In a panic over colon cancer

[paul80]

I'm really glad to have found this forum.

My parents and younger sister all died young (from different conditions) and I know this triggered my health anxiety.

I once suspected I had skin cancer and it turned out to be eczema. I was convinced a sore throat was cancer of the oesophagus.

My problem is that I am rarely ill, so when I do get something, I always suspect the worst first.

Now, my latest problem. I've always suffered from excess wind since I was a boy, but about two months ago, I got really bad trapped wind and my abdomen swelled up. It also started gurgling loudly. It eventually went away and I thought that was that. But since then, it has returned. It comes in waves, so I have good days and bad days.

The wind hasn't affected my appetite, energy levels or my toilet habits (once or twice a day) and I'm finding it hard to shift the extra stone and a half I'm carrying...

I was getting increasingly anxious about the problem not going away and made the mistake of using Dr Google. I noticed that bloating is sign of colon cancer in people my age (mid fifties).

I went to the doctor two weeks ago, and she had a quick check and then arranged for blood and stool tests for the following week.

After seeing the doctor, my anxiety level shot up; I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep and my wife said I was acting like a nervous wreck. It got so bad that I called my doctor and screamed down the phone that I knew I had Stage 4 colon cancer. Then, to my eternal shame, I told my wife and my brother that I was dying of cancer. The distress I caused them is appalling.

My doctor arranged to see me that same day and I went along with my wife. My doctor wanted to know how I could possibly know that I had colon cancer before I had even had any tests? She told me off for looking at Google.

We talked a lot about how I had been under a lot of stress this year (family and financial) and she said this could be the trigger to my problem.

She said that on the evidence she had seen (she didn't find any lumps) and the fact that I wasn't in pain (just discomfort from the wind), hadn't lost weight, didn't have diarrhoea or constipation, and was still eating okay, didn't suggest that it was. She added, "If I had thought you had cancer, I would have sent you straight off for tests."

I went away feeling reassured and that evening, my wind magically disappeared and I slept really well for the first tme in days.

But, as I'm sure other health anxiety sufferers will recognise, the demons soon returned. I tell myself: I'm too old to have IBS, I can't see how stress and anxiety can cause such havoc to the digestive system, so I cannot see what else it can be but colon cancer.

Now, I can't tell whether I have wind or if my stomach is in knots from my anxiety.

I went for my blood and stool tests last Monday and I'm due to see the doctor again on New Year's Eve.

I'm really trying hard to hold things together over Christmas and keep the anxiety in check, but it isn't easy. Thank you for reading this.

[hheavenlyangel]

Hi Paul, Just try to relax. No matter what, you're going to be ok. We all do some pretty crazy things. Just take a look around here at the things we all talk about. Stop googling things - honestly its turning you into a nervous wreck. Your Dr said she if she thought you had something she would have sent you for tests immediately so beleive her when she tells you this. You're fine. Are you taking any medication for the anxiety? Im on Effexor 225 and it really helps.

[paul80]

Thank you hheavenlyangel - your words are a great comfort. I keep running all these dreadful scenarios through my head, such as leaving my wife and children. My doctor prescribed Amitriptyline for my anxiety and depression. Thank you again for taking the trouble to write - it means a lot to me.

[unsure_about_this]

Hi Paul

Please try not to Google anymore. I have done the crime of Googling, looking on cancer websites etc.

I been through the cancer worries myself and still going through them. Sorry to hear about your parents and younger sister all died young.

My anxiety started fully when my Dad had to do a poop sample for bowel screening because of his age in 2012, his test was fine. I foolish went on Google and had a number of trips to the doctors because of my abdominal pain because I feared I might have bowel cancer, but nothing serious has been found for me. just a small possible pouch on the small bowel which I may have had from birth (or maybe it just like the 1st GP I saw IBS)

[paul80]

Hi Phil. Many thanks for your message. It's a comfort knowing I'm not the only one who has gone through this.

[Fishmanpa]

Often when I read a post, I'll either see irrationality or rationality. This is the latter. Although you're stressed and exhibit symptoms of anxiety, the post is a written record of your rational mind trying to convince the irrational mind from taking control and it appears to me you did just that. You only need to read your post again to see that you have control over the beast.

Positive thoughts

[paul80]

Hi Fishmanpa, can you elaborate a little please? Are you saying I'm not suffering from anxiety?

[Fishmanpa]

Sure Paul,

It's obvious you have some anxiety. BUT it's also obvious that it doesn't totally have you. In your writing you admit to having it and you know what the trigger was (sorry to hear about this).

"My parents and younger sister all died young (from different conditions) and I know this triggered my health anxiety."


Then you speak about what you tend to always do:

"My problem is that I am rarely ill, so when I do get something, I always suspect the worst first."


Then you speak about a wind problem. Which incidentally, many people have to various degrees, although not openly discussed in social circles ~lol~

Friend: So how you doing Paul?

Paul: Great except for a bad case of the farts today


You progress in your post how it sort of took a left turn from what you're used to. Gurgles etc. At the same time you rationalize the symptoms by saying everything otherwise was normal.

Then you speak about losing control, using Dr. Google etc. But the point is, you recognize that you did.

The reassurance relieved the symptoms. That is very common with HA sufferers. Reassurance works. Unfortunately, as you know, only for a short time. But again, you recognize it.

The point is, you know deep down that you're fine and that your stomach issues are the result of stress and most likely some IBS. The anxiety beast is trying to take over and you're fighting him off as evidenced by:

"I'm really trying hard to hold things together over Christmas and keep the anxiety in check, but it isn't easy."


So you recognize what's happening. Do you have anxiety? Yep. But does it have you? not totally. There's some folks on the forum far worse off for sure. It's my opinion that with some CBT techniques you can keep things at bay and at a manageable level. It's something you should speak to your doctor about or go ahead and download the course that's available here and put it into practice.

Positive thoughts

[paul80]

Thank you so much for your answer Fishmanpa. It's very reassuring. I'm trying hard to replace my negative thoughts with positive ones. Finding this forum has been a godsend.

[Lana]

Dear Paul,

I just want to tell you that I was diagnosed with IBS at the age of 45, never before that. And it was after I requested colonoscopy because I was sure I had colon cancer. So you are not too old for that, it all depends on the anxiety level and stress, and especially fear. It is known that fear hits directly into stomach and causes all kinds of stomach problems. Do not worry, and especially do not rely on Google since one can ALWAYS find some symptoms that would lead to some kind of cancer - it is almost like a joke.

[paul80]

Dear Lana,

Thanks very much for your message. That's great to know.

A Happy Christmas and thanks again to everyone who has kindly helped me cope with my anxiety.