lin84
14-12-13, 10:45
hi, im 29 not sure if i have HA but reading all the psots seems so familiar.
reason why i want to share is because i cant cope with the health issues that are hapening to me right now. dont know how to stop worring although i know its all far from constructive.
ok so how it all happend. in general im in difficult time of my live, broke up after 7 years of bad relationship which turned up to be coodependent in last 2 years. im happy i broke up, but loneliness is not easy. and my health crashed which makes it all worst. i have some immunity problems, 3 months ago i went through herpes zoster- which is uncommon in my age. ive blood tests and hiv test and all seem fine. im now waiting for immunological blood test results. however idea my immunology is soo bad freaks me out. my therapist thinks im detached from my body and my body is screaming for attention. and i just hate myself for having all this problems for doing it to myself.
but thing that worries me the most and i cannot handle is an yeast infection which i got in my mouth. my dctor said its so small there is no reason to treat it with antybiotics. thing is i got it due to state of my teeth - i had 4 broken with roots left, i removed two now need to wait 2 weeks to remove the reast. and i hate myself for getting this, i am a heavy smoker which makes infection worst, i hate myself for not being able to quit. i feel like im roating from the inside. i feel like im worst that anybody else , i feel dirty i dont want to be close to anybody. and i now that thinking like that im not helping myself, but i just cant stop. my entire concious is in mouth. i cant wait to see my dentist and these 2 weeks lasts forewer.
at the same time i had other problems, for last 4 weeks i have fever i was sure im getting zoster again. my face was going numb and my eyes dry. i hade sharp pains in my back and ended up in emergency with sings of heart attack- which appeard to be panick ofcourse.
the worst thing is that i have some desise which is self inflicted and very unplesant so it seems likw worring and beating myself up is the right thing to do. and i know this thinking is crazy. i wanna stop, becase its making me depressed and doesnt help solving my health problems. and f...k im only 29...
reason why i want to share is because i cant cope with the health issues that are hapening to me right now. dont know how to stop worring although i know its all far from constructive.
ok so how it all happend. in general im in difficult time of my live, broke up after 7 years of bad relationship which turned up to be coodependent in last 2 years. im happy i broke up, but loneliness is not easy. and my health crashed which makes it all worst. i have some immunity problems, 3 months ago i went through herpes zoster- which is uncommon in my age. ive blood tests and hiv test and all seem fine. im now waiting for immunological blood test results. however idea my immunology is soo bad freaks me out. my therapist thinks im detached from my body and my body is screaming for attention. and i just hate myself for having all this problems for doing it to myself.
but thing that worries me the most and i cannot handle is an yeast infection which i got in my mouth. my dctor said its so small there is no reason to treat it with antybiotics. thing is i got it due to state of my teeth - i had 4 broken with roots left, i removed two now need to wait 2 weeks to remove the reast. and i hate myself for getting this, i am a heavy smoker which makes infection worst, i hate myself for not being able to quit. i feel like im roating from the inside. i feel like im worst that anybody else , i feel dirty i dont want to be close to anybody. and i now that thinking like that im not helping myself, but i just cant stop. my entire concious is in mouth. i cant wait to see my dentist and these 2 weeks lasts forewer.
at the same time i had other problems, for last 4 weeks i have fever i was sure im getting zoster again. my face was going numb and my eyes dry. i hade sharp pains in my back and ended up in emergency with sings of heart attack- which appeard to be panick ofcourse.
the worst thing is that i have some desise which is self inflicted and very unplesant so it seems likw worring and beating myself up is the right thing to do. and i know this thinking is crazy. i wanna stop, becase its making me depressed and doesnt help solving my health problems. and f...k im only 29...