Debbie!4
21-12-13, 19:53
Hi everyone.. It's kinda depressing talking about depression but thought I'd see if it helped in a cathartic way writing it and/or hearing from others in a similar state..
I've suffered from depression, low mood, anxiety, panic attacks pretty much my whole adult life. Mostly I've managed myself, with a get on with it attitude, I am an exercise freak which keeps me sane(ish) & eating healthily. Not sure what's happened recently but took myself to the doctor 3 weeks ago as felt that nothing was in my control, angry about everything, crying a lot, drinking a lot, feeling anxious etc... I was signed off work & given mirtazapine 15mg. The first week was great due to getting some much needed sleep (I suffer consistently with extreme insomnia). The last 72hrs have been hell. I can't stop crying, I can't relax, I've got an intense feeling of fear & panic, I alternate between a night of sleep to being wide awake as if I've taken speed, I was doing housework at 4am this morning.. I don't trust any of my closest friends & don't even feel safe & settled in my own home. For the first time in years I felt like I wanted to end my life last night!
I'm only 3 weeks in so is this normal? I hate feeling so desperate & alone & insane :-(
I've suffered from depression, low mood, anxiety, panic attacks pretty much my whole adult life. Mostly I've managed myself, with a get on with it attitude, I am an exercise freak which keeps me sane(ish) & eating healthily. Not sure what's happened recently but took myself to the doctor 3 weeks ago as felt that nothing was in my control, angry about everything, crying a lot, drinking a lot, feeling anxious etc... I was signed off work & given mirtazapine 15mg. The first week was great due to getting some much needed sleep (I suffer consistently with extreme insomnia). The last 72hrs have been hell. I can't stop crying, I can't relax, I've got an intense feeling of fear & panic, I alternate between a night of sleep to being wide awake as if I've taken speed, I was doing housework at 4am this morning.. I don't trust any of my closest friends & don't even feel safe & settled in my own home. For the first time in years I felt like I wanted to end my life last night!
I'm only 3 weeks in so is this normal? I hate feeling so desperate & alone & insane :-(