MrsDB
16-12-13, 19:27
Hello everyone, I have been an avid reader on here for some time but have not posted before. I am not an anxiety sufferer myself but my husband is and it is now so bad that I don't know what to do any more to help him and is don't know where to turn so I am really hoping that someone may be able to point me to some useful guidance.
The anxiety is often triggered by something positive happening but then my husband feeling that he is somehow not up to it over doesn't deserve it or otherwise waiting for it all to go wrong. That means that major happy events in our lives are usually blighted so I no longer look forward to them - he does because he doesn't see the anxiety coming generally speaking. That includes our wedding, honeymoon, holidays and so on. The current episode was triggered by the news that I am pregnant (currently 11 weeks) which he wanted more than anything and is happy about it but has gone into a tailspin, saying that he will be a hopeless father etc.
I think the pregnancy is the limiting factor this time. I am usually pretty robust and can manage the sleepless nights, talking to him, reassuring etc but I am really struggling to hold it together with the pregnancy symptoms on top. We haven't told anyone yet and I don't feel like I can get him much involved in what is going on as the anxiety is bound to distort everything. He will come to the 12 week scan later this week. I am dreading if there is anything wrong with the baby, for the usual reasons but I know it will floor him and spiral into a dark anxiety period for him.
He only really sought any help for his anxiety earlier this year (apart from short term help during particular crises). He was prescribed Citalopram 10mg and those helped and he was on those for about 6 months at the start of the year. Alongside that, he did a course of Cognitive Analytical Therapy CAT - they were going to do CBT but after his first assessment, they recommended CAT. That course finished in September and he was very pleased with it, said he felt like he had the tools he needed to head off an attack when it next came. When we found out I was pregnant in late October, that melted away. He tried to hide it from me at first but I can always tell and eventually I got him to the GP 2 weeks ago. They have him back on Citalopram 10mg but I don't think they have kicked in yet and/or I am not convinced the dose is enough.
He doesn't like anyone knowing and we have lots of relatives landing for Christmas so I feel under immense pressure to keep the show on the road while distracting them from his meltdown in a room on his own, as usual making excuses for him, lying. I feel selfish even writing that-I will do anything to help him; I just don't know what that is any more and not sure I am up to it, even if I did know. He hasn't slept for 3 nights on the current run and only 2 nights in last fortnight and because he hasn't, neither have I. He is going back to the GP tomorrow so hopeful they may be able to do something to help him.
The anxiety is often triggered by something positive happening but then my husband feeling that he is somehow not up to it over doesn't deserve it or otherwise waiting for it all to go wrong. That means that major happy events in our lives are usually blighted so I no longer look forward to them - he does because he doesn't see the anxiety coming generally speaking. That includes our wedding, honeymoon, holidays and so on. The current episode was triggered by the news that I am pregnant (currently 11 weeks) which he wanted more than anything and is happy about it but has gone into a tailspin, saying that he will be a hopeless father etc.
I think the pregnancy is the limiting factor this time. I am usually pretty robust and can manage the sleepless nights, talking to him, reassuring etc but I am really struggling to hold it together with the pregnancy symptoms on top. We haven't told anyone yet and I don't feel like I can get him much involved in what is going on as the anxiety is bound to distort everything. He will come to the 12 week scan later this week. I am dreading if there is anything wrong with the baby, for the usual reasons but I know it will floor him and spiral into a dark anxiety period for him.
He only really sought any help for his anxiety earlier this year (apart from short term help during particular crises). He was prescribed Citalopram 10mg and those helped and he was on those for about 6 months at the start of the year. Alongside that, he did a course of Cognitive Analytical Therapy CAT - they were going to do CBT but after his first assessment, they recommended CAT. That course finished in September and he was very pleased with it, said he felt like he had the tools he needed to head off an attack when it next came. When we found out I was pregnant in late October, that melted away. He tried to hide it from me at first but I can always tell and eventually I got him to the GP 2 weeks ago. They have him back on Citalopram 10mg but I don't think they have kicked in yet and/or I am not convinced the dose is enough.
He doesn't like anyone knowing and we have lots of relatives landing for Christmas so I feel under immense pressure to keep the show on the road while distracting them from his meltdown in a room on his own, as usual making excuses for him, lying. I feel selfish even writing that-I will do anything to help him; I just don't know what that is any more and not sure I am up to it, even if I did know. He hasn't slept for 3 nights on the current run and only 2 nights in last fortnight and because he hasn't, neither have I. He is going back to the GP tomorrow so hopeful they may be able to do something to help him.