View Full Version : Quick reassurance needed
I was in the kitchen thinking something and went to the hallway but didn't know why I went in there. It took a few seconds but then I remembered it was to get some wipes for boys but can't be 100% please can someone help I've got an app at 4.10 but panicking
I forget things all the time. Only couple nights ago I even had to ask my hubby how old I was., and im not kidding ..
It was scary, but I'm learning to deal with things better.
I've just gone upstairs to get my bag and came down without it , it's normal and happens to everyone if it were anything serious you wouldn't even realise you were doing these things !! Others would notice but you'd be obvlivious x
spacebunnyx
17-12-13, 13:10
I always do this... when you're stressed out or doing too many things at once. Def something not to get anxious about! xxx
Maybe you do have memory issues Sean because you seem to have forgotten that you've asked about this exact same issue several times over the last few days.
This seems to be your new fixation.
I'm sorry to be harsh and unkind but you know I actually care about you as a person and if my phone wasn't still dead I'd ring you and say this and it would perhaps not sound so cruel if you could hear the tone of voice etc
But you are doing this over and over again. You say you are trying and in your own way maybe you are. But the thing is Sean, reading books and doing the online CBT won't do a damn thing unless you try to put some of it in to practise.
MrAndy gave you some fantastic links yesterday about discounted rate therapy and other great things, where is your post talking about what you saw on there? Where is your post about what you learned from the online CBT that honeylove and AuntieMoosie have both provided you with? Where's the post about what help you are going to ask your GP for and your plan of action?
I have a feeling that today you are just going to tell you GP about your memory worries again. Not push for help with the actual issue of anxiety. And that is really disheartening.
It was scary, but I'm learning to deal with things better.
Maybe you are, but in honesty I don't see it. Unless you take positive action you will be back here tomorrow with another concern.
I have said it before, but we are all here to support you, and would love to, but you have to help yourself first too.
---------- Post added at 13:46 ---------- Previous post was at 13:44 ----------
Tell us specifically what you are going to talk to the GP about? What questions are your going to ask? What support are you going to ask for?
Sean,
I saw your PM and the answer is no I do not. Definitely.
Now hon, take a look at this -
From May of 2012:
"Another big worry is that I think something then don't remember.... I sometimes find it hard to find words and obsess over whether I have lost something or forgot to do something.... Yesterday at work a colleague said something which I replied to. Then he said, don't you remember talking about this this morning. Last of all, I grabbed the washing up liquid the other day instead of juice, I quickly noticed but it ruined my day again"
Taken from this thread http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?p=994270#post994270
Read through that thread. Do you see how you had this "issue" before? Does that not tell you this isn't a new thing and that you have always forgotten stuff now and then, like every single person in the world?
And it should also tell you that you have been doing this to yourself for long enough.
Stressed32
17-12-13, 14:27
I have found myself looking for my phone...as I am talking on it! I have also found myself lost, literally lost while driving for just a few seconds bc I could not remember where I was going. I think we just get side tracked us all.
Thank you all, need this doctors app to just tell him all. Took my boys out for lunch to get some distraction and now I'm worse as know I thought about ice cream but then asked it and wondered if I said it before. Why is this happening. Does anyone else do this
Ok so lets look at this. Specifically what questions are you going to ask him and what specifically are you going to ask for by way of support?
Let's imagine a desirable outcome from this appointment - what would it look like?
---------- Post added at 15:17 ---------- Previous post was at 15:10 ----------
We have a little while before your appointment - let's work out a plan :)
Going to tell him that I literally cannot feel like this anymore. Show him my posts and tell him about the thoughts and how I need something to be done ASAP. This thing Bout the ice cream. Do you think people do this all the time but there brain isn't anxious like mine so it doesn't cross there mind. I know reassurance is bad but in this case before docs would take panic out
Sean hon,
I just answered that question phrased in different words very extensively through PM. Do I not help at all when I answer?
Right, I am not going to break my rule of offering reassurance. Here is what I think you should do.
1) Tell him you are completely desperate and falling apart mentally. Tell him what you have at stake in terms of your family and kids, and that you are desperate to make sure that you don't inflict pain on them and that you need urgent help.
2) Discuss the possibility of medication and ask their view on whether they think it would be helpful.
3) Discuss the fact that you feel the urge to visit the GPs every two minutes. Ask whether or not you can have monthly reviews of your anxiety and place to house any physical concerns that you have in order to stem the obsessive behaviour pattern you have fallen into. - Stick to it!!
4) Ask him NEVER to refer you for tests unless you need them in their objective opinion.
5) Ask for specific advice on strategies to manage your ansiety whilst you are waiting for referral/medication to kick in.
6) After your appointment write down what you have agreed and document it, add your own ideas such as exercise, not visiting here, not googling etc. as a plan - stick to it!
7) Give it 4 weeks (you arent going to die in that time) and visit them again see how you feel in relation to 4 weeks previously.
Sean hon,
I just answered that question phrased in different words very extensively through PM. Do I not help at all when I answer?
Sorry saw it just after I posted. Thanks Kate
Ok Chris am going to do that. May not work but brought a diary to show success from today
why wont it work...what are you asking for that is unreasonable? You are providing a strategy that will give them far less hassle because you wont be there every two minutes and gives you a plan of attack that you can work on.
At the moment you are herding cats, plaiting fog (choose whichever metaphor you like). You need a plan and you need to work on making it happen and stop coming up with reasons it won't
Sean I thought your appointment was supposed to be now? Did it get delayed?
The diary idea is a very good one
Couldn't make it and got one at 5.30 tomorrow long story
I'm actually at a loss for words on this one
I couldn't make it in the end and I need it badly but tomorrow I am prepared to discuss everything.
---------- Post added at 17:08 ---------- Previous post was at 17:07 ----------
I'm actually at a loss for words on this one
Kate, I literally couldn't make it because certain issues and when I spoke to them the woman was lovely and said she will fit me in tomorrow.
---------- Post added at 17:10 ---------- Previous post was at 17:08 ----------
I have gone for a very long walk and listened to music which has helped
---------- Post added at 17:11 ---------- Previous post was at 17:10 ----------
I can see how frustrating this is for everyone who has tried to help but believe me I do not do anything on purpose and will prove this
mike_coventry_uk
17-12-13, 17:11
Trust me,reassurance is the one thing u don't need! Every appointment,every person u ask for advice it all feeds the anxiety !
It is not easy and trust me I know! What you need is cbt! Have you had any already?
CBT not for three months. Starting the online one then just couldn't stop crying?
Sean I've been sat waiting for my husband to get home from work to take me to the urgent care centre because I've coughed blood up. I know all about certain issues.
You shouldn't have let us sit here giving advice (especially Chris who went in to great detail when he crazy busy at work)
I hope you feel better soon. I really do.
So sorry to you and Chris etc. I'm selfish but when I'm like this I can't think logically. I feel terrible. Let me know ASAP how you are. Know it's going to sound silly but I know someone that had that not long ago and it was nothing. You will be fine. Let me know.
Did you look at the anxiety uk website ?
Yes thank you for that link MrAndy. Was helpful and I have bookmarked it but my anxiety just takes over.
---------- Post added at 17:40 ---------- Previous post was at 17:37 ----------
A lot on there shows how many stress symptoms I have had as well
Yes thank you for that link MrAndy. Was helpful and I have bookmarked it but my anxiety just takes over.
Read it bit by bit when your feeling up to it
I think this will probably be the last I say, as to be honest any pearls of wisdom I may have can be found in previous posts.
I don't know what the reasons for postponing are, but I have to confess that it doesnt make sense to me. You make such phenomenally emotive posts that invariably result in 3+ pages of posts with a mixture of reassurance and support. You sound utterly desperate, but then you don't follow the options available to you to help you get better.
When I was in the pits with this, I dropped literally everything to do things to tackle it. I booked a GPs appointment, took a day off work to go, found a CBT therapist I liked (tried 2 before I found her) and paid privately to go there and have invested hundreds of pounds in feeling better than I did.
I just don't understand how you can go from posts that suggest that life is over, to lunch and ice cream and missed Drs appointments. I may be missing something but it just does not make sense to me.
So genuinely Sean I do wish you well, but I think I have possibly become unhelpful and will leave it to others who can perhaps try a different tack to get through to you.
Good luck and I sincerely hope that you follow your own rhetoric sooner rather than later and take some positive steps to get yourself better. With a wife and twins you have too much at stake to sit procrastinating and avoiding activity that may just work.
Sorry you feel like that and understand.
Financially I'm not in that position and GP wise I literally could not go. The lunch thing was distraction. I
---------- Post added at 18:10 ---------- Previous post was at 18:00 ----------
Thank you for your help though
Sean,
You don't have to apologise to us. You are the one suffering.
Like Chris, I would absolutely love to help you but it is clear at this stage that I am if anything hindering rather than helping.
You're a very nice guy underneath all those issues and I will stay in touch and cheer you on when you make those baby steps we discussed. But I won't be commenting on any threads like this in future.
All the best to you, genuinely
Thanks Kate, I am going to leave this forum genuinely until I'm better and in a position to help others. I'm suffering from anxiety and have decided going to the doctors is the wrong thing to do. I'm taking following steps.
Staying off internet which includes swapping my sim to an old phone without internet
Keeping a diary of improvements
Booking a doctors for one month today as a comfort but not going before as it's feeding me
Going to keep trying CBT and self help
Going to let this memory thing leave my brain by ignoring it until I forget about it (ha the one thing I'm worried about I'm trying to do)
I just spoke to a helpline, I'm 29 forgod sake until the op was fine but now I've all of a sudden got all these issues. My brain is playing tricks and instead of fighting it I'm going to try to ignore it.
I'm going swimming and playing football with friends on football. Each time I think off illness I'll just say I can't do anything until doctors and hopefully by then I may not even need it. These memory issues are the same as last time I had anxiety This bad and guess what they went.
Thanks Kate. Chris, Fishmanpa etc
Your truly incredible people and I wish you the best for the future. When we are old and have real issues we can have a good moan then ha
hangingbasket
17-12-13, 20:39
I have been reading your posts for a while and havent commented as I have nothing helpful to add. I still dont, but I will say I'm not in the slightest bit surprised you didnt go to the doctors today. I had already realised before you said you couldnt go, that you wouldnt go. And now not tomorrow either. I'm also not sure if saying you're leaving this forum... again... is hoping people will beg you to stay, or worry about your mental health. I'm very sorry if this sounds offensive. It's not supposed to be. I dont know you and mean you now harm at all. It just seems like your erratic and self destructive behaviour has lost you the people who were desperately trying to help you and that is sad.
No offence but your wrong because I will not be coming back on here. If you think I'm looking for attention and people begging me to stay then you are as wrong as can be. And no you don't know me. The reason I am cancelling my appointment is because I have put a plan in place as I have been so many times and don't want to be selfish anymore.
And it's not sad at all, to be honest people can make up there own mind in me and I know that I haven't lost people like Kate but understand why they are sick of me on here.
I have never posted with a proper plan like the one above. I was actually proud of myself for cancelling the doctors appointment. I've never done that so thanks mystic meg for predicting that when I've been something like 15 times in two months. In future please don't say anything if your intention is to piss someone off, thanks though.[COLOR="blue"]
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hangingbasket
17-12-13, 21:17
I wasnt intending to piss you off, or anyone else for that matter and I apologise if that was the effect.
The point I was trying to make is that if you carry on like this, you will lose the friends you have made here because they will get sick of going out of their way to help you when you wont help yourself and they are giving you the same advice several times a day which is falling on deaf ears.
Good luck!
Thank you[COLOR="blue"]
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Yeah, we're still friends Sean. I just wont do threads like this anymore (and thats not just you but the whole forum really)
I don't think hangingbasket was trying to mean. I know it sounds that way when you're at the other end of it. But I think that, to someone who has only your internet posts to go by, it can look as though you post about seeing the doc for help and CBT etc to get approval off us (which wouldn't be surprising since we HA sufferers often have low self esteem) and not because you actually want to.
It also comes across on many of your posts that you don't really believe that your problem is anxiety. I've said that to you before so it's not new. You really believe you have something awful just waiting for you and that your anxiety is just a red herring. So why at this stage would you make serious efforts to beat the HA, if you don't believe with all your heart that you have a problem with it?
Doesn't mean you're bad person (you're not. You are infact a sweetheart when you are half way rational) but it does mean you need to grab all the help you can and really stick to your plan.
I *think* that's the gist of what hangingbasket meant.
---------- Post added at 21:27 ---------- Previous post was at 21:23 ----------
Freaking hell. If anyone saw my spelling/grammar there before editing I can only apologise.
It's what happens when I type with a sleeping baby on top of me.
Yep I understand that completely but for me I posted this as a definite plan and I was proud to be able to cancel doctors which meAns finally I can see it's health anxiety for sure. Something happened when I went for a walk and I've promised myself. Which is why I took post wrong why and apologised. To be honest I am at the point where deep down I know I haven't got anything physically wrong with me but ha has crippled me. I looked at posts about my brain and there identical to last years when nothing was wrong. So that's that and here's to the future
If you've really understood that then that is a massive step forward Sean and I'm certain that most people on this board will literally poo themselves in delight to see you making progress.
Everyone wants you to get better. Even the ones who may seem hard on you. Actually, ESPECIALLY the ones who seem hard on you really.
hangingbasket
17-12-13, 21:38
I wasnt trying to be mean at all. If you're posting on here... you are asking for other's opinions and that is what I gave.
I understand how crippling HA can be... I TOTALLY get it! I've been irrational and erratic for a long time myself.
It just seems as if you beg for advice and reassurance, yet completely ignore it. Wanting attention is not a bad thing at all. We all want attention at some point and I wasnt aware you cancelled the appointment. I was just going on your earlier post where you said that something came up and you rearranged for tomorrow. I obviously missed the post where you said you'd cancelled rather than just not being able to make it.
If you have a plan, that's excellent and I hope you start to feel better soon. All I was trying to do is offer my input by saying that you will lose the help offered on here with such erratic and contradictory posts!
Thank you hangingbasket, sorry to respond like I did. I'm not myself at the moment and completely understand everything you have said and agree. I'm literally going to fight this now and the steps are starting now. I just had one of them moments of did I think or say that and I'm putting it straight down to anxiety like the rest. I'm saying to myself that sooner I do this the sooner I will be looking back and realising what I was putting myself through. When I come back hopefully the people that have been there so much for me will see that I didn't mean some of the posts and I did listen. I've got a part in my phone with links and even text myself some of the posts on here to encourage me. Anyways time to watch football and get some sleep for a fresh day.
I wasnt aware you cancelled the appointment. I was just going on your earlier post where you said that something came up and you rearranged for tomorrow. I obviously missed the post where you said you'd cancelled rather than just not being able to make it.
I think I missed something. If I had any energy left I think I'd try harder to work out what it was. :unsure:
hangingbasket
17-12-13, 22:08
Sorry kate... think it's me making it confusing. I was thinking that he just couldnt make the appointment (Sure I saw earlier that something came up and was arranged for 5.30 tomorrow instead)... I wasnt aware that it was cancelled as a part of a new plan.
No babe, it's not you!
---------- Post added at 22:13 ---------- Previous post was at 22:09 ----------
Couldn't make it and got one at 5.30 tomorrow long story
He did say it. Thought so.
Mystery solved. lol
Edited to add - not that it matters. I was simply wondering if I was going crazy as I thought I remembered it too.
But Sean has a plan now and is getting his head together so hopefully there will be a happy ending soon.
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