View Full Version : Worst day ever
This morning I was talking on the phone to my daughter asking what she got for Christmas whilst getting out of bath and passed phone to wife. When someone asked what she got it went out of my head. I was thinking about going out but should have still known. I knew two things. I panicked and spoke to her again and remember every little thing as was concentrating. I panicked and now on Christmas Day my wife won't have me near her or my children I'm indoors just wanting to die. Why can I not remember can concentration really not make you listen whilst talking to someone on the phone. I have made steps and went to doctor with my wide but nothing
Are you okay? How are you feeling now?
Wanna die I've got alGeimers
Are you with anybody? you shouldn't be on your own at the moment if you are feeling so bad.
Didn't you say you was going out today?
No one I've got alzheimers I know it how did I forget
Sean, you haven't got alzheimers. You are just terrifying yourself. What can you do to calm yourself down? Until you calm down you won't be able to allow any rational thoughts in,
Just keep talking to me on here if it makes you feel better.
I don't know it's Christmas Day I've lost everything And feel like a black hole is it possible I just wasn't concentrating in call how can I be sure though
Firstly, It is VERY possible that it's just a concentration issue, especially based on how your mind has been for the last few weeks. I would think it Odd if you DIDN'T get memory issues!!
Secondly, you cannot be sure (none of us can be sure about what we worry about). This is just something every one of us has to deal with as best we can. All you can do is tell yourself it is so highly unlikely that someone of your age would have alzheimers, and that even your symptoms are not indicative of that desease!
But to do that you have to be calmer and allow rational thoughts in.
Just sit and breathe deeply for 5 minutes and allow your body/adrenaline to slow down. Don't think about anything (if you are so sure you have alzheimers then 5 minutes will make no difference)
Matey,
I've seen someone go through all stages of Alzheimer's and, trust me, you haven't got it. What you do have is severe anxiety and a brain that's playing tricks on you, taking advantage of your fears.
You're no more forgetful than the rest of us, you just notice it more because you're so anxious. I know you're getting help but, for today, just try your best to relax. I promise you (and I never promise) that things will work out fine. I've spent 40 years worrying about the worst things and, so far, nothing's happened.
Take care
Pip x
How are you feeling now, Sean? Any better?
almamatters
25-12-13, 15:01
You have not got Alzheimer's that is for sure. Anxiety makes us feel like we are losing our minds sometimes, but it is just anxiety.
Hi Sean, are you feeling any better?
Hi I'm less panicky but very low sorry to tell everyone. I feel like I can't breath proply and just feel lowest ever.
Well it's good that you feel less panicky. Are you still on your own?
I really want to stop feeling like this I keep wanting to go hospital but what will they do today
---------- Post added at 17:01 ---------- Previous post was at 17:01 ----------
No not on own now with some family luckily but ruined everyone's christmas. Thank you for caring
You're right, hospital prob wouldn't do much today as it's more for emergencies. It's good that you're with family right now.
Don't worry about ruining everyones Christmas (you probably haven't and anyway, it isn't your fault. Don't beat yourself up about it.)
Just get through today if you can. I know how very hard it is and I feel for you, I have been there many times.
Today has been difficult for me and I have had too many glasses of wine, but hey, whatever gets you through....
Just say to yourself in a day or so if you still feel as bad you can go to your gp and try again. I am sure you are perfectly fine and this is all anxiety related. Try saying that to yourself over and over even if you don't actually believe it.
I am here if you need to talk, anytime
Thank you so much I mean it
You're welcome Sean. Sometimes I find that just talking to someone helps, not sure why. I think we can all get "stuck" in our own heads, and that's not always a good place to be.
No my head is not a good place at the moment. I want to know it's nothing serious and normal as has all happened since op and I know how anxious I have been and how my brain works but I find it impossible to be logical and because you can't go back in time you can never be 100% I just need help and tablets aren't doing it
That;s the problem right there - we all want 100% certainty that we are healthy and that is an impossibility.
All you can do is go with the probability of whether you have alzheimers - and as I and others have said it is EXTREMELY unlikely at your age and with your symptoms.
I thought I had alzheimers abaout 3 weeks ago (well, actually I was convinced I had it) and guess what? I haven't and I feel fine now. was just going through high anxiety and forgetting everything!
You said yourself that all this has happened since your op so a tiny part of your brain is being logical, even if you think you aren't.
Maybe you need to give your medication a bit longer to work, or go and see your gp and maybe change medicines.
There are a lot of people on this site who really care about you, me included. I hope that makes you feel a little bit better
unsure_about_this
25-12-13, 18:30
Hi
As other have said which I agree with I don't think it with Alzheimer either. I have not ruined Christmas this year like I did last year and a few years ago. one was because my sinuses were playing up and last year with my abdominal pain.
I ruined Christmas when I was 8 or 9 because a evil doctor told me I needed a brain scan because something was picked up from a optician (I suffered from NF.) even though it is important, back than I did not understand why I needed one.
Pomchi, you are an amzing person. I have been on and off this thread all day feeling paralysed with fear and you have always been on here helping me through and on CHRISTMAS day. You do not know how much it means. I went to the doctors two days ago and he said YOU DO not have dementia and refused to send me for tests. But something was going to erupt as I have been so anxious for so long and analysing everything. My brain has had enough I think. I wanted to end it at one small point today even with the most amazing family ever which goes to show what anxiety is. It's cruel.
Hi Sean I have been reading through all the posts and agree with what's been said I have a parent with Alzheimer and I don't think you have it either. I hope things start to pick up for you today and i wish you all the best.
Honestly Sean, the memory issues are down to anxiety. Mostly people with dementia are not actually aware that they are forgetting things. When I am in the throes of anxiety I start sentences sometimes and forget what I was saying before I finish them. I'm not exaggerating. People can be talking to them and I don't even hear what they're saying. It's because anxiety is so consuming that it sucks in all our attention and focus so we literally have none left for anything else.
Thank you cattia, I know it's reassurance but at times like this it's a life saver. I appreciate it. My anxiety has reached an all time high so it's going to play tricks with the brain but it feels so real that something more is wrong.
Worriedwellornot
25-12-13, 19:46
Hi Sean. I'm sure I don't have Alzheimer's but today I dished up the dinner and left the potatoes in the oven and put the tea caddy in fridge. It's just anxiety. Take care x x
sophieunderscore
25-12-13, 19:46
My concentration and memory are atrocious - I walk upstairs and forget what I came up for open, google chrome and forget what website I was going to open, I say things to people and then can't remember if I've said that to them or just thought it, I have conversations with people where I can't remember anything they've said, get my phone out of my pocket to look at the time, then forget what the time said. Anxiety uses up your brains resources, you're so busy panicking and feel anxious, that you don't have enough room for concentrating and remembering things. As your anxiety levels decrease your memory and concentration will increase. It's really important that you focus on reducing your anxiety. With health anxiety we move from one thing to another, if you don't get rid of the anxiety, then all reassurance will do is to force you to move on to another symptom or illness. You need to trust health professionals and the people around you. You have people who care about you, do you really think that if they thought something serious was wrong with you, they wouldn't march you to the doctor's themselves? Willous, it is heartbreaking seeing someone, who I don't even know, suffering like this. I wish you all the best in your recovery, and hope you get a breakthrough soon.
Hi Sean.
No need to thank me, I was glad I could help you (or at least I hope I helped you a little).
However bad you felt today, you've managed to get through it so well done for that.
Any time you need to talk, and you can PM me if you prefer.
Hope you're feeling a bit better:)
Sean,
Hope your feeling a little better. And Pomchi your a total star!!!!!!!
Thanks BikerMatt but I'm really not. Just been where Sean is and feel for him so much.
Hope you had a good day
Sean I have just seen this thread. I am so forgetful when I am anxious. Anxiety affects our concentration and memory so much. Once the doctor came to see me and sent the nurse out and I couldn't remember him saying she was coming or why.
I am sorry you have had such a bad day. Sending hugs :hugs::hugs:
Sean,
Have a read through this:
http://www.esht.nhs.uk/EasysiteWeb/getresource.axd?AssetID=496106&type=full&servicetype=Attachment
Pip x
Did you talk to the crisis team Sean?
Why won't your wife let you near her?
AuntieMoosie
26-12-13, 01:52
Sean, many, many people who have anxiety/panic attacks/depression and lots of other mental health illnesses, will have memory issues.
In fact, lack of concentration and poor memory are at the top of the symptoms, they are classic symptoms and I'd say that probably at least 80% of sufferers will have experienced this.
What you need to do right now, is stop yourself catastrophising Sean, when you get a scary thought, such as a Alzheimer's or dementia.........visualise a red flag and stop right there!
Then, calmly and rationally, think about it and say to yourself "ok, I know that these memory difficulties I have are symptoms of my anxiety and my memory will improve as my anxiety does"
Do this every time you get the scary thoughts, the idea is to try and stop getting yourself in a circle of fear, because you will just become more frightened and then you will start to panic and before you know it, you're spinning round at top speed on the merry-go-round of fear.
Remember that fear feeds fear, so if you can stop the fear, you will be able to calm down and think rationally. :hugs:
Hi Sean, hope you are feeling better today.
Hi thank you for all your posts. I have had a really horrific couple of days but just spoke to a nurse who funnily enough has anxiety and had health anxiety earlier this year when dad died. I have said it before but having to leave the internet for a while and my wife is literally banning me. I need to save my relationship. Earlier I had my memory completely blocked when in bed it was horrific. I shook so bad and had a bad panic attack. 111 were so hard to talk to but luckily got that app. I am going private on CBT and looking into it as a matter of urgency as she as others have said thinks it is much needed.
Thank you all so much, pomchi etc. I won't go through all the names as you know who you are put I am truly thankful. That nhs link moose helped me a lot. I am going to fight this and am at such a low that it's got to be up from here. I was give diazapam to calm me down. Once again thanks all and have an amazing new year. We can not let anxiety beat us. It's cruel how it can give you all the stmptoms of a serious illness. Bloody cruel but we will all be okay xx
Hi Sean
I haven't been on much and decided to step out of the discussion on the other thread, but just wanted to wish you the very best of luck. You should be positive that you have it in you to get better. Go back through your old posts where you actually got to a point where we were all joking and you were supporting others. You need to get back to the guy your wife married and the guy you showed us a while back.
Just a thought re: CBT if you are going privately. Find someone you gel with and find someone who understands HA. Having had three CBT therapists before the last one was excellent. Remember you are their customer and if it isn't working for you or the rapport isn't right you can move on and find someone else.
Secondly, try and approach it with the right mindset. It isn't going to make you well overnight, but I found that it helped me break down what felt like one massive and hugely complicated problem into smaller and easier chunks. When you beat one of the small chunks you can then take on more and it doesn't take too many small steps to turn into a leap and then you are running.
But sincerely mate, I know I have been direct at times but I do genuinely hope you find the route to happiness that we all deserve.
Oh and for the record.........you don't have Alzheimer's :)
Take care and good luck.
Worriedwellornot
27-12-13, 15:27
Good luck
Thanks BikerMatt but I'm really not. Just been where Sean is and feel for him so much.
Hope you had a good day
Oops sorry I missed this in answer I'm muddling through trying to hold it together especially for my gorgeous 9 month baby boy. Hope you are doing ok. Sean hope your also getting there.
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