SAD!!!!!!!!!!

[yorkylover]

:(Im feeling so low,I dont know whats wrong with me.I had counselling about 10 years ago,now Im starting counselling again on Thursday.I feel like Iv gone full circle and Im back at the beginning again.Today I feel very angry and depressed.Im not sure if its depression or anxiety!!!!
I ache all over my body,it hurts so much.I want to cry and cant.I feel full of anger an have these suicidal thoughts going through my mind,but not that I want to do it,just feel it would be better for everyone if I wasnt here,family ect.Im not looking forward to my birthday at all,wish everyone would forget it totally.
Are These thoughts part of anxiety today or depression.I feel like I want to explode inside.Please help me,I feel so alone here.:([Sigh...]

Ellen XX

[Fly2Freedom]

Hi,me too, Im really down and anxious.
I tried 4 massive overdoses in the past and Im still here.
Someone up there wants me to stay.
Dont try it,its because you have hit rock bottom,but the only way is up when you are on the floor.
Xmas and dark nights stresses me out no end.
Maybe our S.A.D is kicking in?
We need some TLC.
Hope we feel better soon.
You are not alone because I feel the same.[:X]

Love & light to you x

[ceecee]

hi ellen
i think it,s a mixture of anxiety and depression
are you on any meds at the mo??
i know its hard but just keep telling yourself that o.k i,m low i can,t get any lower,the only way i can go is up!!!!!!
i really think that darker evenings don,t help,as we have more time on our hands to think about things.
sending you hugs
rachel x

[Alexocelix]

Ceecee, I think you are absolutely right. Maybe what you are feeling is simply that you have lost the train of thought that can make you happy. I was feeling just like you a couple of days ago. Certainly I don't think the earlier nights helped. However, I think how you feel now can help you put things in perspective so you can begin to feel happy once more.

Gradually, if you do the things that you know will bring happiness, I really really hope you can start to find it again. For me, this involved looking at my thoughts, realising that I was always assuming the worst, and realising that over the years I had started to over-exhaggerate my normal reactions to stress, it may well have been the shortening days for example, as an initial trigger.

Try focusing on the present. Your family must feel for you, and that is something to take great joy from. Take joy that you feel for your family. I agree that it is hard to know where anxiety ends and depression begins, probably they are linked very closely by fearful or anxious thoughts. But this doesn't mean that either have to stay with you.

[LickeyEndBlues]

<center>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Ellen}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}</center>

Ellen I could quite easily have written that post several times!! You are absolutely not on your own on this, I'll bet there are loads of folks in here who will be reading and nodding.

My 50th passed two years ago and the best I could rise to was a family meal and the 4 of us went to see a flipping tribute band!! (the band are actually pretty good and if you like Fleetwood Mac go see them...Fleetwood Bac!!)

Bottomline, you will get over it...it is cyclical. It's just what you do with the support you get and how deep you look within for the answers.

Take care Ellen

Iain
x

Laissez les bon temp roulez

[kazzie]

Thinking of you Ellen

Feel free to pm me

Luv Kaz x x x

[Trev]

It definitely would not be better if you were not here. Your family and friends would be distraught.

You are having a blip which, as we all know, is not uncommon.

You have done it before and so you can do it again. Stick with it. I don't think that this time of year is the best as it gets dark early and the weather's not so good. It all adds up sometimes.

Treat it as a blip and so you can come back from it. Go easy on yourself and give it time. If you can get outside and walk I always found that helped, even just a bit.

Trev

[domino]

I to feel for you ellen, you just need to get this week out of the way. Things will get better for you i promise, p.m. me anytime .lorraine xx

[mingsy]

Hi Ellen
You sound like a carbon copy of me a week ago. I too had counselling and meds about 10 years ago, although never completely cured from anxiety I managed a normal life. But gradually since January I've gone down hill again off sick from work for 12 weeks, can't cope with anything, kept thinking if this gets any worse then I don't want to be here, would be easier for my family if I wasn't. But I think I've finally turned the corner again and yes there is light at the end of the tunnel, I think you have to reach the bottom before you can come up again. The anxiety causes the depression in my opinion, just by coming to this site shows you want to fight it and that is what you will do, just remember that you have done it once before so you can do it again.
keep hopefull
jane

JANE

[carlin]

Hi darling, am sorry you are feeling so down at the moment, things will get better darling, that i promise, break it into stages, now, regarding birthday, what plans do you have if any, cos it is your day mate, do not be browbeaten into doing something you don't feel able to do....then see what happens with the counsellor, it may help, take it one session at a time.....now my little treasure, what on earth would your family do without you? These are thoughts, everyone has them at times, try to put some loud music on, shout/scream/dance/cry anything.....as has been said this is a blip, the only way is up, and you can do it mate xxxjean

[PITITA]

Hi Ellen!

The amount of times I have felt like this is countless so your definitely not alone. It does hurt me also that I am so so angry since my anxiety, have no tolerance for almost anything, people do recognize that in me now which hurts me even more because I do not want to be this angry all the time. I know its not nice to say, but it gives me a bit of relief to know I am not the only one feeling like this! Big bear hugs to you and I hope you feel a bit better by tomorrow :) Love xxx

"If you magnify your imperfections and minimize your good points, you're guaranteed to feel inferior. But the problem isn't YOU its- its the crazy lenses you are wearing! " Feeling Good handbook

[happyone]

Hey!
Like others have said, it is a blip. You got counselling ten years ago and have obviously had bettwer times since then and you will again. I've had counselling three times in the past twenty years, each time it helps but sometimes my demons pop up to remind me they are there! I'm now trying CBT and med, which is helping but for me the biggest part has been admitting that I have this problem and realising that I have to accept help.
Your family want and need you.
Take care
Happyone
x

[creatrix]

Ellen, i promise the world would not be a better place without you. sorry for being a nerd, but John Donne comes to mind:

No man is an island, entire of itself
every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main
if a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were,
as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own were
any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind
and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls
it tolls for thee.

You seem a very sweet and kind person, so please remember that it gets better. It will - i promise. It's hard to see that sometimes, but it does.

Bright blessings!

[honeybee3939]

Hi Ellen,

Things will get better for you hun i promise you that, i spent all of my 30s suffering with agorophobia and thought there would never be an end to it all, i could have written your post myself many times, i was dreading reaching 40 thinking i was going be the same in my 40s too! But things do improve, i am loads better now and enjoying life, i started with councilling Ellen so think of it as a start to getting better. Things will get better Hun.

Thinking of you!

Hugs too

Love

Andrea
xxx

[manmoor]

Hi Ellen,

Thinking of you hun and I know this wee blip will pass for you as I've been there myself many times. Sending lots of hugs and postiive vibes your way. xoxox

Take Care

Mandyxx

[mooks]

hi ellen
much love to you....im the same 10 years on Im back struggling again...not wanting to put my family through this again

xxxx

[matilda]

Hi Ellen, dont you think its strange that you feel so bad with this birthday coming up??? It is obviously effecting you!!!

Dont lose heart Honey youre family and partner love you to bits and look at all the replies you have, people here care also and want to help.


Take care Sweetie and pm if you need to

((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

[yorkylover]

Thank you everyone,you are all so lovely.I had a cry just reading your replies.I have no friends for support so you all made me feel really at ease.Your all so wonderfull,no matter how you all feel your selves you all still take time to relpy people.You are all very special people.
I feel a little better today.I had a free session of EFT,its really strange,but it was good.Dont know if I will have another go as its £65 a time.
Thank you all
lots of love

Ellen XX

[missacorah]

Glad you are feeling a little better today my sweet. Sending you positive vibes!I have a few today lol (unlike me i know)!

What is EFT Ellen?

[Chopper]

Afternoon all,

I've not managed to make it through a winter since 9/11 (World Trade Center attack) and have been off work from early/late september to late April/early May each Autumn & Winter since.

Now, I don't know if it's a placebo or if it actually works but, coupled with 40mg of Citalopram a day, I've been using a Lightbox to simulate daylight and have to admit that, unlike a lot of people on the same medication, I've been sleeping well, very well.

Since we changed the clocks back I've been using the lamp for longer each day and going to bed ever earlier but I'm just about managing to keep my aggitation/anxiety in control.

I've lots of side effects (see my other posts) but sleeping well seems to be a real bonus. Is it the lamp? I don't know, maybe?

Happiness and light to you all,
'Chopper'

I saw her once, one little while, and then no more:
’Twas Eden’s light on Earth a while, and then no more.
Amid the throng she passed along the meadow-floor:
Spring seemed to smile on Earth awhile, and then no more;
But whence she came, which way she went, what garb she wore
I noted not; I gazed a while, and then no more!

James Clarence Mangan 1803 - 1849

[yorkylover]

EFT is to do with energy trance,dont really understand much about it yet.You release energy through different pulses in the body.Bit like accupuncter but with out the needles.

Ellen XX

[mick]

good luck ellen you seem like an absolute diamond like you im slipping down a bit but i think its part of the healing process we wil get ther in the end, thanks for replying to my post much appreciated, i hope you feel better soon and good luck with the therapy
take care
Mick

[kittykat]

Hi Ellen ,
you hang in there and i'm sure you'll pick yourself up again, its a long ongoing journey, two steps forwards one back(well with me its about three LOL). Glad your feeling a little better though, sending good vibes to you xx