most wonderful time of the year and im not feeling wonderful..anyone else?!

[worried 101]

hey guys.
feeling pretty down right now.
I had an emergency op on my back on friday and its pretty painful, the nurse has to come over to dress it as its has to be packed etc. so have to wait in to see her and as some may know I suffer badly from relationship anxiety and am still finding this v difficult.
Not only that but find christmas is a really crappy time for me, I went through a messy breakup with my ex around christmas years ago now and was v painful(I broke up with him) but actually getting to that point was hard and made me feel awful and that feeling comes back to me at this time of year,which does not help my relationship anxieties!
I used to chritsmas it but find it very hard to keep the christmas cheer up when you dont feel it, feel like theres so much to do and got no time, works usually a good distraction but told not to work cos of my back.
Also got really anxious cos my partners children were being naughty yesteday and then one of them was really bad, had full on tantrums and nothing would work to make her behave. She isnt v well atm which didnt help and did apologise in the end but just really stressed me out...I know kids can be hard work and that, just feels like everything a bit crappy atm at supposedly the 'best time of year.'

[Rennie1989]

I'm not a fan of crimbo myself. I find it far too commercialised and there's little emphasis on the true meaning. It's also stressful, trying to get the right presents and buying the sodding things with a budget.

I've experienced some naff Christmases in the past. Whilst it's easy to be reminded by them, especially where Christmas is involved, it's an opportunity to create new happy memories. Don't let illness spoil it, just look forward to spending time with family, the food, entertainment, the cheesy cracker jokes.

[worried 101]

Thankyou rennie, that is good advice :)
I have really been trying to keep up the festive cheer, but sometimes that mask drops and you feel the anxiety and depression creeping up.
sometimes i feel like I am a ticking bomb and theres only a matter of time till the i suddenly explode!

[Fishmanpa]

cheesy cracker jokes.

I want to hear a cheesy cracker joke! :)

Positive thoughts

[MrAndy]

i am getting anxious over Christmas and finding it hard not to be wound up by it all,no idea why its getting to me though

[worried 101]

i find for me its such a big build up...everyones extra happy and you sort of feel you have to keep up with others, therefore adding to anxieties. just have this feeling in the pit of my stomach, like a big knot that just wont loosen.
im so worried and anxious nd being around people so festive is tricky

[rb1978]

I don't like Christmas. I used to but since I lost most of my family it isnt the same at all. I suffered a bereavement over Christmas too once which was terrible.

I don't decorate my house or put cards up. I have gone to some family in the past on the day but often feel like a spare part. Which is an awful thing to say as I really like them...I'm not just going through thr motions visiting relatives im not keen on or anything.

I tend to feel relief in boxing day if I'm honest.

[worried 101]

Heya rb.
Thankyoubfor your reply.
Im really sorry to hear of your losses,its a horrible time to lpse people you love and i really hope that you have the happiest christmas you can, i can completely understand that it must be so hard for you and why you wouldnt want to celebrate. hearing your story makes me feel like i really dont have anything to complain about!
i seem to feel better towards the eve and then the morning it starts all over again.plus have horrible anxiety dreams so even in my sleep is plagued with anxiety.trying so hard to leep upbeat but feel like i could burst into tears at any time!