Strange Feeling

[Tanner40]

Good Morning to everyone. I had a wonderful weekend, filled with Christmas shopping. No anxiety as I prepared for the excursion very well. The ideas that many people on here gave me really helped make the experience enjoyable.

It's amazing how our minds work when we begin to recover. I had the oddest thing happen to me twice yesterday. Sitting peacefully, reading a book, and I got a strong vibration in my left ear. Almost a vibrating, thrumming type of noise. Like a very large moth beating it's wings in my ear. I could immediately feel the fight or flight syndrome kick in: increased heart rate, warmth spreading to my chest and face, hands shaking, and I jumped out of my chair like I was about to take off on a run.

I immediately calmed myself down and did what I used to do best. I googled. Tinnitus came up, along with tumors and carotid atery issues. For a minute all I saw was the sinister issues.

A month or two ago, I would have been on google for hours, working myself up into a state. Instead, I shut down my computer and wrote. I totally forgot about the issue and went back to reading my book. I forgot all about it until it happened again at bedtime. Lasted 10 seconds and I said heck with it and went to sleep. This wouldn't have been possible two months ago.

I still don't know what it was but I'm thankful for my recovery allowing me to put myself in charge of my reactions. Progress is a good thing!

[Fishmanpa]

Cool! Yes, a big difference in your mindset. Good going!

Oddly enough I experience that same thing in my left ear often. It's actually a muscle spasm. I had asked my docs about it as it started during my treatment and after my surgery (left side of my neck). The muscles in and around your ear tense up and spasm causing a fluttering type noise and sensation. Perfectly normal albeit unusual.

Have a great day! Positive thoughts

[lily12]

Great well done i wish i could do that i have become obsessed with lumps and how my stomach feels different at both sided and im always on internet checking its driving me insane :(

[Tanner40]

Thanks Fishmanpa! It really was a totally different way of handling this situation for me. I googled before I could even say NO but I immediately shut it down. It felt good to be able to be in charge of my reaction to the situation.

Lilly, you should read some of my posts from when I first got here. I never could have accomplished this then. Hard work, therapy and medication has helped. I think it's mainly about hard work and changing my thought, at least for me. I had to find some sense of acceptance. If I can do this, you can too!

[lily12]

Thank you i have been put on medication 2 weeks ago but i just cant seem to get this out my head i.will have a look at your old posts thanks x

[Tanner40]

Give the medication some time to kick in, Lilly. Are you doing any type of therapy to help your anxiety? There is a free online CBT course that is helpful.

[lily12]

No i.havent had any therapy as i say just started on pills and do feel bettet than i did 2 weeks ago i have thought ive had lumps in 3 different places in 3 weeks i know its not normal x

[pearl79]

Nice one you :-) xx,

[skippy66]

Excellent Tanner, keep posting things like this as it helps others.

[Tanner40]

Thanks Pearl and Skippy. You know the interesting thing that I've found, is that by helping others it forces my brain to become rational. It actually helps me. I love reading positive posts on here. We are all going to have bad days but it's nice to hear the positive ways in which people handle them.

[katesa]

Oh Tanner, well done! You are doing so amazingly well and you are bloody inspiring

[Tanner40]

Hey there, Kate. Good seeing you on here. I've missed your wisdom, humor and positivity. It's just hard work and taking the good with the bad, all with a positive attitude.