phil6
19-12-13, 09:20
I am 60 years old and again find myself in the pit of anxiety and depression.
I have started medications again. This time trying mirtazapine for the first time.
I am also in the midst of CBT.
I had a very good day yesterday although very tired due to the mirtazapine.
My mind felt free to watch the TV and relax a little.
This morning I wake and managed to bring on my anxiety with some thoughts that I have learnt to recognise.
The obvious thought was have I got anxiety or is it coming back. And of course it starts my stomach churning, and then the negative thoughts pile in.
However, cutting through all the rubbish that my mind is coming up with, I do feel that the underlying activity in my mind is all about finding a solution, a way to think that it can accept and go forward with. My mind simply requires that I find an answer to the problem. An answer to the questions, what am I doing wrong, how am I thinking incorrectly. It almost demands to find answers to these questions so that my body can calm down.
I am sure I have come up with this before but I do believe that the trying to find an answer is actually the problem. Is it just that there is no answer. Is it simply that my mind cannot accept that I do not have and will never have a solution.
This feels right and so I should stop trying, but when I think this my mind won't have it. It accepts this for less than a second and then wants to clarify the situation, in other words it wants to know that this is the solution....
Just how do I convince my thinking mind that it doesn't need a solution. It just needs to stop trying to find one, and that is the solution.
This is such a paradox.
Sorry if this seems a little deep, but I post it as I believe it is at the bottom of much of the faulty thinking which maintains anxiety and depression.
I would be interested in your thoughts.
And just to say.... Why am I posting this? It because my mind wants reassurance.... It's a real child isn't it.
Phil
I have started medications again. This time trying mirtazapine for the first time.
I am also in the midst of CBT.
I had a very good day yesterday although very tired due to the mirtazapine.
My mind felt free to watch the TV and relax a little.
This morning I wake and managed to bring on my anxiety with some thoughts that I have learnt to recognise.
The obvious thought was have I got anxiety or is it coming back. And of course it starts my stomach churning, and then the negative thoughts pile in.
However, cutting through all the rubbish that my mind is coming up with, I do feel that the underlying activity in my mind is all about finding a solution, a way to think that it can accept and go forward with. My mind simply requires that I find an answer to the problem. An answer to the questions, what am I doing wrong, how am I thinking incorrectly. It almost demands to find answers to these questions so that my body can calm down.
I am sure I have come up with this before but I do believe that the trying to find an answer is actually the problem. Is it just that there is no answer. Is it simply that my mind cannot accept that I do not have and will never have a solution.
This feels right and so I should stop trying, but when I think this my mind won't have it. It accepts this for less than a second and then wants to clarify the situation, in other words it wants to know that this is the solution....
Just how do I convince my thinking mind that it doesn't need a solution. It just needs to stop trying to find one, and that is the solution.
This is such a paradox.
Sorry if this seems a little deep, but I post it as I believe it is at the bottom of much of the faulty thinking which maintains anxiety and depression.
I would be interested in your thoughts.
And just to say.... Why am I posting this? It because my mind wants reassurance.... It's a real child isn't it.
Phil