...
The only good part of this story is I DID get on the bus, and I DID stay on the bus, and I DID get to work. I suffered through 40 minutes of trying to control my fear. I know I should be proud that I did that, but I am upset that it happened at all. I have come so far and I feel like this is a major set-back.
I just need to share this with someone who understands. So if you have read this lengthy tale and you do,
I thank you,
k [8)]
Just went on-line tonight seeking a little comfort in knowing I am not alone. I know I have found it here!! I have suffered from panic/anxiety attacks (whatever you want to call them) since a car accident in 1999. I have struggled over this time with depression, paxil and zoloft side effects (weight gain OMG! nothing like making you more depressed!) increased nervousness, and even times of agoraphobia.
I am proud to say that I have been med-free for over five years now and have only gotten better with each passing year (mostly). It is difficult, as many of you know, as it often feels like it is a journey of one foot forward and two, or three back, sometimes. Since having my daughter 18 months ago I have never felt better. I am very lucky and motherhood has agreed with me famously. I have lost 35 pounds, I walk everywhere I can (as fast as I can usually) , eat wholesome/healthy and organic foods if possible and am trying hard to do better everyday. I have even begun a practice of ashtanga yoga!!
I am feeling really defeated tonight because it was a tough couple of days. Most of my anxiety is generally triggered by the possibility of either being "trapped" in a vehicle, whether in traffic jam on the bridge or in an accident. I took a huge step in August and began to take the bus to work (something I never dreamed I could do!) It has been pretty good except for some minor blips on the calmness scale occassionly.
But Wednesday was what I call minor panic and I came home from the busstop with the excuse of having to use the bathroom and then I got drive (well I always have to actually do the driving but that is another part of this long story!) to work. Then yesterday I had full blown panic. Three phonecalls to home, the sweating, the heart racing, the inability to focus, the upset tummy, the fear...
The only good part of this story is I DID get on the bus, and I DID stay on the bus, and I DID get to work. I suffered through 40 minutes of trying to control my fear. I know I should be proud that I did that, but I am upset that it happened at all. I have come so far and I feel like this is a major set-back.
I just need to share this with someone who understands. So if you have read this lengthy tale and you do,
I thank you,
k [8)]