View Full Version : we all no that accept is the answer way to scarey
I have read so many books in the end they all same more or less the same tuning don't fight it let it happen let it do it worse accept don't fight but be honest how many of us are brave enough to do this as wen I am over anxious heading foe a panic attack I can't not do anything but fight just would like to hear how others react to there panic and from those ho have braved it and eccpted it and not fight take care Trish x
Hi Trish,
I used to be like that and fight it, but now I just accept everything that is
fired at me. I still get worried and scared , hospital today and health
issues. and I tend to stop everything eating etc. but over the years I have
learned that if I don't accept things, the worry and stress make everything
10 times worse. so I try my best to go with the flow. the worst that can
happen is I will die, and if I die , so be it.
I have found that if you are really stressed, a wee trick, just think in 24 hrs
my mind will not think the same way. another day is always different.
so day by day, hour by hour if need be.
Annie
Hi Trish, you are so right. Acceptance is one of the most difficult things that I have tried to do. I'm not perfect at it but the more that impractice, the better at it I become. Acceptance doesn't mean that I am not scared sometimes or that I'm never anxious. It just, at least for me, means that when the physical symptoms of anxiety come, I don't "what if" myself to death. I feel the symptom, I feel the fear, and then I continue to tell myself that nits only anxiety. Not easy. At first it didn't work. It took months of trying it before it really started to work for me.
I find that distracting myself with something else and then continuously just telling myself that it's anxiety and it can't hurt me helps.
Hope this helped somewhat.
Thanks for the reply my biggest fear is death so I would find if hard to say that to myself I have suffed panic anxiety and ferry agoraphobic now since I was 12 now 58 so going to be hard for me to change habbktr of over forty years I wish x
You're right Tish. Breaking a forty year habit is not going to be easy and will take lots of time. But what alternative do we have other than to try. I don't want forty or even one more year to go be without me trying. All we can do is truly work at it to the bestbof our abilities, one day at a time.
harasgenster
23-12-13, 13:41
Hi, I think it's the words they use when they say those things that can be a little misleading.
When I feel a panic attack coming on I just think to myself 'oh, I'm anxious, but I'm not in any danger'. I slow down everything I'm doing (often you are moving very quickly when you're anxious), I take deep breaths, and I recognise that the panic attack won't happen if I don't get myself worked up about it.
It's less that you accept the panic attack once it's happening, and more that you recognise when a panic attack is coming on and don't fight it then, just relax and distract yourself, perhaps call someone for a conversation to take your mind off it.
Once you get the knack for it you can massively reduce the number of attacks you have. I haven't had an attack for years although i've felt them coming on from time to time.
cheshirecatqee
23-12-13, 17:34
Acceptance is difficult at first but once you do it properly it makes a lot of difference.
I never fight, ignore or avoid anxiety any more as none of these works, instead I focus on it and observe the sensations letting them come and go. I learnt how to do this through mindfulness and it has been the first time in about 10 years that the anxiety has started to disappear, not completely as there will always be situations that even a person with no history of anxiety would feel it but that doesn't bother me as I'm so close to normal attitude to anxiety now.
So I really even need to except the fear cuts its been that kicks in yrball over place
cymraig_chris
23-12-13, 22:21
What are you trying to accept ...
You are trying to accept something you have tagged as bad.
Panic is often stated as being fear of fear. It's more basic than even that.
It's is no more than a normal safe chemical. Adrenaline, nothing more.
It's not fear, it's not even false fear, it's just a chemical, that is present because we have told ourselves that the existence of the safe chemical itself is scary.
That's all it is, that's all it ever was, that's all it ever will be...
Here's a deep seated understanding that you may want to ponder.
Adrenaline exists, so does pepsi, and dogs and christmas trees.
Fear does not, never has done and never will exist, anywhere ever.
Animals do not fear, they just experience adrenaline in appropriate situations and get the hell out of town or bite each other.
They do not even have a word for fear. They do not attach meaning to it, because it has no meaning, it (adrenaline) is a chemical tool.
Fear is an imagined concept that human have created to define a segment of their experience when adrenaline is released.
Its NOTHING more than a word, a word that we have attached daft meaning to.
cheshirecatqee
26-12-13, 12:27
So I really even need to except the fear cuts its been that kicks in yrball over place
The problem is we have become sensitised to anxiety and automatically fear it but it can't do any harm. Fear makes anxiety worse so the opposite is best.
Hi all,
From reading the posts here on this thread, we can all see how we find it difficult to really accept. Fear has 2 components. Feelings in the body and faulty thoughts.
And although there are some good points here , there is an underlying aim with our posts....Reassurance.
Yes, we can all reassure ourselves that our false alarms, for that is what they are, do us no harm, and that they have a limited effect, and that they will change and pass with time, but I don't think we should try and like them.
I get general anxiety rather than panic attacks ( although I have experienced them) and so I spend most of the day, through habit, feeling that something awful is about to happen.
Now I know that this is not fact based, and I don't have any "real" worries but I'd still feel the dread. I still get tearful and down about my state.
I don't think I will ever make friends with this feeling, it ain't nice. I do beleive though that I need to stop believing my own thoughts. These are real, and believable, but I need to understand that they are incorrect. Not my fault as they are part of anxiety, but if I get drawn into believing the messages they bring then I will remain unwell.
This is the basis of CBT. Yes the thoughts are real, they are here, but they are not the truth.
The hardest part of this for me is resisting the urge to think my way out of the way I am feeling. Sometimes, not often, I find myself realising that I do not need to deal with my anxiety. I don't need to have a plan in my mind. I don't need to do something.
It feels very dangerous to just let it be. It's a weight off your mind but it does feel very wrong.
And remember that with anxiety, doing what feels wrong is usually dead right!
Phil
cymraig_chris
26-12-13, 23:01
Phil ...
Anxiety is not an illness, it's an emotion.
So is Happiness.
Is happiness safe?
yes.
can you play with happiness?
yes.
Do you solve or cure happiness?
No of course not.
Anxiety = Fear
Fear = Imagination
Imagination = Thoughts
Thoughts = Completely Safe
Completely Safe = Plaything
Plaything = Amusing
Amusing = Causes Laughter
Causes Laughter = Happiness
This is not a chain if events, it's a series of equivalency statement.
Ie Anxiety = Happiness.
Why do they feel different? Because of perspective. Your perspective is that you believe there is something wrong with you.
What are you trying to cure? There is no illness. The only source of anxiety is the attempt to remove it to get to a future date when you do no have anxiety.
In fact, you don't have anxiety right now. You just BELIEVE that you do.
I KNOW that you don't.
You believe that you do because of all the bullshit you have absorbed from people who do not understand the simplicity of anxiety through incomplete information.
You BELIEVED there was something wrong with you.
I KNOW there is not.
You tried to cure it. You attempted to cure it, this attempt made you anxious.
Anxiety is a time gap between where you are now and where you want to be ... Cured.
Have you ever laughed so hard your belly hurt, and you we gasping for breath, your face went red, your heart was pumping, you started sweating, your legs went to jelly, your head hurt etc etc ?
Did you think this was dangerous?
When understanding the above in entirety you will see that you are already cured. Well more accurately, you have never been ill.
This understanding removes the time gap and your fear vanishes, ie your negative thoughts ... You are left with sensations no different from laughter or excitement.
Cú Chulainn
27-12-13, 03:19
Phil ...
Have you ever laughed so hard your belly hurt, and you we gasping for breath, your face went red, your heart was pumping, you started sweating, your legs went to jelly, your head hurt etc etc ?
Did you think this was dangerous?
When understanding the above in entirety you will see that you are already cured. Well more accurately, you have never been ill.
I Like that Bit :yesyes:
cymraig_chris
27-12-13, 20:09
Anxiety/Panic is
A collection of sensations + a story we have told ourselves that these sensations are scary
That's all it is, that's all it will ever be.
The reason it is difficult and takes so long to 'cure' is because everyone tells you it is difficult and it takes a long time.
Imagine you were born into and lived in a culture where everyone told you that's it's an easy thing to cure and it takes a few minutes or at most hours to cure.
What would happen?
You would only be anxious for a few minutes or hours.
Anxiety is complete ********. It means nothing, it's just a collection of safe funny sensations.
Thanks guys like I say it is the answer but so hard to do xx
Hiya. I've recently started cbt and my therapist has told me to sit threw them and not use my distraction techniques. It's so hard though it's like you just can't do it. The thought process while having one is awful. And every time you think it won't stop especially when the symptoms are different .it's hard work x
cymraig_chris
28-12-13, 16:29
Just remember panic is it's own cure
Anxiety is it's own cure.
It is the release of energy you have been storing within.
That's why acceptance works. We accept that our anxiety is being released.
So just remember ... Anxiety is actually anxiety release
Panic is just panic release.
When you are in a panic, you are actually releasing stored tension. Same goes for GAD, you are just releasing stored tension.
Anxiety and panic are just the fearing of the body curing itself.
cymraig_chris
30-12-13, 22:56
Just remember, what you are accepting is a safe body chemical release that is exactly the same as excitement. There is no physiological difference.
What are you trying to accept ...
Its NOTHING more than a word, a word that we have attached daft meaning to.
Just thought i would say thanks for that - i keep seeing your posts around the site and i find them so insightful and so useful. Makes me see things in a different and better way :-)
think am mainly with Chris on this one,
embrace your panic, welcome it, try to bring it on more than you have ever wanted anything before, encourage it........., never fight it or 'stop' it, ever!!....... in fact, wish it every day!!!!
thetube82
DustingMyselfOff
22-01-14, 21:34
Sorry for posting to an older thread but I've just discovered (or re-discovered) this wonderful site and am reading through current and older posts.
This line really hit home with me:
The hardest part of this for me is resisting the urge to think my way out of the way I am feeling. Sometimes, not often, I find myself realising that I do not need to deal with my anxiety. I don't need to have a plan in my mind. I don't need to do something.
That is probably the biggest part of my problem. When I have a panic attack or feel one coming on, my first reaction is "Oh no -WHY????" I want an ANSWER for it and if I can come up with one (be it true or not) then I feel better. I analyze and re-live and over-think my attacks to death. So if I could, like the original poster of the above lines, realize and accept that I don't need to deal with them or find a reason for them, I would probably have less of them.
Thanks for all being here.... one of the best forums I've seen on this subject.
Sue
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