Called Out A Paramedic Last Night :(

[cloudbusting]

Hello Everyone
I've been lurking for a bit on here. I first developed problematic health anxiety around 7 years ago. I say 'problematic' as I had been having the odd panic attack since around '95 but it tipped over into a full blown anxiety disorder 7 years ago. I managed to get through that and it went away, more or less. Now it's back and has been for a few months.
Well, yesterday as you know was Christmas Day, and my husband, 12 yo daughter and myself spent it quietly at home together. I was OK until around 6pm when I got a strange 'bubbling' under my ribcage - it honestly felt like a baby's foot kicking (for those of you who know that sensation !). Straight away the wave of anxiety / adrenaline swept over me and my heart was thudding, mind racing, couldn't get my breath ... then another ... then another. It was really bad this time, so bad that I got my husband to call 999 :weep: He was reluctant and kept trying to get me to knock back a glass of wine but I wouldn't as I felt it would worsen how I was feeling (in a blind panic at this point).
Anyway, the paramedics came and did loads of checks, all of which were fine (of course). Only two weeks ago I had an NHS healthcheck and everything came back as normal then, too. I felt so stupid and my husband is angry now as well.
I am at the start of getting CBT counselling and have an appointment on Monday. I don't take medication but feel maybe that I should now.
How do you all manage your anxiety ? Was there a 'trigger' event for you or is there a 'trigger' that brings it on - or does it come out of nowhere ?
I hope you don't mind me posting this as my first post. I just needed to share it with others who understand what it's like. Thanks.
Lisa.

[Tessar]

Hey Lisa.... No one will ever mind you posting about stuff like this here and it matters not if it's your first post, I am really glad u r starting CBT as it will be helpful I am sure. Hopefully you will feel better already just having offloaded all that! I don't suffer with HA myself but if I apply my experiences to your anxiety then I'd say medication can be very helpful indeed as can talking therapies. Wishing you well and I am sure there will be some people here with excellent advice for you. Something worth remembering is that having noted how you felt at the time and how things panned out after you had been checked over, I f you find yourself in that situation again, you could always pop back here and re-read your post as this In itself will reassure you that the issue isn't as bad as it seems when everything is going haywire.

[Pomchi]

Hi Lisa,

Sorry to hear that. I've had bad health anxiety about 7/8 years too. I think the trigger that started mine was a number of things - moving house to a completely different area, my son leaving for university, my dad dying and lots of guilt along the way.

Have been through good spells and bad spells in that time, at moment I am so-so and really trying hard to get a grip on it.

I have had CBT and councelling and am now trying hypnosis.

I have been on this site a few weeks and find it brilliant. Hopefully you will too.

I've also been looking for someone on here who is at the "same stage" in their anxiety as me, so that we could maybe keep in touch and help each other. There are other people on here who have done just that, and say it he,lped them. I think it's harder to do these things on your own. Don't know if this would interest you?

Hope you feel a bit better now. I know how hard it is, believe me. :)

[cattia]

Hi Lisa, sorry that you had such a bad experience especially on Christmas day. I have had HA since my early twenties (I'm now 36) but looking back I have had anxiety my whole life. I know exactly the feeling you are talking about with the rib thing. I don't know what causes it but I get it too and it reminds me exactly of having a baby kick into my ribs! It isn't anything to worry about, but I know It's no good saying that as I know that once you hit a full blown anxiety attack, it's pretty hard to get back from. I hope you find CBT helpful. I know many people in here have done. I feel as though i have tried everything to manage my anxiety, but I also wonder if maybe I haven't been consistent enough in applying these techniques. My anxiety has been worse since having children and I also have anxiety about them. I hope your boxing day goes better than your Christmas and you manage to have a nice relaxing day. X

[cloudbusting]

Hi again everyone and thank you all so so much for the replies already, it means such a lot that you have taken the time to answer me.

Cattia, you have helped me so much by saying that you have had that 'baby kicking' sensation too ! Just to know that someone else has had it, and it was fine, really really helps - honestly, you've no idea what relief that has given me ! :hugs:

Hi Pomchi. I am sorry to read about your dad passing away. My dad died back in '94. We were very close and I definitely think that his death sparked the first panics that I experienced. I also witnessed him having a heart attack in front of me when I was a teenager and, of course, that terrible experience plays through my head when I'm having an 'episode'. Funnily enough, I also moved away from friends and family with my daughter almost 8 years ago now and that was the start of my 'second round' of anxious feelings. I would love to keep in touch with you and hopefully we can support each other :yesyes:

Tessar, thank you - great advice about looking back at what I have posted here to remind me that all was 'OK' in the end, I shall definitely do that. Good to know, also that the CBT worked so well for you.

Thanks again, everyone. Here's to a relaxing, anxiety free day for all of us.
Lisa x

[lfc65]

Hi Lisa. I'm new on here too but have suffered from HA for 11 years. Developed on from post natal depression and intensified after the death of my dad. I'm also anxious about my children's health, not just myself. The past three years have been much better with only blips that last between 3 days and a week, I would say I am not anxious around 90 percent of the time. I really had no idea that there were so many sufferers, the brilliant thing about this website is the knowing you are not alone and so many people have some great advice to offer. I have had virtually all of the anxiety symptoms listed on here at some point, including the baby kicking sensation! I hope you find CBT helpful, I certainly did x

[cloudbusting]

Thank you, lfc65.
A couple of us have said that we worry about our children too. My daughter has a moderate physical disability (dyspraxia) and learning difficulties. I can terrify myself at the thought of not being there for her as there's so much that she can't do for herself (personal care and that sort of thing).
Well, I shall be off to bed soon. I had a couple of wobbles today but took some breaths and they went away. I took the dog for a short walk as well with my daughter and stepson and felt a bit better for it.
Tomorrow's another day, as they say.

[Pomchi]

Hi Cloudbusting,

How are you feeling today? Any better?:)

[cloudbusting]

Hi Pomchi. I took a beta blocker today. My GP gave them to me two months ago but I didn't take them (too scared). Our kids want to go and spend some of their Christmas money today and the thought of all the busy shops ... well, I know I don't need to explain. So, I took a BB. Have felt nervy feelings since but they'll pass and I feel that I can cope with a shortish trip. Let's see !
Thanks for asking, pomchi - how're you doing ? x

[Pomchi]

Not too bad thanks. Funny enough, I was prescribed beta blockers a while ago and haven't started them yet! Weirdly, I ask doctor for tablets then when I get them am scared to take them - mad!

What dosage are you on? I think mine are 10mg 4 x a day.

I've also been thinking about starting them, as I think they might stop the jittery feelings that are there all the time, even when I am having a quite good day. If I do I'll let you know if they have any side effects so that you'll know if yours are the same, and caused by the tablets.

Good luck with the shopping - you're braver than me!

[Apple81]

Hey cloudbusting

My trigger was my GP referring me for a scan on my breast about 18 mths ago. I'd always 'worried' but it sent me into meltdown and I scared myself stupid by googling and looking up symptoms. The scan came back clear, and I was ok for a couple of months (I went travelling during the summer holiday and that helped), but it flared up again last October.

Christmas last year was horrid. I'd been referred through iapt (which was taking ages to come through) and my new GP prescribed fluoxetine. In January I found myself a private therapist who I'm still seeing.

Medication helped. Therapy helped. A lot. I still have bad days. I still 'check' for things and fret and seek reassurance. But the good days are becoming more and more frequent and I've learnt how to spot where my anxiety triggers will strike.

There is hope - don't give up x

[cloudbusting]

Hi Folks

Sorry that I haven't been around very much. After my 'episode' I was in a highly anxious state for a few days and so thought it best to not check in here until I could read some of the threads without scaring myself even more :blush:

Here's what I *did* find out online and it has started to turn me around more than I could have ever believed.

I'm sure that lots of you on here have heard of Dr. Claire Weekes. Well, I stumbled upon some of her videos on Youtube and then ordered her first book (Help for your Nerves ?) on Amazon.

Oh my goodness. Talk about a switch being turned on.

After just a few days I am managing my panicky thoughts and inappropriate releases of adrenaline like a pro ! I can't believe the difference already. I know that there's still a long way to go and it will take some time to truly desensitize my nerves but this is a great start.

I also went to see my CBT counsellor yesterday for my first session (had the initial consultation several weeks ago). That went really well, I have some 'homework' to do by keeping a panic diary and I see her again on the 9th. I told her that I had the book and she highly recommended it too. I would urge everyone to get a copy at the earliest opportunity and read it and believe it !

Something else I noticed about this forum are all of the threads about stuff that people are worried about in the media, news, soap storylines etc, etc. We don't watch the TV in our house or read newspapers (I know, we are weirdos) - it's our choice that we give them a wide berth. Avoiding them hasn't stopped me from developing a panic disorder (I have had one for years but that's a whole other thread) but I suspect that that sort of sensationalist reporting about 'XYZ causing cancer' and being bombarded with negativity via the gogglebox would certainly hinder someone's recovery.

Anyway, that's where I am right now. Feeling positive but knowing that I still have a long way to go.