Obsessive pregnancy fear

[blackbroom]

Sorry for the somewhat gross subject matter... I have had a platonic male friend to stay for a couple of days. Last night, I used the toilet just after he had been in there. I noticed he'd been in there for an unusually long time and that there was a strange smell in the air just after he had been there. As he was coming out and I was going in, he looked a bit embarrassed and said, "I was just washing my hands." It was only later that it occurred to me that he might have been masturbating in there!

Since then I have really started worrying that if some of his wet semen was on the toilet roll, I could have wiped myself with it without noticing and I could theoretically get pregnant. I know that this is highly unlikely, but not entirely impossible, especially as I used the bathroom literally seconds after him (if it had been an hour after, I know there would have been no chance).

I know it's probably my anxiety head talking - when I Googled this problem, most of the other references I found were people with OCD or HA asking similar questions on health forums - but I know that, in theory, it's not impossible, although very unlikely.

Part of me feels I ought to get the morning after pill, just to be on the safe side, but my rational head tells me that that would be ridiculous and, in any case, the only time I've ever had the morning after pill (when I actually had had unprotected sex) it made me feel really, really ill and I don't want to go through that again. What would you do?

[HoneyLove]

Hi blackbroom, I think that you know that this is a very irrational thought process and getting yourself worried to the point of considering the morning after pill for something so implausible has to be tough on you.

Have you been taking any measures to deal with your health anxiety? Have you learned any CBT techniques that you can apply to this particulr worry for example?

[Brunette]

He would have wiped and flushed - the chances of him leaving any behind on the toilet roll are miniscule even before you get into the even more unlikely scenario that you could have got pregnant in this way.

[blackbroom]

Thanks, HoneyLove and Brunette, for putting it into perspective. I was doing quite well in battling my anxiety, but my mother died a couple of weeks ago, and since then I seem to have gone back to square one.

I've not done any CBT (the GP didn't refer me for CBT when she diagnosed my anxiety because at the time I was caring for my mother full-time and the GP thought - probably rightly - that the added stress of trying to find alternative care arrangements while I went to CBT would probably cancel out the benefits of going). I know that the best thing is to not google, not ask friends and family/other forum members for reassurance, but I just caved in this morning.

I suppose the best thing is probably to get off the internet and try to distract myself. And maybe go back to the GP and ask again about CBT.

[HoneyLove]

I'm sorry you lost your mum, it's not surprising you've had a bit of a blip after that. Have you got anyone around you to help you through everything at the moment?

Online CBT would be a good start for you if you'd like to give it a try. Or you could look at letting go some of your stress through a yoga or meditation class - might be a good tonic for the difficult time you've had lately.

[blackbroom]

HoneyLove: Ironically, my maybe-masturbating friend came over from abroad for a few days especially to help me through the funeral and was absolutely brilliant, but went home this morning. My sister and some other friends are ringing me regularly and my neighbours have been wonderful (but I'm not really close enough to them to talk about my anxiety - although talking about my anxiety often just reinforces my fears, so that's probably a good thing).

I will definitely check out online CBT. Thanks for the suggestion. I will also check out a local mental health organisation that runs free courses, according to a friend who went on one - although I get the impression that they may be more geared to her type of anxiety (physical panic attacks) rather than mine. I won't know until I ask, though.

Thank you so much for replying - your posts have been both kind and very grounded and sensible, which has helped a lot.

[maddie136]

Hi,

It sounds like the stress of your mom's passing (my condolences) has your health anxiety/ocd in full swing. Sometimes when I have "rational" concerns in my life such as finances, work or relationships I find myself worrying about more frivoulous things...perhaps it's easier and our minds just do it as avoidance. Anyway, best of luck. I assure you things will get better. Perhaps you should get a really funny and upbeat book, that ought to help.

[made0fscars]

I used to do this all the time, I still do but nothing related to fears of pregnancy..

you are 100% absolutely not pregnant guaranteed :)