anx2005
18-12-13, 19:24
Wow- why me? I have been doing so very well with managing this debilitating thing called anxiety. I have even bragged recently that I am cured. I knew when I said that the little demon would sneak up and attack again. It would say, "oh you are never cured little girl. I will always be here lurking in the back ground."
I was looking at Christmas presents online. Maybe that is what started it. All of the sudden my cheek (just under my right eye) became a little numb and itchy. It just sent me over the edge. I am at work, so I ran to the bathroom because my anxiety always causes that. Sat in there and tried to get it under control. What a mess. Went for a walk. Took my Blood Pressure, Pulse, Oxygen level. I am a nurse so I start doing all the cognitive and physical tests on myself for a stroke, took a smidgen of my Ativan pill which I haven't taken in a year. I swear I must have taken 1/100 of a milligram as small as that dust particle was. I am so ticked off that I am letting this get the best of me. Its the what ifs...
What if I die at work. What if I have a stroke/heart attack/lose my mind at work. What if the Ativan loops me out since its been so long or makes me fall asleep. I finally let my co-worker go to lunch. I was freaked something might happen to me while she was gone or that I might go in to severe panic attack mode. I know this is my problem alone to bear but any advice on getting through the days like this without leaving work early? I hate leaving work early. Esp when my Christmas vacation starts in 2 days. I don't want them to think I am faking anything. I feel sick right now, nauseated. Then I think is it my anxiety or a problem. My chest has been hurting off and on for a week. Is it a heart attack? What if's!!!! They get the best of me sometimes!!!
I was looking at Christmas presents online. Maybe that is what started it. All of the sudden my cheek (just under my right eye) became a little numb and itchy. It just sent me over the edge. I am at work, so I ran to the bathroom because my anxiety always causes that. Sat in there and tried to get it under control. What a mess. Went for a walk. Took my Blood Pressure, Pulse, Oxygen level. I am a nurse so I start doing all the cognitive and physical tests on myself for a stroke, took a smidgen of my Ativan pill which I haven't taken in a year. I swear I must have taken 1/100 of a milligram as small as that dust particle was. I am so ticked off that I am letting this get the best of me. Its the what ifs...
What if I die at work. What if I have a stroke/heart attack/lose my mind at work. What if the Ativan loops me out since its been so long or makes me fall asleep. I finally let my co-worker go to lunch. I was freaked something might happen to me while she was gone or that I might go in to severe panic attack mode. I know this is my problem alone to bear but any advice on getting through the days like this without leaving work early? I hate leaving work early. Esp when my Christmas vacation starts in 2 days. I don't want them to think I am faking anything. I feel sick right now, nauseated. Then I think is it my anxiety or a problem. My chest has been hurting off and on for a week. Is it a heart attack? What if's!!!! They get the best of me sometimes!!!