phil6
22-12-13, 14:58
I will try and be short with this as there is a temptation to go into unecessary details.
I have GAD, with a bit if social anxiety thrown in.
I am desperately frightened of people outside of my family knowing about it as it feels like a failing I have which is embarrassing.
I usually do not avoid things but when things get very uncomfortable I tend to feel like I am holding on to myself to just get through the day.
I can only describe the anxiety I feel as dread. It feels like I am the only person feeling like this when in the company of others. I just want to get out, and go home, but I don't.
I take deep breaths and try and float through the feelings but the feelings keep washing over me.
I always manage to hang on until I get home, and then I cannot resist the urge to break down and let it all out. It seems like the only way to get some relief, apart from alcohol, but it feels like breaking down is the wrong way to deal with things, too despairing, too exhausting.
Now I know I have absolutely nothing to fear, except the way I feel.
My mind obviously finds all sorts to worry about but they are all rubbish and I know it.
I just get this feeling that some part of my mind wants to tell me sometheing, but I don't know what. I am doing CBT and have just started on Mertazapine as I got very low.
I cannot stop trying to find and answer, but part if me knows there probably isn't one.
I desperately want to go through these anxiuos spells in a better way than I am. I know I will never be able to like these spells, they feel awful. I do think however that I need some concrete thoughts to help me but cannot find the ones that mean anything to me when I am feeling the anxiety.
How do you tell yourself that there isn't some deep meaningful message, some moment when you realise something which will suddenly help. If I could just pass through these spells with some kind of confidence then I would feel I am making progress.
I know I have asked this many time in posts, but is this cycle all part of anxiety. Can I disregard my minds urge to do something, to discover something, to do something better? I would sooooo like to give my mind a rest... But I cannot stop thinking about anxiety.
Also as part of my CBT homework I am supposed to identify triggering thoughts which I have massive problems doing. I just find myself ruminating over what was the thought!
Help would be great.
Phil
I have GAD, with a bit if social anxiety thrown in.
I am desperately frightened of people outside of my family knowing about it as it feels like a failing I have which is embarrassing.
I usually do not avoid things but when things get very uncomfortable I tend to feel like I am holding on to myself to just get through the day.
I can only describe the anxiety I feel as dread. It feels like I am the only person feeling like this when in the company of others. I just want to get out, and go home, but I don't.
I take deep breaths and try and float through the feelings but the feelings keep washing over me.
I always manage to hang on until I get home, and then I cannot resist the urge to break down and let it all out. It seems like the only way to get some relief, apart from alcohol, but it feels like breaking down is the wrong way to deal with things, too despairing, too exhausting.
Now I know I have absolutely nothing to fear, except the way I feel.
My mind obviously finds all sorts to worry about but they are all rubbish and I know it.
I just get this feeling that some part of my mind wants to tell me sometheing, but I don't know what. I am doing CBT and have just started on Mertazapine as I got very low.
I cannot stop trying to find and answer, but part if me knows there probably isn't one.
I desperately want to go through these anxiuos spells in a better way than I am. I know I will never be able to like these spells, they feel awful. I do think however that I need some concrete thoughts to help me but cannot find the ones that mean anything to me when I am feeling the anxiety.
How do you tell yourself that there isn't some deep meaningful message, some moment when you realise something which will suddenly help. If I could just pass through these spells with some kind of confidence then I would feel I am making progress.
I know I have asked this many time in posts, but is this cycle all part of anxiety. Can I disregard my minds urge to do something, to discover something, to do something better? I would sooooo like to give my mind a rest... But I cannot stop thinking about anxiety.
Also as part of my CBT homework I am supposed to identify triggering thoughts which I have massive problems doing. I just find myself ruminating over what was the thought!
Help would be great.
Phil