fighting doesnt work

[hangingbasket]

Does anyone agree with me on this? I've been told hundreds of times that the key to overcoming anxiety is to fight it. I disagree with this. I don't think healing can begin until the day you stop fighting.
For months I was getting annoyed with myself trying to push the panic out of my head. Trying to fight away the thoughts of me being seriously ill, trying to ignore the symptoms and physical aches and pains. I couldn't do it. The more I tried to ignore it and fight it, the more it fought back and the more I thought about it. If anything, fighting made it worse.
I'm not cured, I never will be, but I'm a hell of a lot more rational now I don't fight anxiety.
Now when I wake up with morning jitters, instead of trying to ignore them and make them go away, I acknowledge them. I let myself become aware that I am having a feeling, and it goes away.
Obviously there are times when it becomes too overwhelming and I have a bad couple of days but on the whole, I'm a lot better now.
Don't get into fights with yourself, you'll never win.

[Brunette]

You are right. The key to overcoming anxiety is to accept it - fighting it just perpetuates it.

[Fishmanpa]

I think it depends on your definition of "fight". When I say fight, I mean don't accept that the way you are now is the way it's going to be the rest of your life. It means to take some sort of action to stop the cycle. Fighting doesn't always mean winning the war but you can win a few battles for sure.

If you fight the fact that you have an illness called anxiety, then I see your point entirely. Acceptance is a key to winning the battles. But in my definition fighting is not accepting your current state on mind and doing something about it.

Positive thoughts

[katesa]

I agree with you in the same way that fishmanpa does hangingbasket - acceptance is the biggest part of healing from this illness and I think that's what you mean.

What I think we do need to fight is the urge to do things that make us worse.

[hangingbasket]

Fighting the urge to Google and prod and poke is very important, but what I meant was trying to fight the worries away and ignore them without acceptance and dealing with them is a no win situation.

[Fishmanpa]

Fighting the urge to Google and prod and poke is very important, but what I meant was trying to fight the worries away and ignore them without acceptance and dealing with them is a no win situation.

I agree 100%... fighting the things that feed the anxiety. Fighting back because you don't want to feel bad anymore. That's what I'm referring to when I say fight. Avoidance is not the answer.

Positive thoughts

[katesa]

Fighting the urge to Google and prod and poke is very important, but what I meant was trying to fight the worries away and ignore them without acceptance and dealing with them is a no win situation.

That's what I thought you meant - I agree completely. Well put

[saab]

I don't think actively fighting anxiety works for most people. The more you concentrate on thoughts, the more they persist. If someone tells you NOT to think of unicorns, you can't help but to think of unicorns. The more you try not to be anxious, the more adrenaline you release, the more the anxiety persists.

If you relax and accept the anxious feelings, adrenaline disperses in your body and the panic subsides. This is the method taught in Claire Weeks' books, like Self Help for Your Nerves. You try to accept the physical symptoms like tremours or sweating, and float through the mental feelings. That book is such an outstanding book, I think the NHS should give it away free.

Fighting means tension, more adrenaline, and more symptoms. Acceptance means letting go, relaxing as best you can and letting your body do it's thing.

I have started meditating and acceptance is a large part of Buddhist meditation too. As you meditate you accept whatever feelings and sensations are within your body, and try to be present in that moment, without getting caught up in wanting your mind or body to be this way or that way.

The Tara Brach website and the Insight timer app have some excellent free guided meditations. I have found them really helpful.

[Fishmanpa]

You know HBasket,

You may not think so but you're doing pretty darn well. In many of your recent posts, you express a doubt and then a rational thought about it. You weren't doing that not too long ago. Just thought I'd tell you I see an improvement. Whatever you're doing it's starting to work ;)

Positive thoughts

[hangingbasket]

You know how great that is to hear? Thank you!!!

I have definitely seen an improvement. A few months ago I couldnt see any rational side to my fears at all. I was dying and that was that. Then I lost my mum. She was only 55 and died of breast cancer. It put things into perspective a bit I suppose. Watching someone deteriorate so quickly... my worries meant nothing.

I really am trying to get better. I've done cbt and am currently working through an online programme that kate posted a link to recently. I'm on medication, I've read a couple of overcoming health anxiety books, I've cut out caffiene, drink plenty of water, get a bit of excercise. The only thing I cant quite get to work for me is the relaxation. I got a cd from the cbt course I did. It's progressive muscle relaxation. I tried it religiously for a few months but it frustrated me because I just couldnt do it. I ended up getting so worked up about not doing it properly that I gave it up. Maybe that's something I could look at again.

Anyway... thank you so much for saying you've seen an improvement! I have too but it's great to hear it from someone else!! :)