Friend - cancellation - issue!

[Munki]

You may remember me from recent posts when I'd had to cancel a friend and felt really bad. Well..it happened again. In a nutshell:

We've been best mates for 18 years though she moved to Surrey (I'm in Birmingham). She got married and at first no one liked him. She gave up her acting career for him (that's how we met - acting) and decided to just work for him. We were all suprised but she now lives a wealthy life with their 2 kids. Anyway, can't deny that we're very different. I'm very earthy (38 - actress and Psych. student) and she's all about the money.

More recently her Mom in law went through depression. She told me that her and her husband 'don't believe in or get depression.' That was a turning point for me. Anyway, that aside...

I've had to cancel 3 times. Simple as. Firstly we were due to go and stay with them but (I'm self employed) a BIG job came in that I absolutely couldn't turn down. The timing was bad but I had to cancel and she was okay. So, we rearrange and my husbands minor op comes in. We couldn't believe it! Again, i had to cancel. We rearrange and i get a hideous bout of labrinthitis whereby I can't even walk! Granted, I am out of order for the cancellations but really...what was I to do?

I told her I was sorry for the inconvenience but none of them could be helped. Please bear in mind that I've always been there for her 100%. This is the first time this has happened. Anyway, she ignores me for 4 days then texts me saying I need to sort myself out!!!

I am not happy at all. I've gone out of my way (as has my whole family) and despite inconveniencing her, I don't think I'm the bad person that I feel I am right now :weep:

I feel like I've murdered someone!

Please help me deal with this. :ohmy:

[Tessar]

She isn't being particularly sympathetic is she!? Did she think u got a horrible illness just to spite her? She is the or with a problem. If a friend of mine had a series f thing happen than meant we couldn't meet up, yes of course I'd be disappointed but the way I look at it, if she is a 'true' friend then she will firstly understand and secondly feel sympathy for you NOT be miffed. Honestly she is the one with the issue, you are just getting on living life and sometimes life throws stiff at you doesn't it?

[Annie0904]

Munki you are in the right here, you had genuine reasons for cancelling and if she is a friend she should accept that and be supportive of you.

[Munki]

Thank you guys. I don't want you all to feel that you have to say that ;) But yeah, I'm really miffed to be honest. Its the fact that I've been told to 'sort myself out' that has really irked me. You say that to someone in pieces don't you? I have a degree, am doing another at 38 and have my own business. Okay, so I'm not wealthy but hey, I think I'm fairly sorted!!

[Munki]

You're right. It's so incredibly patronising isn't it! I find it very offensive. I think I'll just do nothing and let it calm down.

[Fishmanpa]

You may remember me from recent posts when I'd had to cancel a friend and felt really bad. Well..it happened again. In a nutshell:

We've been best mates for 18 years though she moved to Surrey (I'm in Birmingham). She got married and at first no one liked him. She gave up her acting career for him (that's how we met - acting) and decided to just work for him. We were all suprised but she now lives a wealthy life with their 2 kids. Anyway, can't deny that we're very different. I'm very earthy (38 - actress and Psych. student) and she's all about the money.

More recently her Mom in law went through depression. She told me that her and her husband 'don't believe in or get depression.' That was a turning point for me. Anyway, that aside...

I've had to cancel 3 times. Simple as. Firstly we were due to go and stay with them but (I'm self employed) a BIG job came in that I absolutely couldn't turn down. The timing was bad but I had to cancel and she was okay. So, we rearrange and my husbands minor op comes in. We couldn't believe it! Again, i had to cancel. We rearrange and i get a hideous bout of labrinthitis whereby I can't even walk! Granted, I am out of order for the cancellations but really...what was I to do?

I told her I was sorry for the inconvenience but none of them could be helped. Please bear in mind that I've always been there for her 100%. This is the first time this has happened. Anyway, she ignores me for 4 days then texts me saying I need to sort myself out!!!

I am not happy at all. I've gone out of my way (as has my whole family) and despite inconveniencing her, I don't think I'm the bad person that I feel I am right now :weep:

I feel like I've murdered someone!

Please help me deal with this. :ohmy:


I guess for me personally, having gone through so much in my life, I don't let stuff like that get to me, friends, family or otherwise. When I was diagnosed with cancer, people who I thought were friends disappeared, while some I hardly knew stepped up to the plate. It's a shame an illness, whether it's physical or mental, can dictate a friendship.

I've come to take on the following philosophy. It actually is something I employ in my job and that is: "Some will, some won't, so what! NEXT!"

I don't have time for drama. Life is too short and I suggest to you that you avoid drama as well.

Positive thoughts