View Full Version : So embarrassed!?
Just got a new phone number
But havnt got old phone to text people to say number so I sent people messages on new phone saying this is emma:
Texted someone from work saying this is emma but no reply back- what if he don't believe it's me- I texted my old number saying don't use this number in the message.
No reply.
So embarrassed and now got to wait two weeks to explain and he might not talk to me now :(
nomorepanic
20-12-13, 21:41
Why does it matter?
I never reply to people that send me a new phone number. I just update it in my phone.
You are over-analysing things again Emma
Can no longer use: 077******** ok emma x
This is my number from now on. Got new phone . Emma x
I sent this. No reply
---------- Post added at 21:43 ---------- Previous post was at 21:42 ----------
Yer I know Nicola.
I guess I'm just scared he will think its not me as I don't have my old phone to text on it to verify and I kinda want to speak to him over the holidays lol....
---------- Post added at 21:46 ---------- Previous post was at 21:43 ----------
I'm embarrassed :(
Two weeks to and worried he'll text on my old number and then wonder why I'm not replying
Emma I am like Nicola, I don't reply to people who send me new numbers, I just add them to my contacts. He will know it is you and use your new number if he needs to contact you.
Ok :(
I just feel like a prat now though lol.
If that was you would you believe it
Yes I would believe it, no need for you to feel bad or embarrassed about it, you have done what everyone else would do. xx
Thanks Annie,
Keep picturing him sending a message to my old number to which I won't get and him wondering why I'm not replying then being mad back at work and ignoring me (his that type of person ) and I don't want to be ignored by him. Hmm
Because sometimes when you get a message of an unknown number you don't always take note of it do you because some people don't trust who it is.
Am I really over thinking this and should just have a glass of water and calm down? Grrrr.
Will go look at the photos instead.
You are over thinking! You could always send another message on Christmas eve or Christmas day just saying 'Happy Christmas from Emma' Go and look at the pictures :D
Thanks Annie I will. This has upset me though :(
You're overthinking this. If I got a message from someone with their new number I would just update my contacts, I would not reply to them.
If he doesn't believe you then he will if you don't reply from the old number!
Thanks.
Last night after work he messages happy Xmas will text u in new year.
Urgh idk - I just know I'm a bit iffy if I get a text from an unknown number- I messaged my old number as kinda proof it's me just expected a reply.
Sorry for rambling on I do appreciate everyone's trying to help me-
:)
---------- Post added at 22:12 ---------- Previous post was at 22:11 ----------
Maybe it's time to go to bed lol
Hi Emma,
You are over-analysing which is natural with anxiety. Perhaps you can replace the though with something more positive. For example; Imagine you having a nice friendly conversation next time you meet him. Picture both of you smiling.
About the message itself. I also never reply a message about a number change. Now if I had more than one emma on my phone I will reply the message (replying the new number will be the smart thing to do right?) to enquire exactly who it is....
Thank you,
Well still no reply. Number must be working as two people replied to it.
Maybe he does think its fake :(
Can see it being bad when I go back to work x
---------- Post added at 23:16 ---------- Previous post was at 23:15 ----------
I'm pretty sure he would reply and it's a bad thing he hasn't
nomorepanic
20-12-13, 23:17
Emma
3 of us have now told you we NEVER reply to a message telling us a new phone number so why is it such a big thing really?
EMMA STOP IT!! LOL He won't have replied because there was no need to :D Stop stressing about it...chill! How many people have told you they wouldn't reply to new number notification? No offence to men but they are even less likely to reply. My husband wouldn't reply to any message unless I asked a question :)
nomorepanic
20-12-13, 23:28
Emma - Can you tell us exactly what your CBT involved, what they did, what they told you to do and what you have done etc?
Emma - Can you tell us exactly what your CBT involved, what they did, what they told you to do and what you have done etc?
I'd be interested to know this too because to be honest Emma, either you haven't taken it on or your therapist got their qualifications from the back of a cereal box.
You haven't done anything unusual here. Your colleague doesn't know anything about your thoughts. All he knows is that you sent him your new number, and he hopes you have a nice Christmas. There is nothing to be embarrassed about so please try and relax your brain during your Christmas break. Would keeping busy help?
Emma. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but many people (myself included) have offered you advice, tips and practical suggestions on how to help yourself and your anxiety, and half the time you don't even bother to reply to them. People are taking the time to help you and to be honest, when I offer help that many times and it's ignored, I feel a bit like it's a slap in the face. I have spoken about cbt and tried to get you to put it into practice. I have suggested ways of meeting new people and finding friends. I have suggested ways of finding accommodation so that you can remove yourself from your current situation.
I've been back over your threads and any time someone offers something, you ignore it and don't add anything more to the thread. Why? Why ask for help if you are just going to overlook what people say?
We all know it's difficult and many of us are still fighting anxiety on a regular basiS, but the only way to take positive steps forward is to help yourself. You can't sit around talking about being anxious just waiting for it to one day disappear. You need to put into practise a number of things, which people have suggested. IF you want to get better, YOU have to take charge and responsibility. Noone else can. You're not helping yourself posting on here endless times and not taking anything on board, because, as we can all see from your posts, there'll be something else the next day. You need to start challenging your thoughts.
You've been offered great advice and support here and you don't take any of it. You've been saying for ages that you don't have any friends and have nothing to do - so get out there and meet people. They aren't going to come knocking on your door looking for you.
People here are willing to support you, as you can see, but they can only do so much. The real work has to come from you.
And to prove my point - no replies, thank yous etc to people.
I'm out. There's only so many times I can give support for it to be thrown back. It upsets me that I thought I was doing good by helping, but obviously my help isn't needed / isn't good enough.
Bye.
Chill out and relax. As others said, most people don't txt back when they get a new number sent. I never do and don't expect people to. Also not replying to txts isn't a big deal, lost count of the times i've read a txt and just put my phone back in my pocket without replying. I don't want to be mean but you seem a bit of a bunny boiler!
harasgenster
23-12-13, 20:53
Hi Emma - this is EXACTLY the kind of thing I would have thought when I had anxiety! You're mindreading because you expect to 'mess up' in some way and alienate other people. That's what you're afraid of here, but everyone else is right, there's no reason to suspect that he will be angry with you. And if he is, I think that's a bit odd. You've done the right thing, so there's no reason for you to worry.
And I don't want to start an argument, but Jesus...I realise a lot of people here suffer from health anxiety and maybe don't know what's it's like to suffer from other sorts of anxiety but just because it would never bother you doesn't mean it isn't terrifying to other people. Let's not call someone else a 'bunny boiler' or get frustrated when someone has an irrational thought that makes them feel hurt that you can't relate to. I can't relate to anyone being afraid of a sore throat, but I don't take the piss.
I understand exactly where Emma is coming from because I've been there and this kind of thing would have stopped me sleeping for days. But I was being irrational because I assumed I would be rejected by other people and was simply waiting to upset other people or mess up relationships because in my head I was always going to be alone. Think about why a person is afraid before you begin sentences with "I don't want to be mean but..."!
Hi Emma - this is EXACTLY the kind of thing I would have thought when I had anxiety! You're mindreading because you expect to 'mess up' in some way and alienate other people. That's what you're afraid of here, but everyone else is right, there's no reason to suspect that he will be angry with you. And if he is, I think that's a bit odd. You've done the right thing, so there's no reason for you to worry.
And I don't want to start an argument, but Jesus...I realise a lot of people here suffer from health anxiety and maybe don't know what's it's like to suffer from other sorts of anxiety but just because it would never bother you doesn't mean it isn't terrifying to other people. Let's not call someone else a 'bunny boiler' or get frustrated when someone has an irrational thought that makes them feel hurt that you can't relate to. I can't relate to anyone being afraid of a sore throat, but I don't take the piss.
I understand exactly where Emma is coming from because I've been there and this kind of thing would have stopped me sleeping for days. But I was being irrational because I assumed I would be rejected by other people and was simply waiting to upset other people or mess up relationships because in my head I was always going to be alone. Think about why a person is afraid before you begin sentences with "I don't want to be mean but..."!
As i said i didn't want to be mean, just stating the truth. Having read some of her previous topics i think she just posts stuff for the sake of it.
As i said i didn't want to be mean, just stating the truth. Having read some of her previous topics i think she just posts stuff for the sake of it.
To a lot of people they may seem like little trivial things but we have to remember that for others they are a cause of high anxiety.
harasgenster
23-12-13, 22:05
As i said i didn't want to be mean, just stating the truth. Having read some of her previous topics i think she just posts stuff for the sake of it.
From what I've read she's in an incredible difficult life situation right now and under extremely high stress.
We shouldn't get frustrated at people for 'not helping themselves', because not everyone has the resources right this minute to do that - the mental resources, the confidence etc. Some people find it very hard to help themselves through some of the (great) techniques that are discussed here because they are too ill to do so. I'm sick of seeing those who are well enough to engage in things like CBT and changing their lives shaming those who are too ill to do so on this site. You can only be so 'mad' to be here can't you? If you're too 'mad', you're just annoying and weird. If you haven't got anything supportive to say to someone, it's better not to reply.
From what I've read she's in an incredible difficult life situation right now and under extremely high stress.
We shouldn't get frustrated at people for 'not helping themselves', because not everyone has the resources right this minute to do that - the mental resources, the confidence etc. Some people find it very hard to help themselves through some of the (great) techniques that are discussed here because they are too ill to do so. I'm sick of seeing those who are well enough to engage in things like CBT and changing their lives shaming those who are too ill to do so on this site. You can only be so 'mad' to be here can't you? If you're too 'mad', you're just annoying and weird. If you haven't got anything supportive to say to someone, it's better not to reply.
Fair enough, I'm not trying to shame anyone. Most of what you wrote isn't me so no idea why you're saying it.
Evening all,
Havnt been on this site for a few weeks now (been taking a break although have been lurking) and decided now is the right time to reply to this thread...
I REALLY try to help my self out...
If people view posts of mine from two years ago they can see how bad I was! I have become a lot lot lot better since then (for example if I hit my head I no longer worry I'm going to drop down dead in the next 24 hours).
Sometimes though however much you try to help your self out theirs only so much you can do.
I really do try before I post on here about anything and when I am posting I have tried writing down on my iPad notes:
What's the worst that can happen ie if I'm worrying about cancer (death - would be the worst)
I try deep breathing
I try distraction
Etc etc. but it doesn't always work for me.
I do not post things for the sake of it,
For example I don't have a phobia of sick but some people do and they post about it because they worry about it- well I worry about things like this- we all worry about different things so its not any different (if that makes sense)
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