View Full Version : My last week
Hi everyone,
I'm back, being off has not help and I really need people to talk to.
I am having the worst time off my life and yesterday was the first time I seriously thought is it really worth it. I have been having panic attacks, got a disciplinary at work, lost a thousand pound bonus, and have only wanted to sleep.
Every thing I do is a black hole. I have begged my doctor for help, started beta blockers, called the CBT people and asked them for any emergency slots, called 111, kept trying the free CBT, and basically just cried.
Yesterday I really tried to have a normal day and got a massively high score on a work check so told people. At 5.30 I spoke to someone and said about it when he said oh you told me earlier. It took me a minute but remember it quite clearly but had a panic attack as didn't know why I didn't remember straight away. I then couldn't breath and was sick. That's when I went into a deep depression because I was feeling a bit better up until them. I then googled like I was self destructing and basically kept seeing dementia and that doctors often miss it with young people.
I don't know what to do anymore, I really don't. I have tried I really have.
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I've never need people to talk to more than now, I truly see that as a sign what happened yesterday. I used to think there was a god of some sought but I've lost all faith. Just before Christmas. I would honestly prefer being shot and lying in hospital than this hell, I'm not joking. Sounds selfish but I feel it's over. I am trying so hard.
Ok first and foremost if you feel suicidal then you must seek help right away and tell someone that you feel that way. I don't sense from your post that is quite where you are at, but that is one decision that sure ain't reversible.
Ok, now what is it you are anxious about? Still this memory thing?
Well presumably you mentioned this to your GP and they were unconcerned? What evidence do you have at all to suggest that it might be the result of something sinister? What evidence do you have to suggest that it is probably the result of extreme anxiety? How do those two things balance one another out?
Willous, you need a tool to help you bring the feelings of panic under control.
I use Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), which is a strange looking tapping technique but works incredibly well to reduce panic and anxiety. Since I learned it I have not had a full blown panic attack in several years.
This video will teach you how to do it, it's basically tapping on different points while focusing on your feelings. It's very easy, watch the video a few times and learn the technique then start using is straight away when you next feel anxiety creeping up on you:
http://youtu.be/ZeYkItpMkoQ
mummyanxious
21-12-13, 08:57
Have you tried meditation? I have a progressive muscle relaxation cd and it really is very good.
You need to give yourself a break. One good day does not mean you're cured. This is the awful thing about about anxiety. You can be having a great few hours and think yeah I can so this and then one very small thing or feeling can happen and you're back at square one.
I remember being like you a few years ago. Its exhausting. I've not read all your posts before so please forgive me if I'm asking same questions but have you had any kind of medication? I was very anti medication. I tried it and it made me worse. The only thing I did try that took the edge off and have me breathing space from the instant cycle of adrenalin was diazepam. Perhaps discussing with the dr? Could they sign you off work for a little while?
Finally this time of year is not good for anxiety sufferers. Personally I haven't had a full panic for a long time but food shopping yesterday I felt dreadful and so very on edge. Its the extra people, the stras if getting everything ready and just the pressure to 'be happy its Christmas'
Hope you manage to find something to help.
Thanks for replies, I am on Citilopram 40mg and Propanol. Plus have little bit of Diazapam left.
I have been looking into meditation as am needing to try any path that may work.
Sometimes I can look logically, at work I was having a conversation with a colleague had a call then forgot what we were talking about but I know thats normal and he couldnt remember either and thats without anxiety but sometimes I panic.
Thanks for that video Honey, I am going to look at that later when at home.
CPE, to be honest where my memory is so bad I keep thinking my doctor is wrong and where I went into self destruct and googled I lost it and panicked. Something said that you should never be evaluated by your doctor. This second I forgot what me and someone were talking about then he reminded me it was the XFACTOR.Thing is.....soon as they tell me I do remember original conversation. I feel if I could get passed this memory thing I would be a million times better.
Hi Sean,
You have absolutely no reason to think that your "forgetfulness" is anything other than completely normal - if there is a reason behind it, it's your anxiety. I've said so often, but I do things like that every single day.
Now, as for losing faith, preferring to be shot etc - This may sound harsh but you need to get some perspective here. Your problems are all in your mind. Nobody has told you that you have any reason at all to worry. You have two lovely little twins, a pretty wife, a job (for now!) and a home. Besides your mental issues, you are a healthy young man. Why, oh why would you rather be shot than get some help to see that your physical illness is imaginary?
nomorepanic
21-12-13, 11:47
Sean
This is from the symptoms page on the left:
Having difficulty concentrating, repetitive thinking or incessant 'mind chatter'
What you feel:
Normal tasks seem hard to focus on, or that your concentration is a lot shorter now than before. You may also start something, and uncharacteristically forget what you were doing soon after. You may also have difficulty remembering where you placed things, who you just called, or what you were looking for or thinking about.
Your mind is racing all the time, and it never stops its chatter. Even when you are trying to relax your mind is going a million miles and hour. Sometimes songs will pop up that you can't get out or your mind, and you sing them all day long.
What causes this:
High stress biology and an over stimulated nervous system will often cause us to think rapidly and incessantly. Many refer to it as 'unceasing mind chatter'. It's this fast paced unfocused thought generation that impairs the memory and concentration. Since high stress biology produces natural stimulants, these continual doses of stimulants make it difficult to focus because the body and mind are so agitated. As the stress biology and nervous system calm down, normal thinking patterns re-establish and this symptom subsides.
However, as long as the stress biology and nervous system are over active, individuals will continue to experience this condition. It will come and go and most often depends upon how the body is reacting at that time.
Another consideration is that for those who have been experiencing anxiety disorder for some time, may have established a mental habit of internal focus.
This is where they become so focused on their ill health that they are easily distracted by it and the pursuit to regain their normal health that they quickly lose interest in what they are doing and refocus their minds back on their problem. This action can be so automatic that the individual may not even realize that that's what they are doing.
Unfortunately, when this symptom appears, many become frightened by and think that they may be losing their mind or experiencing a serious mental illness. This adds more stress biology which only prolongs the symptom.
When this symptom appears, try not to react with fear, but remember that it is only a symptom, and that it is telling you that you need to rest the nervous system so that you can regain your concentration ability. Once you have sufficiently rested your nervous system, your concentration will return to normal.
Thank you that really helps,
I was jsut doing some admin work. Was putting plan note on but couldnt remember actually changing the address about 30 seconds before. Does that sound normal.
Thanks Kate, your right but the way I have been feeling is horrific.
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What ever the last memory thing that happens is always the worst and the rest I can calm down about. Does this make sense, for the last 15 minutes I have been obsessing over this admin issue. I think I put password in, wrote plan note and took a call. When I went back didn not remember changing address. Is that a concentration issue and just normal. This site is helping me so so much today. I have been so ill and calming a bit.
Sean,
I'm saying this with your best interest at heart.
This is beyond the rights or wrongs of reassurance seeking etc. You need help, the sort of which nobody on here can provide. I think you are in danger of losing your grip on reality entirely and although I am not a doctor, I would be very surprised if there was not some psychosis going on.
Please please please get help. Real help. Not posting on the web. Real, professional help.
Ok can I just ask one more thing. I was on my last call and said something then a minute later said same thing. I now keep wondering if I did say first time. Can someone please answer. I am getting some psychological help
Sean, I have no doubt that you feel horrible. You say that this is the worst that you've ever felt, yet I can go back and look at many prior posts where "this is the worst you've felt". You must know that this is only anxiety. You have sought reassurance about it in so many posts and the people on here have unanimously told you that it is normal and nothing to worry about.
I have no doubt that you really need people to talk with, but no one on here can help you. Why? Because you are either unable or unwilling to listen. You say you're trying the CBT. What exactly does that mean? How much have you read? Are you taking notes? Are you practicing what you have learned? How many pages have you actually read?
Meditation is something that has been mentioned to you many times before. Have you downloaded or bought a book or a video? Have you gone to YouTube and found one and practiced it everyday?
Have you practiced acceptance?
What are you doing every day to help your real illness, which is anxiety? I would like specific well thought out answers to all of the questions above?
Thismis just my opinion for what it's worth. I think it's time to check yourself into a hospital or facility that deals with mental issues such as anxiey and panic. An extended stay facility, if you will. I'm not sure in the UK what the process is for this, but if you truly suicidal, ( which I don't think that you are), then anything less than this is a selfish action on your part. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but think of what you are putting your family and yourself through. It's starting to seem rather obvious that you are not in a position to help yourself at the moment. Without professional help, this truly will become the worst day, week, month ever.
It's time for serious help and intervention, Sean. Something that in your presentnstate of mind, you can't get on this board.
Remember that I would really like for you to answer the questions above. They are important.
When we talk about dementia do we mean repeating while things and is mentioning something quickly twice in one conversation just concentration? Haven't asked for reassurance in a while but much needed
---------- Post added at 13:42 ---------- Previous post was at 13:40 ----------
As I said on above board I really have tried, the CBT helps for periods but will take time. Meditation I am trying today.
---------- Post added at 13:43 ---------- Previous post was at 13:42 ----------
The nhs will not help and privately I just don't have enough money
Sean, you state that you haven't asked for reassurance in awhile and it's much needed. I beg to differ, Sean. Asking for reassurance is what you use this board for, continuously.
Did you even read my post to you? Where are the answers to the specific questions that I asked you?
You are just trying meditation today? Really? After how many weeks and months of it being suggested to you?
People here are trying to help you and you can't bother to respond. There is a reason for my questions, Sean. Re-read my post above and please respond.
Painful thing is I could never kill myself because I so scared of dying where as some people put themselves out of misery easily. I want to fight this. As I said I have tried a lot. I really have and am still doing the CBT etc but always crying.
My wife knows nothing I hide it as she doesn't understand and I am always happy when with my boys. I Have to hide it for them/
---------- Post added at 13:53 ---------- Previous post was at 13:49 ----------
I will respond I need to go through it properly and will respond in a minute. I am asking for reassurance to above as so important.
You don't need reassurance. You need professional help. Reassurance will not help. That kind of help I will not give. It only hurts you in the long run.
nomorepanic
21-12-13, 13:55
It is not important really and there is no point us giving reassurance as it is short lived.
You need to work through this yourself really Sean
Can I just ask about above please. I am reading posts and will reply. I had plan and to be fair stayed of here but it made me worse
Hi everyone,
Yesterday I really tried to have a normal day and got a massively high score on a work check so told people.
I was feeling a bit better up until them.
Funny there were glimpses in your original post which would suggest quite the opposite. Sounds like you have been making small steps which are fine. Shouldn't expect huge leaps.
hangingbasket
21-12-13, 14:16
I don't understand how you are able to hide this from your wife and children? During the time I suffered terribly, I couldn't hide it. It consumed every waking moment. If you can hide it surely that must tell you you have anxiety and nothing more.
I don't think people are prepared to offer you reassurance anymore on the same thing time after time.
Just small things put me back. I am trying and do see glimpses but whilst I'm on this road to recovery it seems reassurance does help. I only ask when really needed now.
I hide it because I'm out all day and go to bed when at home. When I'm with my boys I have to hide it no matter how much I'm suffering.
---------- Post added at 14:31 ---------- Previous post was at 14:23 ----------
Tanner I have practised acceptance and it does help. This morning I really had a glimmer of hope and a fighting attitude but I don't have the strength to keep it going.
Believe it or not I listen to everything and not only take notes from CBT and go through certain bits time and time again but have also saved do many posts to help and they do:
Meditation I have been sceptical about and maybe have not listened. But I am sorry and will do today . I am mKing sure.
Sean, thanks for the reply. If you were truly practicing acceptance, you would not be posting on here constantly looking for reassurance. The very idea of acceptance is letting go of the symptoms that are worrying you and accepting that the are merely anxiety and can't hurt you.
What have you learned through CBT? Tell me about the specific techniques that you have worked on, what you have learned, and how you are utilizing them on a daily basis. In short, tell me how you are putting the concepts into practice. Give me an example, which will also be helpful to you.
Meditation can really be helpful and when you're this down, anything is worth a try.
Have you contacted mind and anxiety uk ? ,not only do they do reduced rates for therapy they hold free workshops for anxiety sufferers
Sean,
I guarantee you that your wife and especially your children do know. My mum used to think she hid her issues from me and my siblings.
My brother was an acloholic, my sister attempted suicide at 18 and I had the issues that brought me here. Thankfully, all are doing very well now. Were those issues down to having a parent with an untreated mental illness? Maybe, maybe not. It sure as hell wouldn't have helped though.
I will help you in any way that I can to get over this but you have got to start really acting upon what people are advising. MrAndy has given you some excellent resources before, use them.
I keep going to call them and keep thinking it won't help me. I've been sceptical but need to try everything and look into free workshop. Last week or so I've purely been looking at self help.
One thing I was sceptical about was propanol. I thought "how can this help mentLly" but it's calmed me down today. How's this work?
Tanner, I haven't been on here asking for reassurance, but got desperate.
---------- Post added at 15:31 ---------- Previous post was at 15:30 ----------
I know Kate but I would not lie to you in the slightest. I've been fighting this.
Sean, you're kidding yourself man. All you have been doing is looking for reassurance. You took a break of three days and you're right back, asking the same old questions but not giving specific answers to folks that are trying to help you. I'm sure that many people, like myself, are not going to give you anymore reassurance. I'm not even sure that all of the attention that you are getting on here is helpful to you. Sorry if this sounds harsh but I won't reply or try to help you anymore until you answer my specific questions.
You seriously need to consider admitting yourself or having yourself sectioned so that you can get some appropriate help before life becomes totally unmanageable for you and your family, Sean. Best wishes.
Well I think your being harsh and I have answered specific questions. I came off her and it didn't help so reassurance does help for me whilst I'm trying things. What you mean sectioned? Locked up.
Has anyone used proponal and seen it work with health anxiety because I am a bit calmer
---------- Post added at 15:51 ---------- Previous post was at 15:49 ----------
And I really don't want to lose this site, I just want to be able to be more positive. I feel upset so many people feel hurt by me not taking certain advice but you will be surprised by how much I do.
I'm sorry that you feel I'm being harsh, Sean. My specific questions were meant to get you to think and concentrate on the specific CBT principles that you say you have been working on and reading about.
Locked up is a harsh way of looking at things. I just feel that an intensive inpatient experience might help you at this point. It is obvious to me that you are not in a place to go this alone and help yourself. As for me being harsh, that is not helpful to you, so I will refrain from trying to help you at this point. I wish you and your family nothing but the best. Good luck on your recovery process, Sean.
Sorry tanner, I appreciate your help and it is working. Just finding it hard.
Anyone know about propanol and if I should keep taking.
Would you be able to get that on nhs the inpatient thing?
Hi Willous,
I have been prescribed Propranolol 10mg 4 x daily for anxiety. As far as I am aware, it has no bad side effects and can be taken for years if needed as it is not addictive.
It works by calming the rapid heart beats which go with anxiety. I think for high anxiety 40mg can be taken 3 times a day.
Hope this is a help
Thank you for that. I do feel less anxious.
Thing is I will calm down about something then something else will happen. I just turned heating off but can't remember doing it so panic. Occurs until the next thing.
hangingbasket
21-12-13, 17:01
Do you seriously expect to remember every trivial thing you do all day every day? Why do you even need to?
I know, your right. You really are. If we could remember every little thing we would be geniuses. My wife always says to me "did I turn the heating off' etc but I don't think anythings wrong with her. I think it's because we do everyday things like that without needing to concentrate.
I am only taking 10mg of proponal but can take more. Can you have a wine with them?
Sean, everyone who has commented on this thread (and some who have not) cares about you. Even the ones who sound harsh. I've been harsh with you a few times but it's only because I do not want to see you dealing with this in another 10 years time.
I know you are scared of dying but unfortunately, we all will. Hopefully, in your case, it will be in at least 50 years time. But it could be tomorrow for all we know and if it is, think how your last day would have been spent.
This next bit isn't about you specifically but in general. I believe that the second we become parents and get an entirely dependent human being whose psyche and well being gets largely influenced by us in our care, our time for coming first ends.
As parents with a mental illness, we did not ask for our affliction but nor did our children.
I will never ever forget one instance at the lowest point of my illness. My baby was giggling and kicking his legs in excitement while reaching out for me, wanting his Mummy to play. I was so overwrought after googling one of my fears that my husband had to take him in to the other room and as he did, I saw his little face looking at me over my husbands shoulder. He wasn't smiling anymore.
That would not have been the first time I did something like that. I can't swear that it will be the last. At the end of the day, having a mental condition is bloody hard and scary and trying to recover is so overwhelming. How on earth can we protect our children from every single bit of it, through relapses and panics? We can't.
But I don't know about you, but if I have to expose my son it, I want to be able to tell him "Mummy has a poorly head and sometimes gets scared. But she is doing every single thing in the world possible to get better because she loves you more than she fears anything".
If, through exposure to me or pure coincidence, my son also ends up with mental issues, I want to have been a positive role model to him, to show him that it is nothing to be ashamed of, doesn't have to ruin his life, and that it is manageable and entirely possible to have a happy life despite it.
I don't care personally whether that would mean being sectioned for a while or crawling through 20 miles of broken glass naked - I'll do it. Because if it is a choice between that or risk having my child be unnecessarily damaged by me, I'd do it a hundred times.
You are a bloody good man Sean. And you don't have to do anything that extreme to get better. You do need to accept things. Read what Nic posted to you at the beginning of the thread, accept it, let it go and move on. Take those baby steps we discussed before, be the man I know you are.
hangingbasket
21-12-13, 17:42
And if you're really trying to get better, maybe stay off the wine!
Ahh Sean. You are ill right now aren't you? :( mentally, I mean.
Reassurance isn't the answer. I lap it up too. My suggestion is to bookmark your old threads where you have had heaps and read them again for the reassurance factor. No, it is NOT helpful long term and it is something you need to get out of the cycle of but I don't think you are going to get much more of it from here. I don't suggest you read them all the time, either.
You are very unwell and you are hitting rock bottom. I have been where you are now, it is not pretty, it is scary and a hell of a way to live.
I know how hard it can be to put self help ideas into place when you are at rock bottom, some people can do it, others simply can't until they are in a better place, but you aren't going to reach that better place by doing what you are doing now though are you? it is a vicious cycle.
I think if you haven't already, you need to tell a loved one exactly how low you are feeling and allow them to help you get some more help for your mental illness. Do you have a mental health crisis team in your area? I have to use them a lot for my husband, they just come out assess him, see if he needs admitting (which hasn't happened) and then he gets emergency help. Please make a few calls and see if you have something similar in your area.
I wish I could really help you. Please try to put all the advice here into practice, but I think you need to be seen by a professional soon for your mental state. This needs to be the main priority right now. I don't get the impression that you are mentally strong enough to do a lot of this self-help because the help you need is much more deeper than that. You need to be seen by someone to assess your mental health state first.
I am seeing a man who is actually trying but doesn't have the mental strength to really do it.
Help isn't always easy to get, which is why you need a loved one fighting your corner. I have had to fight tooth and nail for my bi-polar husband at times, telling them they HAVE to come out and see him now, something he can't do very well when he is ill. Your wife needs to know and someone needs to be there with you helping you get the help you need ASAP.
Please call around to see if you can get the crisis team round. Start with your out of hours GP for the number, if you do not have a crisis team they should know of an alternative. At least I hope there is one.
Well presumably you mentioned this to your GP and they were unconcerned? What evidence do you have at all to suggest that it might be the result of something sinister? What evidence do you have to suggest that it is probably the result of extreme anxiety? How do those two things balance one another out?
This post I have just read again from Chris has helped so much. Thank you.
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And think you hypo and everyone, I will do that. I can promise you I will. So kind of you to share stuff and go into detail. It means a lot
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Kate, thank you so much for everything. You are always there and have shown me a lot of care. I listen to you more than you think and I promise am working hard. I've spent time reading through posts making notes and taking links. I've been etching a lot of YouTube videos which help. The one about tapping was interested which was mentioned a few pages back. My brain is overloaded and I feel sorry for it, I am constantly worry and thinking about what I just thought etc. it probably needs a rest lol x
---------- Post added at 20:04 ---------- Previous post was at 20:02 ----------
Willous, you need a tool to help you bring the feelings of panic under control.
I use Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), which is a strange looking tapping technique but works incredibly well to reduce panic and anxiety. Since I learned it I have not had a full blown panic attack in several years.
This video will teach you how to do it, it's basically tapping on different points while focusing on your feelings. It's very easy, watch the video a few times and learn the technique then start using is straight away when you next feel anxiety creeping up on you:
http://youtu.be/ZeYkItpMkoQ
This is the video I was talking about above. Thank you for this.
Hi Sean,
I've been reading this thread with interest and thought I'd add a couple of points to see if I can help.
Whilst some of the comments here may seem a little harsh and blunt, it's clear that people are really trying to help, otherwise, you wouldn't get so many replies. I think the frustration comes from your asking for reassurance a lot when we all know that it won't help you as your specific worries are a symptom not the cause.
One thing for you to think about is the irony that is there for many people who have anxiety about their health. You're worrying about being ill and dying so much that, at times, you've not wanted to carry on. Looking at it rationally, you're wasting your life worrying about being ill and the more you worry, the worse you feel. What we need to do is to help you find a way to break the vicious circle. We've all been where you are now and we'll try our best to help.
Whether you realise it or not, you have a choice what you do. You can either continue to worry about what might happen and feel worse and worse or you can think, what the hell, if I'm ill, I'm ill but I'm going to get on with my life and enjoy it. I promise you that the less you focus on how you're feeling, the better you'll feel. You're close to finding the key and when you do, things will slot into place and you'll see much more clearly what you need to do.
Remember, we all have aches and pains, we have memory lapses but the important thing is to see them as natural parts of life. Good luck my friend - you can do it.
Pip
Well presumably you mentioned this to your GP and they were unconcerned? What evidence do you have at all to suggest that it might be the result of something sinister? What evidence do you have to suggest that it is probably the result of extreme anxiety? How do those two things balance one another out?
This post I have just read again from Chris has helped so much. Thank you.
Please elaborate on what part of that post helped? They are all questions.
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And think you hypo and everyone, I will do that. I can promise you I will. So kind of you to share stuff and go into detail. It means a lot
What will you do specifically? Number them and write them out. Looking forward to reading these.
---------- Post added at 20:02 ---------- Previous post was at 20:00 ----------
Kate, thank you so much for everything. You are always there and have shown me a lot of care. I listen to you more than you think and I promise am working hard. I've spent time reading through posts making notes and taking links. I've been etching a lot of YouTube videos which help. The one about tapping was interested which was mentioned a few pages back. My brain is overloaded and I feel sorry for it, I am constantly worry and thinking about what I just thought etc. it probably needs a rest lol x
Please post the information you have gathered, including the YouTube links and specific posts as well as your thoughts on them.
---------- Post added at 20:04 ---------- Previous post was at 20:02 ----------
This is the video I was talking about above. Thank you for this.
Please specifically speak about the phrases used while practicing the tapping techniques and how they helped you.
Positive thoughts
I agree with Fishmanpa, Willous. You need to be more detailed with us so we can see exactly how you're doing and where you need help.
Did you continue to watch the EFT video, have you taught yourself the technique now?
Ok, yes I used the technique this morning and it calmed me down a bit when I was panicking back. I am getting into it and looking for phrases that help me like 'it's just
Anxiety..I know this etc. I will keep learning.
Fishmanpa, the post from Chris helped me answer a question myself using logic and I keep looking back at it.
The YouTube videos I have been watching are mostly on relaxation and meditation. I will post some good links. I am starting to feel more positive in stages like short bursts and hoping them bursts will get longer.
The message saying I was bullshitting about locking my account is unfair because I did ask but I'm glad it was kept open because it's helping me.
Willous, you should type out a plan here, your step by step approach to what actions you're taking and how you're applying them. What tools are you using and when are you using them.
I've written out a plan and going to start a thread
I'm doing a lot better today. I'm finally getting things to work. Slowly but surely. Can I ask one bit of assurance as it will help me today.
I was in the front room earlier thinking about something and someone was talking to me and I only caught the end? Could it be a brain issue or just concentration. I've learned to calm my thoughts and my memory is better but worried about this. Would appreciate a response x
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Can someone please tell me I'm being silly if I am. I know reassurance is not right but I am doing so well over memory issue
Willous, I think it's a really bad idea for any of us to engage with you on this memory issue again.
You've already gotten plenty of reassurance and advice on it, read back through the other replies you've been given over the same issue.
I know I have really annoyed you all or just upset people but everyone asks for reassurance. I'm not asking medical advice just generally. I am working so hard at this and have come leaps and bounds today
---------- Post added at 16:59 ---------- Previous post was at 16:58 ----------
Willous, I think it's a really bad idea for any of us to engage with you on this memory issue again.
You've already gotten plenty of reassurance and advice on it, read back through the other replies you've been given over the same issue.
I know Honey but I am working so hard and this is not a memory thing it's something new and just wanted to get it out of my system ASAP and to see if everyone does it. I am working hard and not panicking today
It's not about annoying us all, it's about not engaging in behaviour that is clearly not helping you or giving advice that is clearly not being listened to.
What tool can you put in place right now to combat this particular worry? Show us the leaps and bounds.
Because it's a new worry it's hard. I went for a run listening to relaxation music. My partner partners finally talking to me as I told her about the CBT etc. Im calm but I just need a quick fix as it were. A heroin addict recovering needs bits of drugs to keep going.
Sean,
I'm not going to answer your question as it won't help you and, besides, I'm no neurologist. What I will do is give you some examples of how my 43 year-old brain behaves.
I forget what I'm saying mid-sentence, I go into a room and can't remember what I was looking for, I switch off when people are talking, I read posts on here again and can only vaguely remember reading them the first time, I put orange juice on my cereal last week, I forgot someone's name when I work with them every day and, my proudest moment, I set off for work with my slippers on one day. These things happen now and again and they don't worry me at all. I consider myself to be quite sharp and alert but I know that everyone forgets things, especially when they're stressed, anxious, depressed or tired.
Please don't ask again :)
Pip
Because it's a new worry it's hard. I went for a run listening to relaxation music. My partner partners finally talking to me as I told her about the CBT etc. Im calm but I just need a quick fix as it were. A heroin addict recovering needs bits of drugs to keep going.
You seem to be missing the point that the tools you're learning have to be put in place every time a new worry pops up.
It doesn't matter that this time is different (you say that it's different every time you post here). What matters is that you start using the tools you're learning, and putting them into action straight away every single time a new worry makes you want to look for reassurance.
I know but this isn't about memory it's about that one occasion, it would really help on this occasion.
---------- Post added at 17:57 ---------- Previous post was at 17:57 ----------
I know honey but I have ways of coping with things and I'm doing a lot
---------- Post added at 18:05 ---------- Previous post was at 17:57 ----------
Can anyone just please answer this one issue, just one and I promise here and now that's it
It won't be Willious.
This isn't a new issue. You have been told time and time again what the problem is and WHY these 'symptoms' are happening to you. Just look back at your old threads. This question has no different answers than any of your other threads do.
It's all a part of the condition you have, which is ANXIETY. You KNOW the answer to this deep down.
Did you call to see if there is a crisis team available? You are pleading for reassurance and it breaks my heart to see this. Please please get your mental health situation checked out now.
Stuff your so called memory issues which you think you have. You need to be worrying about your mental health. I know it is hard to separate the thoughts and it FEELS like you are physically ill right now but you know you are ill, you wouldn't be posting on the HA board if you didn't know your real problem would you?
Why did you not call the GP like I suggested? you said you would. While you certainly don't have to do anything anyone suggested here people with a clearer mind than you right now are telling you what you need to do.
I believe you are trying your best, I really do. You are just too mentally ill right now to put this all in practice as best as you could be.
hangingbasket
22-12-13, 18:42
Asking us to please answer one more issue is no different to knocking your neighbours door and asking them. We know no more about it than they would. We are not doctors and not trained to answer.
Even when people do answer, you don't listen.
But no one is answering the actual question about the concentration and I'm worrying more now. I know I always ask but this isn't a memory question it's a new thing I just want someone to help me with. I can't ask any neighbours or family. I am doing things, no one knows how much I am trying but I'm panicking because no one wants to answer therefore must be an issue. I aimply am asking about if people have been thinking something and not concentrated on what someone is saying to them and had to ask agin. Literally every tread on here has some kind of reassurance. I am starting to firmly acknowledge it is anxiety and maybe I shouldn't have posted but now I have please can someone help even if by pm
---------- Post added at 18:53 ---------- Previous post was at 18:52 ----------
There is some kind of crisis team just near me and I am in contact now about sorting something out.
---------- Post added at 18:58 ---------- Previous post was at 18:53 ----------
I have got every little thread and post notes down and am doing a lot, no one knows how hard or what I'm doing but I am just asking please
---------- Post added at 19:03 ---------- Previous post was at 18:58 ----------
The CBT thing I downloaded from link does not work on my phone and will only download in computer I don't have at mine. Is there any CBT thing I can download on phone
hangingbasket
22-12-13, 19:08
No one will answer because we all realise that its come to a point where answers are making you worse not better. Its not a new issue either. Its the same one again. What happened to the CBT you've been using so far?
I have not been able to acces it and only started it on a public computer
---------- Post added at 19:12 ---------- Previous post was at 19:09 ----------
Can someone just please tell me if it's normal
I've got 9 books currently downloaded on anxiety from iBooks read 3
---------- Post added at 19:12 ---------- Previous post was at 19:12 ----------
Asking us to please answer one more issue is no different to knocking your neighbours door and asking them. We know no more about it than they would. We are not doctors and not trained to answer.
Even when people do answer, you don't listen.
No one will answer because we all realise that its come to a point where answers are making you worse not better. Its not a new issue either. Its the same one again. What happened to the CBT you've been using so far?
All my questions have been about memory this is on concentration
Here is an online version of CBT that you don't need to download, you just sign up for an account:
https://moodgym.anu.edu.au
hangingbasket
22-12-13, 19:15
I would really recommend starting cbt ... good luck!
Sean,
People aren't answering your question because they're trying to help you, not because they think you've got a problem with your brain. Trust me, if people thought you had a problem, they would say so. Anyway, I think you'll find I referred to something similar in my last post.
Now relax, focus on your breathing, realise that you're catastrophising again and go and do something positive. Go and have a chat with your partner or go for a walk. Do anything but sit and dwell on how you're feeling.
Pip
hangingbasket
22-12-13, 19:19
Honeylove, that link is good. I've used that site to reinforce what I learned on my group CBT course :)
Thanks for link, sorting now but this really is a new. Issue can someone just tell me if it's normal and they do it where there thinking and aren't aware of what is being said around them please
hangingbasket
22-12-13, 19:21
How did you get on with your contact with the crisis team?
:hugs:
Honeylove, that link is good. I've used that site to reinforce what I learned on my group CBT course :)
It's a great site, I like it a lot too! Recommended by my GP, so it must be one of the best resources :)
When you stop feeding the white elephant in the room it goes elsewhere for food. I suggest we all stop feeding it.
Here is an online version of CBT that you don't need to download, you just sign up for an account:
https://moodgym.anu.edu.au
Honey - this looks good. I might join up and give it a go myself. The more ammunition against anxiety, the better.
Thanks:D
Pip
Can someone just give me assurance about this, please because it's new. I will give you all 100% assurance now that I will never ask for assurance again. I will not lye and that is massive for me Massive. Never again. Just want to see of that's normal
Can you explain why you think it would help? Surely, you need to be able to recognise for yourself when there's a genuine problem and the only way to be able to do that is to work on controlling your anxiety.
It reminds me of the saying "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime". Lots of people are desperately trying to teach you to fish.
Pip
Yeah you are all right. I'm signing off to get help c
Yeah you are all right. I'm signing off to get help c
I really really hope so Sean. This situation is heartbreaking.
21-12-13, 13:43
willous1
Intermediate Member
*
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 658
Re: My last week
When we talk about dementia do we mean repeating while things and is mentioning something quickly twice in one conversation just concentration? Haven't asked for reassurance in a while but much needed
---------- Post added at 13:42 ---------- Previous post was at 13:40 ----------
As I said on above board I really have tried, the CBT helps for periods but will take time. Meditation I am trying today.
---------- Post added at 13:43 ---------- Previous post was at 13:42 ----------
The nhs will not help and privately I just don't have enough money
Yeah you are all right. I'm signing off to get help c
Sean,
That sounds like the best thing to do. Don't forget that everyone here is trying to help you. The hardest part is the beginning of the road to recovery and it gets easier as you learn how to manage your illness.
I feel for you mate but I know you'll be ok if you listen to what people are saying.
Take care
Pip
Sean, I must say that I'm disappointed and if this sounds harsh, so be it. You lied to me and to everyone else on this board. The post above is copied directly from your response to me yesterday.
You told me that the CBT was helping but it would take awhile for it to work.
Just a few minutes ago, you stated that you hadn't been able to start the CBT because it wouldn't work on your phone.
UNBELIEVABLE that you are wasting so many people's time. I actually worried about you yesterday. If nothing else, you most certainly can tell the truth.
I agree with Fishmanpa that it's time to stop feeding the white elephant in the room.
Sheez.
You're not a mug, Kate. You just want to help someone who really needs and wants help. So do I. I worried about Sean a lot yesterday to the point of letting my own anxiety soar a bit. No more!
hangingbasket
22-12-13, 20:27
Tanner, there have been many instances like this. Contradictory posts and things that just dont add up. I'm not sure what to think anymore.
Tanner is right Kate, you're far from a mug, you just have a good heart xx
Thanks guys.
Sean, sign off and get help.
When you come back, be straight with everyone.
Good luck to you.
nomorepanic
22-12-13, 21:39
I think we should give Sean a break now. It doesn't matter if he has lied or not, maybe he felt he had to say he had done the CBT to shut people up.
Let's just leave it at that for now.
I think we should give Sean a break now. It doesn't matter if he has lied or not, maybe he felt he had to say he had done the CBT to shut people up.
Let's just leave it at that for now.
Yep, he is ill.
This thread is making me uncomfortable now.
He is not in the right frame of mind to help himself, that much is obvious, which is why I suggested the crisis team. He needs a professional at this point to advise him on where to go from here. He might be trying the best he can, he is obviously very unwell and he needs assessing before anyone can tell what he can and can't do for himself.
He has had people tell him to write down exactly what he is doing to help himself. I have seen someone go through a mental break down and psychosis, some of this stuff that has been asked from him simply might be too much for him.
We have no idea how severe his mental state is. At this point, the only thing we should be doing is pointing him in the direction of the crisis team and out of hours emergency teams. We are not qualified to ask him to do this and that. For most people sure, it is amazing advice, my feeling is Sean is past that point and asking him to write out what he is doing to help himself and accusing him of lying etc is probably of no help to him and may make him feel nothing but pressure.
It comes from wanting to help him I know, but the thing is none of us here should be putting any kind of pressure on someone who is clearly in a lot of mental distress. We do not know what we are dealing with here. We need to be careful.
I have gotten to know Sean pretty well off this board via e-mail and phone conversations which started when he was at the beginning of his attempt to get better.
He is a nice guy. And he does have big issues - he knows that.
I think people (myself included) are reacting to the feeling that we have been giving a lot of support, time, energy and emotion to somebody on false pretenses. Doesn't mean he's a bad guy. Doesn't mean that I for one don't really want the very best for him. But it's a bit hurtful.
I guess it's a lesson learned. This is an online forum. We don't know for certainty what is going on behind somebody else's computer screen and one should practice discretion.
I hope Sean gets the help and understanding that he needs and I hope he comes back and becomes a success story.
harasgenster
22-12-13, 22:54
Yep, he is ill.
This thread is making me uncomfortable now.
He is not in the right frame of mind to help himself, that much is obvious, which is why I suggested the crisis team. He needs a professional at this point to advise him on where to go from here. He might be trying the best he can, he is obviously very unwell and he needs assessing before anyone can tell what he can and can't do for himself.
He has had people tell him to write down exactly what he is doing to help himself. I have seen someone go through a mental break down and psychosis, some of this stuff that has been asked from him simply might be too much for him.
We have no idea how severe his mental state is. At this point, the only thing we should be doing is pointing him in the direction of the crisis team and out of hours emergency teams. We are not qualified to ask him to do this and that. For most people sure, it is amazing advice, my feeling is Sean is past that point and asking him to write out what he is doing to help himself and accusing him of lying etc is probably of no help to him and may make him feel nothing but pressure.
It comes from wanting to help him I know, but the thing is none of us here should be putting any kind of pressure on someone who is clearly in a lot of mental distress. We do not know what we are dealing with here. We need to be careful.
Couldn't agree more.
I have gotten to know Sean pretty well off this board via e-mail and phone conversations which started when he was at the beginning of his attempt to get better.
He is a nice guy. And he does have big issues - he knows that.
I think people (myself included) are reacting to the feeling that we have been giving a lot of support, time, energy and emotion to somebody on false pretenses. Doesn't mean he's a bad guy. Doesn't mean that I for one don't really want the very best for him. But it's a bit hurtful.
I guess it's a lesson learned. This is an online forum. We don't know for certainty what is going on behind somebody else's computer screen and one should practice discretion.
I hope Sean gets the help and understanding that he needs and I hope he comes back and becomes a success story.
BTDT so I understand some of what you feel.
You have been awesome to have helped him so much.
It's just beyond us to do anymore.
BTDT so I understand some of what you feel.
You have been awesome to have helped him so much.
It's just beyond us to do anymore.
Aww thanks sweetheart.
It was absolutely AMAZING of you to go out of your way to post so much good advice on this thread considering what you are dealing with at the moment. :hugs:
And I totally agree with your last sentence, sadly.
nomorepanic
22-12-13, 23:35
Sean is not the first by any means and won't be the last that has posted endless posts asking for help and seems to ignore all advice etc but some of us "older" members have seen this before and know how to react to it and deal with it.
Some replies are kind of implying they are some sort of victim here and have been deceived etc and that is what I don't like.
We can only do what we can do then we have to step back and let that person get the help they need away from NMP.
I just felt uncomfortable reading some of the posts on this thread so had my say on it
Hi Nic,
I apologise if I came across as thinking I'm a victim. I'm not. The only victim of Seans' mental state here is Sean himself. I hope so much that he climbs out of the hell he is in.
I know that Tanner doesn't feel a victim either. Maybe we feel a bit mislead and reacted in an emotional way but it honestly isn't based just on this thread. We got too emotionally involved over the course of the last few weeks and I wish I had reacted differently.
Lesson learned for all involved I think.
Nic,
I can certainly tell you that I do not feel like a victim in this situation. I did my best to help Sean many times over the course of the last few months. While I haven't been on this forum long, I will tell you that it feels good for it to be a safe place. Do I feel deceived? Not really. I think that sometimes it is necessary to call someone out if that will help them in their recovery. I don't think that coddling someone seeking reassurance is helpful. Maybe I'm just one of those folks that wants someone to tell it to me the way it is. I know that I have needed a good kick in the rear to get myself moving.
My apologies to the forum if my comment has offended anyone. I know that I have helped many more people than I have offended. In the future, I will refrain from blunt honesty if that seems a pout of line.
nomorepanic
22-12-13, 23:58
Victim may be the wrong word I am sorry.
I know this thread has been talked about in chat as well - No I wasn't there but was literally just told about it after I posted on here - and I think people are feeling Sean is being bullied a bit.
I know it is frustrating. I have been there with another member who some will remember would take no advice at all and post over and over the same thing.
I never closed his account; as he asked; as I knew full well we would be re-opening it or a new one would be created.
I think some people need more help than NMP can offer so we just have to refer them on and HOPE they get the help they need
Looking back through Sean's posts through time on these boards, I think you guys are right. It's so hard to judge these things over the Internet, all you see is someone desperately asking for help and you try to give them that in the only ways you know.
With regards to making a list, this is a basic tool that I learned long ago: when you're overwhelmed or worrying, sit down and make a plan, write it out and keep it with you to refer to when you're feeling wobbly. It works really well if you stick to it, but as Hypo says maybe Sean just isn't capable of doing something like that?
None of us are professionals here, we're just sharing the tools we've learned ourselves. It's become clear that he's beyond any help that we can offer and really needs the care of more experienced pros.
I don't think it's odd that some people have felt deceived, considering the amount of time and worry some people have spent on advising him. One thing I've learned about anxiety sufferers is that they're sensitive & caring souls who easily get affected by what other people go through. Some folks got invested and hopefull for Sean, and felt let down by him. The nature of the Internet means that we can't possibly know his full situation and it's clearly not obvious to everyone that Sean is coming from a place that we're not familiar with. I'm not surprised that the result of that is some folks feeling bad about what's happened.
I sincerely hope for Sean that he gets the right kind of help, and soon.
Edited because it doesn't matter
nomorepanic
23-12-13, 00:13
Kate - I never said you have bullied him and as far as I know it was general comments not specific names mentioned
The suggestion of bullying annoys me. Bullying is behaviour intended to make someone feel bad, but the people on Sean's threads have only ever been trying to *help* him.
Sometimes that help is straight to the point posts, sometimes it's tough love - but absolutely none of that is intended to make Sean feel bad or ashamed. For goodness sake everyone has been turning blue in the face trying every angle to get him some help.
Bullying should never be mentioned so lightly, it's a serious thing to the table, especially on a forum where people are so sensitive about what they say and do and worry a lot about what others think of them.
nomorepanic
23-12-13, 00:25
There is a fine line between helping and advising and bullying though
I disagree about not making him feel bad when asking him to list exactly what he has done to help himself and how he did it etc
Then people keep telling him to do relaxation/meditation and CBT stuff and clearly he cannot concentrate on that at the moment.
That could be bordering on bullying him into doing stuff
I am truly at a loss for words here. No one intended to bully Sean. People advising me what to do, and offering their experiences on what worked for them is what has helped me. If I hadn't wanted their wisdom and experience, I wouldn't have asked.
I have so many thoughts in my head but I can't even begin to get them out. I'm truly at a loss. This has provoked such anxiety in me tonight that I'm shaking my head in disbelief. Once again, I need to control my own reactions as I can't control anyone else's responses or actions.
nomorepanic
23-12-13, 00:37
I am now leaving this thread - had my say and I hope Sean gets help for what he needs to get better.
If it is stressing people out dealing with Sean then can I please advise they stay away for their own health!
I just respectfully disagree that it's bulling Nic, the difference is in the intent. Not a single soul here intends bad towards Sean. Bullying is intended to make someone feel bad.
If he comes to a public forum looking for help then he's going to meet all kinds of different types of advice and approaches. The fortunate thing about NMP is that the people here are all genuinely trying to help, unlike other online spaces I've seen where people will go out of their way to be nasty.
The word bullying needs to be used carefully, because it will frighten many good people away from these boards.
Just because people don't want to constantly reassure or mollycoddle someone, just because they use straight forward advice or language does not equate to bullying.
nomorepanic
23-12-13, 00:49
Honeylove - it was NOT my wording - I never said bullying. I said what other people thought!
I know it wasn't your wording Nic and that you are kind of caught between a rock and a hard place here.
My own advice to Sean has been mainly to seek real help for a while now. But Sean had expressed interest in all of those other things and even said that some of them were helping him in other threads. I think people just wanted to know if they were legitimately helping at all before writing more pages of "how to do this" advice.
I think it's time to draw a line under this. Sean is in an extremely anxious state, lots of people have tried to help but we're not professionals and can only go by our own experiences.
I don't doubt for a minute that everyone is trying to help but there's a chance that we'll all make things worse if we carry on. I know I would be really upset if I thought I was causing any kind of conflict between other people. Let's all remember what it feels like when we're in such a state of panic that we can't think straight and can only focus on how we feel. That's how Sean has been feeling.
Sean - we understand how you feel and that being in a real state of panic can make it difficult to understand what people are saying. It can also make us do irrational things. Take the time you need and remember that there are always people here to listen. As long as you're trying to help yourself, you'll get no end of support and patience. It's hard but we've all been there and we understand.
Pip x
I understand that it wasn't your wording Nic, but you did bring that opinion from others into the thread and I felt the need to address it. You explained how some posts may have been construed as bullying Sean into acting and I wanted to explain how I disagree.
Like I said, the word bullying needs to be use carefully and it being mentioned in an admins posts, regardless of whether it was your own opinion or not, will be taken to heart by a lot of people here.
harasgenster
23-12-13, 01:04
I only want to agree with Nic here really and to put a slightly different perspective on it perhaps. I understand that it can be frustrating and perhaps hurtful to try and help a person and to feel that they are not taking that advice.
However, this forum will naturally attract people with mental health problems, and some of those mental health problems are going to be too severe at the time of posting to be helped by processes like CBT etc, because it is very difficult to concentrate or engage with those ideas if you are too ill. This is when the doctors come in. Once he has received medical assistance, I'm sure Sean will be able to get well enough to begin CBT processes.
I have myself several times been too ill to really be helped by non-professionals, and I think there is a certain amount of remorse and embarrassment that comes with that - particularly in retrospect. But at the time I don't think we're really aware that non-professionals cannot help us and so it can come off like someone is giving you advice and you're just constantly brushing it away to complain again. Certainly my family have complained about that with me in the past, and I do understand the frustration for those who are just trying to help. However, for the person in crisis, it can feel a little like you have to pretend that what people are saying is useful to you or helping you in some way so as to protect their feelings. You may even pretend that you have been able to engage with the advice they have given and have tried it out - even if you have in fact been far too unwell to do so. You do this for other people because you don't want to be a pain. But when I see situations like that come up on here it worries me a little because when I just started to pretend everything was ok and things were helping: I got lonely, then I got worse.
My advice when dealing with someone who is too ill to be truly helped on NMP is to validate their emotions, rather than helping them 'fix' the problem. They may simply be too ill to 'fix' it. Simply saying 'I understand that you are feeling very afraid/depressed etc and this must be a terrible time for you. My heart is with you' is really all you can do, alongside repeated encouragements to seek help elsewhere. In fact, telling them the truth - 'I'm sorry but I'm unable to help, but I know you could get help if you call this number etc.' would probably be really helpful.
I only worry that sometimes it's difficult to remember that people with mental health disorders can be frustrating and upsetting - we can all be - but hopefully NMP can be a place of empathy where we can understand that the person is going through their own personal hell and try to recognise where the help that can be given here is not working due to the person being too ill and tell them that straight. Asking a person over and over to do a certain thing when they are just unable to engage may in fact make them worse. Ask once, if they do not comply, perhaps they just can't do it right now. That's when they should be referred to other sources of help, in my opinion.
I hope this does not offend anyone as it seems to me that everybody has been on good behaviour here but emotions are running high.
harasgenster,
That is a brilliant post and I mean that,
But I have to just defend everyone involved slightly by saying that if you happened to have a spare few hours and looked at the history, all of those approaches had been tried by the people in question.
As I said, I do think your post is great, full of empathy and understanding.
---------- Post added at 01:25 ---------- Previous post was at 01:18 ----------
Just to add, I am also bowing out.
I personally think the fact that people cared enough about somebody they had never met to get hurt says a lot. I think that the hours people spent trying to help one scared young man shows how caring, compassionate and wonderful those people are, even if they did get frustrated at the end (I do not count myself in the wonderful category by the way - I'm way too grouchy). I think the fact that they kept coming back over and over again to try and help in any way they knew how instead of rolling their eyes and ignoring says a lot. They did not post for their own benefit but for somebody else.
All of those people are some of the best people I have had the pleasure of getting to know on the net and I hope to keep in touch with many of them.
harasgenster
23-12-13, 01:27
harasgenster,
That is a brilliant post and I mean that,
But I have to just defend everyone involved slightly by saying that if you happened to have a spare few hours and looked at the history, all of those approaches had been tried by the people in question.
As I said, I do think your post is great, full of empathy and understanding.
Yes, sorry I should have said I noticed that different approaches were taken. I suppose I just wanted to explain why some people may have got upset about the situation here and, as I say, I don't really see any instances on this thread of bullying or bad behaviour per se.
hangingbasket
23-12-13, 09:21
Wow! Ok I feel awful now.
I thought I was well enough to be in a position to help others. Bad idea!!
Sorry guys... I'll stick to being the helpee, not the helper.
OK I have seen a similar theme running through a number of threads started by different posters and I have a theory.
There is an element of attention seeking in HA which is part of the illness. I think it may have be a way that those who feel powerless try to exert some form of influence. It's a way of standing up, shouting and waving and reminding people that you exist. Sometimes those people lie to get the attention they crave (yes, I've seen this more than once too).
The HA itself works a diversion from the issues the the sufferer really needs to deal with - it's an avoidance tactic, a comfort blanket. It might also explain why specific questions from those who reply to them don't get answered. Because the HA is serving a useful purpose. Answering a question might mean actually having to deal with the HA and once a person starts dealing with it the real issues are still sitting there underneath. Avoiding a question means you never have to commit to doing anything about it.
I'm not saying that all HA sufferers are like this but I have noticed this pattern here more than once.
Ultimately, until the person realises that the answer lies solely with them, lots of good advice will simply fall on deaf ears. I think all anyone can usefully do is keep reminding them, gently but firmly, that only they can change their situation.
sometimes you have to get off the internet and seek help from the medical professionals ,i really hope Willous will do this soon
Well I am not attention seeking. I went into work this morning and lost all feeling in my face and was shaking. Just lost it and had to be taken out of work and a taxi paid for by the company. No one knows how hard I've been trying and I did start the CBT just explained I did not have on phone. I've got doctors at 4.30 and I'm being serious. I was so upset by some people on here even though I know you tried to help I was in a bad bD way yesterday.
Willous make sure you write everything down that you want to ask the doctor and dont rush when you are in there
good luck :)
Sean, personally I think attention seeking is a poor choice of words and isn't really what I think is true in your case. What is true, is that this is a ten page thread full of people desperate to help you.
I suspect that probably this is no longer being helpful to you, but just let me give you some final thoughts.
1) It isn't at all clear to me what help you are looking for. I can see you are looking for reassurance, and frankly a reassurance that no one here is in a position to give. You must be able to see from your posts that the 'one last issue' that is 'different to the last' is just a variation on a theme.
2) I think the reason people get frustrated is twofold. Firstly they care for you and secondly you don't give people anything to go on. You said last night that you were going to write a thread about your plan. I for one would love to read it and I am sure others would be more than happy to support you in making in real.
3) you don't have to justify anything to anyone on here. Bluntly, whether you are working hard or not is neither here nor there to me. Of course I want you to get better but the only person you need to convince is yourself.
Good luck Sean. I am quite sure that soon you will find the right space to forge a path of recovery for yourself.
Chris
Hi Chris,
Leading on from your post above I wondered if anyone knows of a "blueprint" for a plan to beat HA.
What I mean is, I have had CBT, hypnosis, read anxiety self-help books and seen a counsellor and sometimes I feel like there is so much going around in my head and I'm not sure where to start to implement all the above.
I bit of a weird question I know...
Thanks:)
Hi Pomchi
I am not sure if there is a blueprint as such as everyone is different. I have posted before about what seems to have helped me make progress, but I am also aware that I am far from out of the HA woods yet. However the general direction of travel seems positive so I am happy to accept that for the time being.
Feel free to glance back through my old posts, but I should stress that it is only my opinion.
Just a quick one. I've heard from Sean and he is seeking help today. I'm not going to post his personal business on here but I have very good reason to believe he will indeed do so.
I'm sure everyone wishes him the best of luck and hopes he gets what he needs.
That's such good news. Have been so worried about him
missacorah
23-12-13, 18:11
Just a quick one. I've heard from Sean and he is seeking help today. I'm not going to post his personal business on here but I have very good reason to believe he will indeed do so.
I'm sure everyone wishes him the best of luck and hopes he gets what he needs.
That's great to hear. Ive been checking in on this thread for the past couple of days but haven't really felt able to offer any advice to Sean. All the best to you Sean :)
Mrs Anxious
23-12-13, 21:49
I too have been reading this thread and although I am in no position to offer advice I am glad that Sean is finally getting the help he needs x
AuntieMoosie
24-12-13, 00:39
and breath!!
There needs to be some calm, rational thinking brought back to this thread.
No one is to blame for anything, not Sean and not anyone that has tried to help.
This is like a classic case or near hysteria, and I can easily see what's happened and what's happening.
The thing is, we're all of us on NMP dealing with anxiety and maybe depression issues too, as has been said by many, it's only the nicest, kindest people that seem to suffer like this.
I've just read every single post on this thread and I could see it unfolding into manic hysteria coming from all angles!!
Sean, you are catastrophising and you are having spells of irrational hysteria. All the while that you are this unwell, help will not be able to reach you in the form of CBT, you are too unwell to have that therapy for now.
I truly hope that you are indeed seeking professional help because that is exactly what is needed.
The doctors will be able to treat you and bring you "down" from the state that you are in at the moment and then they will be able to get you on appropriate treatment to get you out of this state and on the road to recovery.
Sean there is no one on this Earth, believe me, who can do this for you apart from professionals.
Please trust them and put yourself in their very capable and experienced hands. I wish you all the very best Sean, you will get better but you need professional treatment. :hugs:
To everyone else who is trying to help Sean.
What quite often happens, is we see someone in an irrational and hysterical state, and because we are all sufferers too, one of us may become a little distressed, then it catches and builds up and up, until you get exactly what has happened on this thread..........mass hysteria!
Sean is desperate for help, bless him, we are all desperate to help him because we can't stand to see him so distressed, but because we're unable to reach Sean right now, we then feel frustrated, hurt, angry and the rest of the whole cabang!!
I agree with Nic in that I don't believe for one minute that Sean is deliberately misleading or lying to anyone, I believe exactly what Nic does, that Sean felt like he was being badgered into doing this! that! and the other and he was desperately trying to please everyone by trying everything that was being advised to him.
But, sadly, Sean can't do that right now, his mind is like a jigsaw puzzle that, right now, is all messed up, he can't think straight, he can't concentrate but he feels he must try to please the people who are trying to help him.
So, for now, Sean needs to STOP!! and we need to STOP!! but only for now, just whilst he gets the professional help he so badly needs. Once he is feeling better and can start to think straight again, he can come back and he will then be able to respond in a rational way.
So as I've said, NO ONE PERSON OR PEOPLE, have done any wrong, it's just all got a bit out of control that's all.
So let's not let any of us have any hard feelings towards anyone, because we were all doing it for the right reasons, including Sean, we just all got a bit carried away.
Group hugs :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:
And hugs for Sean :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Fantastic post AuntiMoosie,
After my initial knee jerk reaction, I thought about it and have been in contact with Sean a little. I now think I understand better what happened.
Looking at the almost childlike slip up's that Sean made to lead to this situation, it is obvious that he is no cunning and experienced liar, just a desperate, scared man.
In my opinion, Sean hasn't quite reached the "acceptance" level and is not strong enough yet to follow some of the wonderful advice he has been given. I think that he had a short time a little while ago where he felt stronger and really intended to try to do as we all suggested but then he fell back down.
With so many people who have made so much progress cheering him on, I think Sean felt even more inferior with a side helping of extra self loathing, thinking that if they could do it, he should be able to. And so he didn't want people to think bad of him, and he was so grateful for the care and help people were giving him he didn't want to throw it back in their faces or to lose their support.
It is totally understandable that people got fed up and said something (hell, I did!) but I want everyone to know that even if it felt like it, your time wasn't wasted - you made one very scared person with very low confidence feel like people thought he was worth some effort every time you replied to him so thoughtfully. He just wasn't in a position to follow some of the advice.
Until Sean feels stronger, with the right professional help, he will just try to get through each day by whatever means necessary. If that means asking for reassurance then it is totally ok if some people don't want to given what has happened. But I personally won't mind doing it (in a way that is comfortable for me, obviously) now that I know the score.
And I swear, he is a very nice guy indeed. He's just very very ill.
Hello Kate,
Have you heard how Sean is at all? Still worried about him
x
I've had a short note yes - he's bearing up!
Ok thanks. That's good news.
Hope you are ok and coping with the anxiety that is Christmas! It makes a nice change to worry about how big the queues in Tescos are going to be, rather than symptoms and life-threatening illnesses.
Maybe we HA sufferers should celebrate Christmas every week. Now there's a cure x
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