Anxiety as a child

[relda]

I'm just pondering, how many of you felt anxious as a child?

I know my parents have said they felt guilty that I was always anxious. Some of my earliest memories are of worry. Every Christmas, Birthday etc I'd worry it would be the last, I still have this fear.

As I grew older (10) I'd worry if my parents were late home, I'd immediately think they'd been killed in a car crash, I've transferred this fear to my hubby & children ( wellbeing at school.)

I used to lie in bed worried that I might stop breathing, as we all know this just serves to make breathing difficult.

Day to day, I couldn't join in at school, I had no friends, found socialising impossible. I'd worry about tests, work, marks etc. when I was studying for my a levels & Uni, I'd rewrite my notes over and over again until they were perfect. If I made a mistake, I'd start again, tipex etc would be an imperfection & I couldn't tolerate that.

I haven told anyone much of this, including my doctor, I've only just opened up about my battles with anxiety. I was forced to do that as things got to the point if non functioning.

[MrAndy]

I was a deep thinker ,worrier and had anxiety as a child
Until recently i didnt have a care in the world but not surprised i now suffer with gad

[Tanner40]

My younger brother died on my eighth birthday and not long after that I became a worrier. I felt as if I had to control everything and yet, at that young age, I felt that I couldn't control anything. my Mother must have felt the same way because she became very controlling and the only thing that she thought that she could control was me.

I believe that incidents in our childhood bear a great weight on how we handle severity and anxiety. It has taken me a great deal of work and therapy just to be able to understand my childhood.

I have since learned that the one thing that can control is my reaction to the things that happen to me, and I can stop anxiety from spiraling into a full blown panic attack.

[Rennie1989]

Ow crikey I was a right worrier as a kid. I had separation anxiety, fear of a flood (we did have a pretty major flood when I was 6), death by starvation when I lost my appetite and a general worry over school, friends, looks (yes, even as a child), my place in this world, and what people thought about me. It's no wonder that I developed panic attacks at 13! I was a smart kid, I remember, I was able to read and write before starting primary school and I was very isolated, so I think I was left to my thoughts too much. School and family were both quite unpleasant for me as a kid, hardly any friends at school and my parents were always working, I have a few fleeting memories of them as a kid.

[nomirawr1]

Jup, I had major anxiety as a child - typically about the same things that give me anxiety now, although at some points in my childhood, I feel I had good reason to be anxious about particular things!

[almamatters]

I was ok until I got to about 12 then I became a very anxious child, I was under confident, clingy and developed HA around this age , I used to beg my parents to take me to the doctors weekly. I also had a deep fear of being poisoned and struggled to eat. I also found it hard to mix at school and only had one or two friends.

[loreen]

Yes I too was an anxious child.I had separation anxiety, and was a perfectionist. I had to get full marks even as a very young child,and was very anxious if teachers didn't like my written work.
I had a few close friends, but was never part of the "in" crowd.
All these things are the same now,just different situations. I believe some people are just born more sensitive and anxious.It is how we learn to deal with it that matters.

Loreen x

[debs71]

Yes.

I was painfully shy as a child, didn't have many friends, had no confidence in myself and was a clingy homebody, only really comfortable with my family. I was like that right through to my teens and beyond.

I have always felt anxious and been a worrier. I have always felt in the shadow of my confident, intelligent, outgoing and high achieving sister, both in childhood and adulthood.

I have always felt I am the black sheep of the family.

[relda]

I can relate a lot of my anxieties back, they're mostly the same as the ones I have today but in different circumstances.

I had a support worker who said that people aren't born anxious, it's something that happens to you that makes you think that way. For some things, I can see how this works, but however hard I try I can not make this theory work for all my anxieties.

Xxx

[grace.M]

reading this post makes me feel a lot less alone :) i was a very shy child and i often had night terrors, but it only developed into almost constant anxiety when i was 13 after one of my parents moved away from me, I had no idea what was going on with me because my dad always said it was just worry, i assumed other people just hid it better! i had panic attacks and a lot of phobias along with separation anxietys but never talked to anyone about it because even when i got really upset or went to my parent after a panic attack it was never a real issue to them, i only got diagnosed with GAD when i was 19 after a bad patch when i moved out, and i'm a lot better now i understand whats going on, all the best to you hope the shared experiences help xx

[relda]

I'm glad the post has helped you Grace.

My parents, always said they felt guilty as they knew I worried excessively as a child but never did anything about it.

[Edie]

I was painfully shy as a child. I barely said a word at school until I was 12. My social anxiety is MUCH better now, but I have developed many other anxieties now. Overall things are no better or worse really.

[Mariacs]

Having only recently started counselling for my anxiety, I have realised just how much childhood events can affect us in adulthood. Along with other things, I used to be afraid of the dark till I was around 10! Instead of enjoying my childhood and living in the moment, I would worry all day about when I would have to go to bed again. My anxiety died down in my teens however it seems to be making a comeback

[hanshan]

Upbringing and childhood events can certainly affect how anxious we are as children and later as adults, but I think there are also people who are born more anxious than average, or have a propensity to anxiety that is set off by childhood events.

[nutjob85]

I was constantly anxious as a child, my parents put it down to me being overly sensitive and instead of getting me help they preferred to make fun of me or call me names. To this day I still keep my distance from my mother and siblings. The fact of the matter is they were the ones who should have helped and nurtured me instead of using me as a source of entertainment. They were emotionally unavailable most of the time unless they had been drinking. When they had been drinking they always argued with each other in front of my sister and me and from time to time they physically assaulted each other in plain view of us. It seemed to me that everyone else mattered more, I can't remember once being helped with homework or supported when I became a victim of bullying at school. I used to go out at night and walk for miles and miles to clear my head, my parents never noticed or asked me if I was having problems. I moved away from home at 15 and didn't return for 9 years. When I did return I found nothing had changed and decided that if my family wanted me in their life then they would be the ones having to try very hard. Obviously my anxiety is still very much there but the difference is I am in control of what/who plays a part in my life. From time to time my family still try and pick away at me, probably without realising they are doing it, but I'm very quick to correct them. My family tend to dwell on things and when this happens I zone out or leave their house, I am the one in control of my own life and feelings now, no one can take that away from me no matter how hard they try

[craigj1303]

I believe some people are just born more sensitive and anxious.It is how we learn to deal with it that matters.

Loreen x

I couldn't agree more. I have always been sensitive and a little fearful. It must be genetic, but as you say, that's no reason to say "oh well, it's built in me, there's nothing I can do about it". It's about how to deal with it. Even if that means just managing it through your life. Managing something and improving it as much as you can is better than doing nothing at all.