View Full Version : Quick memory issue
I was just on a call at work and after the call got very upset and worried. Halfway through the call I was worried about something and wanted to tell my Manager. However after the I forgot what I was going to say. Ive been sick. I never forget like that? Is it normal? I usually remember.
Sean, what are you doing to manage the real problem, which is your anxiety? Every day is a new problem and while I'm sure they are worriesome, you can choose to concentrate on the positive things that occur. Even a client or a coworker saying thank you. As long as you continue to dwell on the small things that you perceive to be negative and scary, this will all only continue to get worse. Take care and choose to do something positive for yourself.
Take a positive step today. Maybe check out a CBT course online. Pick up a self help book and read it. Good luck.
Sean,
I'm not going to pull any punches with my post. I apologize if it comes off harsh because it probably will. After saying you were going to take a couple of weeks off and staying away for a week, you posted the following threads in a couple of days:
Did I say that or think it?, Pain left side of chest woke me up, Am I losing it?, Quick memory issue.
To answer a question in one of the threads... Yes, you are losing it. You're losing it to HA. It's got you so bad you cannot see the forrest through the trees. Of all the ailments your mind believes you have, the HA puts them all to shame.
I say this coming from an outsider looking in. The one post where you added on and on and on (and subsequently edited) was a huge cry for help. But what can we do here that we haven't done? You refuse to seek help. Ok.. great... you're signed up for CBT. Everyone is saying look online, get a book... anything to help yourself yet it seems to fall on deaf ears as the threads continue, begging for help.
So again. Are you losing it? From what I've seen on these boards recently and over the last month? Absolutely. To the point that you should seek intervention or mental help immediately. I cannot see how you get through your day to day life having these thoughts constantly going through your mind. When do you have time for your kids and wife as you're on here for hours and hours?
Sean... We all saw a moment in time when your were lucid and rational and it showed a really cool guy with a great personality. That guy is being buried above ground. It's up to you to dig him out. Get some shovels and help to dig him out before it gets too deep.
Good luck and positive thoughts.
I am looking for help and oredered a book the other day.
I have asked to listen to the call and realsied what it was now it was to do with a voucher we were meant to send out but i completely forgot about it until i listened to the call. Soon as i did i could remember the conversation is that a good thing
---------- Post added at 13:31 ---------- Previous post was at 13:25 ----------
I promise THIS IS IT. I am going to change myself NOW. I dont want reassurance but just to know its normal. We went on to have a chat about something else for 7 minutes (performance of the account) but surely I should have remembered the start of call. If it was a memory issue would it be that it would not have come back to me even iafter i listened to call.
---------- Post added at 15:51 ---------- Previous post was at 13:31 ----------
I just need to get over this one issue- im being serious as have never completely forgotten something. Can someone just let me know if they have done it then i will amke a vowel to do this. I am waiting for a book to come through and looking into private cbt
people forget things every minute of the day,i cant remember most of yesterday and you know what I dont care .You are overreacting to a non issue,you need to pull yourself together.
Ok, I am going to be quite challenging here Sean and I apologise and you dont have to answer my questions. I have been in a place somewhere like where you are now. I still have challenges, but am not where I was. So in my mind there has been a clear shift between where I was and where I am now.
I am always reluctant to post too much advice about how to get better, as I feel like firstly I am not there myself yet, and also that who am I to say what works. All I know is that what I have done makes sense to me.
So my questions:
1) What specifically are you doing right now to get better from anxiety? I am being blunt here, but waiting for a book to arrive is a cop out. There are things you can do right away that could make you feel better.
2) What does being better look like for you? Describe it, is it realistic and achievable? What are the steps to get to that point as obviously you can't do it all in one big leap.
3) Are there any things that you are currently doing that are keeping you locked in an anxious place? I dont mean triggers, I mean reaction to things.
Promises mean nothing without action and to be honest, although I desperately want to see you happier than you are now, frankly you don't need to promise this forum anything.
You are in a cycle of HA. Above you say that you don't want reassurance but then only a full stop later you ask for exactly that. I have hung around here long enough to understand that reassurance is folly, asking about symptoms is fruitless and short term relief.
If you have a sports injury, what works best? Painkillers or physio? The same philosophy applies here. You can get your quick fix online asking for reassurance or you can do the hard yards and make some sustainable progress towards feeling better mentally. The choice has to be yours, it has to come from within you and you have to want it.
Beyond that I am not sure what else you are looking for from people on here, all of who want you to feel better.
Hi Sean,
We had a little chat away from here an hour or so ago and I thought I'd pop back on this forum to get a better understanding.
Coincidentally, I went to see my GP after our talk and this is what happened - I said "I want two things - first to discuss my thyroid meds because my latest test result was awful. Secondly, my ear is in agony so could you take a look?"
She decided to sort my ear out first as it was the simplest issue so she spent a few minutes looking at my ear, feeling glands etc and wrote me a prescription for antibiotics once she diagnosed an infection. She then wished me a happy Christmas and told me to take care of myself, clearly expecting me to leave. I looked at her confused and she said "Is there anything else?" and I said "Um, yeah..my thyroid.....?" and she slapped her forehead and said "Oh yes. Sorry, you did say that. I forgot"
So basically, as I said before, it happens to the best of us all the time. We anxiety sufferers are even more susceptible because our minds are so full of fears all the time.
As CP and Fishmanpa have said so well, your problem is health anxiety Sean hon. I've got to know you better since taking a break from here and I can say with confidence that you are a very warm, articulate, smart guy and basically a little sweetie. But your irrational fears (as you know) destroy you.
I'm going to be honest and maybe controversial, but in a way I think that the CBT not being available for you for another 3 months may be a good thing. I personally believe that you have to go in to CBT with the right attitude and acceptance of what the problem is and I don't think you are quite there yet chick.
I think you should use the next three months to take baby steps towards helping yourself get in the right frame of mind for CBT to be effective for you. I strongly recommend Skippy's book as a starting point in understanding what it is you are really suffering from. Try to limit the amount of time you allow yourself to focus on a particular worry each day and gradually reduce the time. Allow yourself to ask for reassurance about each issue only once. Practice distraction and throw yourself in to your children/wife/anything when you are feeling really bad.
Try to understand that all these "symptoms" that scare you so much are actually not symptoms at all but just part of normal life. Listen carefully to people around you, you will hear people saying things like "Ouch, my back is killing", "I'm in trouble with the wife, I forgot our anniversary" "Shouldn't have eaten that chicken last night, I wanna throw up" and "I must be getting old - I'm all out of puff after those stairs!". Watch those people - do they think these things are a big deal? How likely is it that they all have some awful disease or issue?
[QUOTE=katesa;1252606]Hi Sean,
I'm going to be honest and maybe controversial, but in a way I think that the CBT not being available for you for another 3 months may be a good thing. I personally believe that you have to go in to CBT with the right attitude and acceptance of what the problem is and I don't think you are quite there yet chick.
I agree with everything Katie says apart from this bit. Personally for me CBT was phenomenally helpful in understanding the process that was at play. My therapist was able to reflect back to me the way in which thoughts progressed through my head, and guess what, she was spot on. Furthermore it was the way that everyone's thoughts tend to progress. She also said that aroun 60% of her clients have health anxiety.
So my view would be to crack on with CBT, you dont necessarily have to be in the right frame of mind (as that just gives you an excuse to never do it) rather you need to be determined to be challenged, to feel uncomfortable and to face some tough stuff. But hey, what could be worse that what you are currently going through?
I'd usually agree totally with you CP my friend. But I don't think Sean would actually do the techniques at the moment. I think I used the wrong phrase when I said "right attitude" when I should have said "reasonably open mind".
Don't get me wrong I am certain that Sean can beat this. Ya hear that Sean?
I did forget to mention in my last post that I do think he should do the free online course immediately and keep doing it over and over again until something sticks.
I think the issue at the moment is that this is one huge problem, whereas in reality it is lots of little issues mashed up into one massive beast. It worked for me to have my thoughts reflected back to me and understand the irrational nature of them. Also to be challenged on them and not to be able to come up with sensible answers until the point where i realised that maybe all wasnt mentally as it seemed.
Incidentally, I also didnt do many 'exercises' as such. I learned, understood the psychology and processes and then devised strategies that worked for me.
Hi, thank you both. Your right Kate. It's about baby steps and I'm going to buy Skippys book tonight. I need to beat this now and I can't thank all off you enough. At times I am throwing everything in your faces but I honestly honestly don't mean to. I am just so ill and desperate with this. I am going to listen to all your advice and believe me I do listen.
I may find the techniques hard at the moment and hope I am in the position in three months where I can go in with the right attitude but still going to look at the free CBT. I am looking into every little thing and this is probably the worst I have been, not so much in terms of fear but the amount of worry I have.
The part about understanding what other people say Kate has helped me because it's so so true.
Really nice of you to say them things about me as well Kate. I want to look be myself again and feel like I'm living again.
A very good point Chris.
My fear is that if CBT doesn't turn out to be an immediate cure, if he struggles initially to understand or follow the process, then poor Sean may end up feeling more disheartened with even lower confidence and feeling like his "last chance" didn't work. That's why I thought if he had it when he's already gained some acceptance and practise, it may be more helpful. Does that make sense?
Sean hon, what do you think? I know you've researched CBT - do you think you would benefit from it right now?
CBT isnt a cure at all, it is just a facilitator. The only cure is understanding the mechanisms at play, picking them apart, developing strategies to accommodate the irrational part of our brain and working at it.
My expectation of CBT was quite straight forward. That it would give me some weapons to fight with in a war that I previously had nothing. Also (I have had CBT 3 times in my life) and it is really important you find the right therapist. Looking back the first one I had was terrible, but the woman i saw recently was excellent (and NHS incidentally although I paid her privately).
My personal view is take the bull by the horns and take action rather than wallowing and worrying. If it doesnt work then regroup and try again or try something else. It is ironic that when dealing with HA we are all so impatient when waiting for answers regarding our physical health, but that we avoid strategies to solve our mental health for ever and a day.
I would rather try something and fail and need to try again, than sit and wonder whether what i might do, might fail and therefore might not be worth doing. However that is just me, and in many respect that approach is reflected in quite a few areas of my life :)
Oh I understand CBT isn't a cure honest. But I've seen people (not talking about you especially Sean) look at it as this shining ray of light, this wonderful cure that will make it all better once they get it.
Then when they find that's not the case they get all upset and throw in the towel.
I've tried to answer people here with questions like "how is your CBT going?" and they say "it hasn't helped, I'm still scared stiff of this and this...." and I think, did it really not work or did you not process it right for whatever reason?
That said, I personally subscribe more to your philosophy and would do it if it were me.
I see where you coming from Chris, I just feel like I have no energy to fight but know I need too.
I don't know about CBT but going to see what direction the online one takes and that will give me a better understanding. I am going to start reading Skippys book tonight and just be pro active. You both have good points about CBT and see where your both coming from and will give it a go and hope I get a good therapist. However at this moment I do feel I need to work on other things as well.
I am mentally shattered from this. We have a day tomorrow at work for charity where we wear our own clothes and have to wear something red if possible. I was just sitting there and remembered it and then panicked thinking, what if I didn't remember and I came in wearing work clothes and wondering why it hasn't constantly been in my mind. This is the struggle my brain is going through, I don't stop worrying.
I am in a position where I don't have a choice but fight for this now and I am going to find the strength to do something. I need to be in a better position than I am now for sure.
---------- Post added at 18:41 ---------- Previous post was at 18:39 ----------
I think I see CBT as something that I pray helps but do not want to put all my faith in it. I am open and want to try any avenue open.
Good for you Sean.
Just remember that it is ok to have wobbles. You don't have to tell us that you are doing better if you're not, you don't have to make us promises that you wont do it again. We all know what it's like to one degree or another. Just make sure you are taking positive steps at the same time.
---------- Post added at 18:50 ---------- Previous post was at 18:49 ----------
Oh and as always, you know where I am. I better get back off the board now
you will get there Will it just takes time and patience,it isnt easy but so worth it when you start to get breakthrough moments
I just need to stop letting every little thing play on my mind.
jimbobrooney
12-12-13, 11:49
to be honest i think you need to get off the internet (in general)
Get rid of your broadband for now and deactivate your smart phone.
Sit down with your wife (who believe me is hurting probably more than you are as she is worried about your mind) and tell her how you feel. This will give you relief and start from there...
to be honest i think you need to get off the internet (in general)
Get rid of your broadband for now and deactivate your smart phone.
Sit down with your wife (who believe me is hurting probably more than you are as she is worried about your mind) and tell her how you feel. This will give you relief and start from there...
Absolutely spot on!
Positive thoughts!
I agree Jimbo, I am going crazy. I am assesing every little thing like when I put a code in at work I think (Oh that was slower or I had to think for a second). I need to do something NOW.
jimbobrooney
12-12-13, 14:14
well do it already!
Dont come back on here for at least one month
This site is great but its not helping you. You need to cut yourself off from information overload. You cant continue to use this site as a crutch
Take your wife to dinner tonight , leave the phone at home and tell her what you are going to do in the new year to put this right or at least better . This is the ideal time to do it
Trust you, you have more chance of losing your wife over this then through any illness that you will probably never get
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