Help please

[mermaid]

Hi all

Need some help from peeps. This is my 3rd episode of anxiety and depression. My typical day at the moment is waking early after a disturbed sleep and as soon as I get up I feel sick and churned up stomach. Sometimes am sick and sometimes diarrhoea.
For most of the day I feel churned up with episodes of what I can only describe as hot flushes than seem to come up from my stomach up to my head, feel shaky and overwhelmed and panicky. Sometimes I have awful thoughts of doing something to just stop it all.
Have upped citalopram to 40mg just over 4 weeks ago. Felt bit better week 2 and 3 then right back to square one this last week.
Can anyone help or advise?

Mermaid

[Tanner40]

Mermaid, sorry that you're feeling this way. I've been through several bouts of anxiety and depression over the years myself. What you're describing with waking early, and early morning nausea was always the case for me.

I have found that writing or reading something in the morning helps. I try to write down all of my irrational thoughts and then find why they are irrational. Then I write a more realistic sentence. Practicing CBT in the morning seems to help. Have you ever tried doing this?

[mermaid]

Hi thanks for reply.
My physical feelings don't seem to come from strange thoughts seems to just happen. I do try reading but can't concentrate. Am not even getting better evenings as I used to.
Am 4 sessions into counselling, I think it's CBT but don't seem able to use it when really anxious.
Mum died in March and she was my best friend.
Just scared now of the feelings of wanting it to stop and some thoughts of ending it all when it seems out of control but have a loving family to think about.

Mermaid